


Oh Brother, I Will Hear You Call

by AidaHwedo



Series: Hey, Brother [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb needs a hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Essek just wants his friends to like him, Essek needs a hug, Found Family, Gen, No Beta We Die as Men, the author has lost control of the plot, the characters have hijacked the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24919402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidaHwedo/pseuds/AidaHwedo
Summary: This was not how Essek wanted his friends to find out he had a younger brother. Also this was not how Verin thought he was going to meet his brother's friends
Series: Hey, Brother [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716418
Comments: 101
Kudos: 443





	1. Essek

**Author's Note:**

> So I lied about not posting this story before posted the next chapter of Through Seas of Stars, it's coming I promise. I may have started to write myself into a corner and need to figure out how extricate myself from it and the chapter is fighting me. Fingers crossed I have it up in the next couple of weeks. In the mean time enjoy this installment of the Verin and Essek show.

Three weeks, it had been three weeks since he had heard anything from the Mighty Nein. The last communication he had received was a thank you for the pastries, TravelerCon had been amazing (though there had been a tone in Jester’s voice that Essek wasn’t sure how to interpret), and that they were off to collect venom from a Swavain Basilisk. The thought of them fighting another incredibly dangerous and deadly sea creature ( _hadn’t a dragon turtle been enough?)_ was terrifying and the silence that has followed made him even more afraid for them. He hasn’t seen them in person since the peace talks ended and he teleported off the deck of their ship; he had been too much of a coward to deliver the pastries in person and had handed them off to a half-elf man on the deck of their ship with a note and the direction to deliver them to Jester. So he was in an uncomfortable state of limbo currently trying to figure out how to make amends to the rest of his friends, taking care of the day to day mundanities of his position, and the surprising bright spot of getting to know Verin better.

The feeling of eyes on him reminded Essek that he couldn’t afford to be lost in thought right now, not during Court Assembly, this was a bad habit that he was going to have to nip in the bud in short order. A subtle sweep of the room revealed the source of the eyes on his person as he caught the disapproving gaze of his Den’s Umavi. A cold dread began to form and settle like lead in his stomach. _She is going to have my head after this is over,_ the realization sent his thoughts scurrying like spiders fleeing the light as he tried to figure out how he could explain his inattention during the day’s assembly. _If only there were some way to distract her_ , as soon as he thought that the sound of his brother’s voice, more frantic than he’d ever heard it before, echoed in his mind as if shouted next to his ear. 

“Essek, we’re under attack. The Umbra Gates opened again and we have eight and counting abyssal rifts forming behind the city cutting off…” the sending cutoff sharply as the word limit was reached before a new one started right on its heels, “…retreat. They’re spitting out Yochlols. We’re being overrun. Can you send help?” Fear coursed through him like an electric shock, all thoughts of what his Umavi would do or say to him for his inattentiveness forgotten. Standing up abruptly and effectively cutting off the Bright Queen without a word, Essek could hear the entire Court fall silent disapproving gazes boring into him.

“…Shadowhand do you have something to say?” The silken threat in that statement said that there’d better be a good reason for him showing her such disrespect openly and in such a dramatic manner. 

“Please forgive me, your Majesty. I’ve just received an urgent Sending,” the Bright Queen’s expression eased just a hair, before she could ask he directed his next words towards her partner standing guard behind her throne. “Dusk Captain, Bazzoxan is under attack, the Umbra Gates have opened and they have eight and counting abyssal rifts forming behind the city. They’re effectively pincered. The rifts are releasing Yochlols.”

The outraged silence that had settled over the assembled Den representatives, court officials, and gathered Umavi turned into a worried hush at the news, gasps of rage escaping a few throats at the mention of the Spider Queen’s agents. He could feel his Umavi’s gaze boring into him as he stood waiting for the Bright Queen to make her decision. She knew exactly who he had gotten that information from and he was sure that she would question him later as to why he had given his brother a Sending stone, but it would most likely go his in favor after all depending on how the Bright Queen reacted to this news it would only reflect well on their Den.

“Dusk Captain ready your people, as many as you think Rosohna can spare. Shadowhand, thank you for bringing this emergency to our attention.” It was clearly a dismissal and she expected him to sit down and let the Dusk Captain and the Aurora Watch handle it from here. _I’m already on thin ice, so to speak, do I push it and ask…I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that the rifts were opened, nor the nature of the fiends of coming through. Much like the Obann raised an assassin of the Spider Queen to use towards his own ends, it would seem that the cults of the Chained Oblivion are in league with the Spider Queen or at least the Children of Malice and have yet to play their last hand._

“Your Majesty if I may beg your permission, I would like to retrieve the Mighty Nein. Given the presence of the abyssal rifts I believe this may have been orchestrated either by the remains of the Angel of Irons cult or a similar cult given what we know about the Angel of Irons being a front for the Chained Oblivion. The Mighty Nein have dealt with these rifts in the past and also were the ones that uncovered the truth of the cult. Their presence and experience might prove invaluable in this situation,” standing firm in the face of the Bright Queen’s narrow eyed disapproval. He knew he was giving even more credence to the rumors that he was far too enamored of his charges, and well they weren’t wrong, but in this case it was also a prudent idea given their past experience.

“You push your luck Shadowhand, but given your argument I will allow it. Dusk Captain, Shadowhand you’re both dismissed.”

He didn’t need to be told twice waiting until the Dusk Captain had passed him and then floating as fast as his field would allow after her. As it stood he needed to retrieve the bag of diamonds from his office before he could even think about teleporting to the Ball Eater to try and convince the Mighty Nein to come with him. That was not going to be easy and he could only hope that they would agree. Teleporting twice would leave what he would be able to cast significantly reduced but hopefully, he would still be able to be somewhat effective. Mentally reviewing what spells he currently had prepared Essek grimaced he had far less spells prepared for open combat than he would have liked and the ones he did have were all high energy cost spells. Not ideal but he was resourceful and he could make do. _Please let me have enough time. Please let my friends agree to provide aid. I can’t lose any of them Verin included._ It wasn’t quite a prayer more like a desperate plea to any of the sundry deities that his friends venerated.

“You look concerned Shadowhand, have a little more faith. Your gift has given us enough of a warning to turn the tide.” Quana Kryn’s voice startled him out of his spiraling thoughts and Essek couldn’t help but think about the last time he had been alone in these halls with the Dusk Captain a little less than three weeks ago when he had informed her about the supplies sabotage issue with Bazzoxan. She had not been pleased about the news and had all but ordered him to keep an eye on the shipments from now on to determine if it were deliberate, effectively adding to his workload tenfold. He had an inkling that if his agents did discover that it was deliberate malice then heads would roll. To hear her brusque attempt at reassuring him now was disconcerting to say the least. 

“I would feel better if we didn’t have to have this conversation in the first place. Forgive me I must leave you here, I need to retrieve some components from my office and then retrieve the Mighty Nein.” It was as close to an acknowledgement and dismissal as he dared to give her, even as he turned towards the hallway that held his official office. If he had been alone he would have dropped the field and the mantle entirely to break into a run but there were always wandering eyes in this place and he couldn’t afford to do so. As he was floating down the hall he heard the Dusk Captain speak again. 

“Your recent absences had some of us concerned, Shadowhand,” A prickle of fear caused the sensation of hair on his neck standing on end underneath the collar of his mantle, “imagine our surprise then when we discovered that those absences were a matter of visiting a particularly close member of your Den.” 

Relief flooded through him, it seemed that he had been correct about the origin of the scrying attempt that he had let find him a week and half ago during a friendly dinner with Verin. It had been a risk letting the scry see him; however, there were only a finite number of people that it might have been and blocking it would raise suspicion among two of those groups. He had made sure though to lay in heavy Dunamantic wards on his next visit just in case he had been wrong and it was the Assembly and not the Dynasty or the Mighty Nein. 

“While I don’t know why you would feel the need to hide your association with your sibling, I must say that I am personally grateful that it seems to have paid off in this instance.” It wasn’t a complete absolution of suspicion but an acknowledgement that there had been and that it had since lessened greatly though he was still under close watch. A single point of persistent anxiety eased though it did nothing for the weight of his newly acknowledged (to himself at least) guilt pushing like a sword edge against his throat. 

“Yes, well….Given the nature of my position there is no end to the number of people that would not hesitate to strike out at my younger sibling to get at me. Especially since he is, as of yet, unconsecuted. I wanted to shield him from those that would seek retribution through him.” Not quite the truth but certainly not a lie either, just a reasoning far more recent than she suspected. Essek could only hope that explanation satisfied whatever lingering doubts she might have had as he didn’t have time to delay and attempt to further distract her.

Turning another corner the Dusk Captain was out of sight and he was within a stone’s throw of his office door. _Five feet, just five more feet, and I can at least feel like I’m doing something instead of crawling out of my skin with worry. Caring is so terribly bad for your focus._ He reached the warded door to his office and reached a hand out to grasp the handle feeling the wards taste the ring on his right pinkie that served as the key. The faint click of the arcane lock releasing was all he needed to push open the door. Boots hit the floor softly as he released his gravitational field the door swinging closed and wards clicking back into place. The first thing he did was grab the bag of diamonds, one of two that he had been collecting these past three weeks in the event of a sending like this, from its place of safe keeping under a false bottom of a locked drawer. As an afterthought his hands came up and released the closures on the mantle allowing it to drift to the floor. Placing the fallen mantle over the back of the chair, Essek removed the form fitting ornamented jacket he was wearing and reached for the enchanted soft grey spider silk wrap tunic he wore whenever he was meeting agents that he didn’t trust not to stab him in the back. If he was going to be teleporting into open combat he needed the extra protection its Force Armor enchantment would provide.

Summoning the master sending stone, he focused on getting a message to Verin, “Reinforcements are coming. I’m retrieving the Mighty Nein and will be there shortly. Are you able to hold on until then?” The couple of seconds he had to wait for his brother’s reply felt agonizingly long, but just as he had all but convinced himself that he was already too late Verin’s voice sounding slightly out of breath answered, “We’re able to hold, we’re taking heavy casualties though. Thank you.” 

Renewed urgency had Essek settling the tunic into place and tucking the bag of diamonds into his Expanded Wrist Pocket, he considered casting Sending to tell Jester that he was coming and why; but, that would make it too easy for the others to refuse and he couldn’t afford to let them refuse. Concentrating on the deck of the Ball Eater and all the details he could remember from the feel of the wood to the way the prow was shaped just so, he spoke the command word. The world narrowed to the sensation of his insides being squeezed through a tube and then being stretched, compressed and flung to his destination. _Let this be enough, please let this be enough._ The squeezing, stretching, and compressing feeling ended abruptly with his feet hitting salt roughened wood, blinding light searing his retinas, and the sound of creaking timber and lapping waves against wood. Raising a hand to shade his eyes hoping that at least one of his friends was on deck nearby he was meant by a harsh voice saying, “What are you doing here?” 

A wave of relief settled over him even as he internally flinched at the hostility in her tone, “Beauregard.”


	2. Beauregard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beauregard and the Mighty Nein receive an unexpected guest on the deck of the Ball Eater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got this up before Thursday makes this officially AU. This will most likely divert horribly from canon from here on out but hey I can dream. Also I cannot imagine monkey Frumpkin as anything other than a Golden Lion Tamarin so enjoy fluffy golden orange cat monkey.

_Gods I hate this_ , Beau thought as she leaned against the starboard railing keeping an eye out for any more interference of the Uk’otoa kind. This had been the longest (since Molly had died anyway) that they had been this at odds with each other. Ever since the night that Essek had left and they (well she and Veth) had discussed what they were going to do about him there had been a tension between herself and Veth and the rest of the Nein. It sucked and she didn’t know how to fix it because she was right. Essek had to answer for what he had done, this wasn’t a simple thing like ruining a couple’s marriage by blackmailing them both over their affairs, it wasn’t stealing from your family to undercut their business; what he had done was knowingly start a war to get what he wanted. She was an Expositor now it was her job to root out corruption. She was trying to be a better person and part of that was not looking aside when someone does something she knew was wrong like she had in the past. She didn’t know why the rest of her friends ( _family_ , the part of her that she tried not to acknowledge whispered) couldn’t see that. In that same vein she knew she should have called Veth on her hypocrisy that night when she had fell into line with Beau’s own argument that he needed to be punished, because it seemed that Veth had conveniently forgotten what she (as Nott) had offered Isharnai to get her curse lifted. The fact of the matter was that she desperately needed someone on her side and the only one who was vocally on her side was Veth.

Caduceus and Jester seemed to be firmly in camp forgive and forget. Jester especially since he had apparently, according to Marius, teleported onto their ship without warning to deliver a box of pastries for her five days after the Peace Talks had ended. _And isn’t the timing on that suspicious, I’m not sure if that was a warning that he can find us or if it was an attempt to buy Jester’s silence. Either way it was shady as hell._ She wondered if he had actually left the ship or if he had been scrying; because, it was one hell of coincidence that Jester had advocated punishing him less if he brought them better pastries and four days later he shows up with a box of (admittedly fantastic) pastries from Bazzoxan of all places. Fjord and Yasha were staying quiet not saying much one way or the other, when push came to shove Beau was reasonably sure that they would end up agreeing with her. Which left Caleb, who was avoiding her and Veth like the plague, vanishing all day and only returning to set up the dome to sleep. She understood that he saw Essek as a mirror of himself and to be honest she could see it too, but unlike Caleb he had walked willingly with open eyes into his situation. Honestly she saw pieces of all of them in him, especially herself as she was before. It was why he needed to answer for his crimes because he seemed to combine the worst traits of all them and he had admitted himself that he did not feel guilty for what he had done, only for how it affected them and how it had affected how they saw him. She ignored the insistent thought that Molly would be firmly in Caleb’s camp on this one always arguing for second chances and who was she to determine who deserved one and who didn’t. He wasn’t here and besides none of what lay in their past was on the same level as starting a war. 

Getting tired of staring out at the ocean and blinking back afterimages from the midday glare off the water Beau turned to lean her back up against the railing elbows resting on it. She could see Orly at the helm, taking over so Fjord could meditate with Caduceus below deck. Craning her neck up she just barely made out the golden orange fluffy shape of Frumpkin’s monkey form on the rigging up by the crow’s nest. Even when Frumpkin wasn’t a cat he still looked cat-like with the fluffy mane like ruff of fur framing his face. She knew that Caleb wasn’t in the crow’s nest (it had been one of the first places she had looked for him) but rather doing navigator duties through Frumpkin’s eyes from wherever he had sequestered himself away. The worst part of this was that it felt like the rest of Nein were caught between her, Veth, and Caleb. Someone was going to have to give and she didn’t think that it was going to happen. She had seen how stubborn Caleb was when he fixated on something it had nearly gotten them all killed before and it was why they had promised each other to act as the other’s conscience because that was something they both struggled with; but that very fact was why they were at odds right now because he wasn’t listening to her and she wasn’t about to budge on this. Veth was no help in convincing him that this was the right thing to do either, maybe she would have been at one time but there was a distance in their relationship that was slowly widening into a chasm. It had started in Felderwin when they found out that Yeza had been taken, started healing and though it wasn’t completely to where it was before, it was still almost complete; then, Yasha was mind controlled and their trip to Nicodranus broke it open again. She wasn’t sure what had happened but the distance started again and hadn’t stopped widening. She wasn’t even sure that Veth noticed the distance now, especially since she was still reveling in the fact that she had her own body and form back. 

A slight whooshing pop noise of suddenly displaced air caught her attention as Essek materialized on the deck squinting raising a bracing hand to shield his eyes from the midday sun. He wasn’t wearing his mantle nor was he wearing the more relaxed casual outfit they had seen the night he joined them for dinner, instead he was wearing a grey loose wrapped tunic that fell to his knees and seemed to shimmer slightly in light almost like the air distortion off cobblestones on hot summer days. His entire form looked tense and desperate as he appeared to search the deck for somebody. 

“What are you doing here?” She couldn’t keep the snarl out of her voice as she said it, her frustration and anger of the last few weeks finally having a valid target in the cause of all this turmoil. She watched as he seemed to orient himself by the sound of her voice, shielding hand shading his eyes enough to open more than a pained a squint. 

“Beauregard,” Essek’s entire frame seemed ease as some of the tension left even as his stance continued to reek of desperation. The relieved tone in his voice as he said her name sent a flare of fury through her; however before she was able to snap back at him he continued sounding near breathless with something that might have been panic and certainly was at least half anxiety. “Where are the others, I…it’s important.” 

Just as she started to respond a streak of golden orange fur raced down the crow’s nest rigging, leaping from rope to rope and racing across the deck, stopping just short of planting itself between the two of them. Golden eyes absent of any trace of glowing blue glanced between the two of them. _Which means wherever Caleb is he’s close enough to hear us without listening through Frumpkin._ Pulling her attention back to Essek she noticed him take in Frumpkin’s appearance and relax slightly further though there was still a wild, almost manic, look in his eye. 

“I…there’s not a lot of time and I would prefer to ask this just once.” _Fuck, that sounds like he’s gotten himself into trouble and is calling in one of the favors we owe him_. _I knew that would come back and bite us in the ass._

“I think you should start talking then,” Beau bit out with a level look even as she spotted Marius coming up from below deck. “Marius.” 

The shout carried across the deck getting the Half-Elf man’s attention and a reflexive response of “I haven’t killed anyone yet today.”

“Get the Captain, and tell him to gather the rest of our friends, we have an unexpected guest.” Looking down at Frumpkin she added as an afterthought, “tell him Caleb already knows.” She watched Marius nod and disappear back below deck to carry out the order. Directing her gaze back at Essek she noticed that he had started tensing up again, heels almost drifting up into his signature float and then forcibly coming back into contact with the wood of the deck. His hair was slightly disheveled which might have been from the slight breeze on the deck, and he was clutching something in his right hand so tightly the skin over his knuckles was a very pale grey. Beau could see that his eyes were darting across the deck presumably looking for the other members of the Mighty Nein. These little ticks all painted a very grim picture for her and she wanted to keep her friends far away from it.

“What’s chasing you and how much trouble have you just led to us?” She only had a few moments before the rest of her friends arrived and she would be damned if she was going to let them be blindsided by whatever Essek had dragged with him. Her question seemed to startle him freezing his darting glance in place.

“I…Nothing followed me, this has nothing to do with the Assembly or Beacons,” he paused as if fighting to find the right words and there was an undercurrent to his words that Beau didn’t quite believe. At that moment she could see her Fjord and Caduceus making their way up from below deck followed by Jester, Veth, and Yasha.

“Essek what brings you to my ship,” Fjord’s voice was somewhere between cold and cautious as he addressed the Drow. Essek hesitated before answering clearly looking for Caleb and deciding that whatever he was running from was more urgent.

“Bazzoxan is under attack, there are abyssal rifts forming and cutting off the people’s retreat. At last estimate there were eight and counting.” The words were almost blurted out tumbling over themselves in their haste. That was not what she had expected and he seemed far too worked up for there not be something important to him under threat. He was one of the best liars she had met (right up there among herself, Molly, and Caleb)but somehow she didn’t think that he was lying about this. Still she wasn’t about to let her friends jump into whatever this request was without thinking about it first.

“So what does this have to do with us?” She could see a nerve in his jaw jump as he grit his teeth before answering, “Given the fact that you uncovered the Angel of Irons Cult underneath the Penumbra range not far from the Umbra Gates and the Black Temple and dealt the abyssal rifts before…the Bright Queen thought it prudent to request your assistance.”

She could hear the lie in the last part of his statement and exchanging a look with Fjord and Veth the two of them heard it too.

“Cut the bullshit Essek, why does it matter so much to you that this is happening and why are you insisting that we come?” 

“There isn’t time for this. If you’re unwilling provide aid, then I need to leave because I am needed there,” He bit out with a frustrated noise though she thought she detected an undercurrent of hurt in his words. Before any of them could respond Frumpkin clambered up Essek’s leg to perch upon his shoulder tail curled loosely around his collarbones and neck startling an “Oh, hello,” from Essek and a slight relaxing of his shoulders. 

_Dammit,_ she thought, because that was a clear indication of what Caleb thought they should do. Out of the corner of her eye she saw one of the many mollymawks that perched on the masts and the rigging to rest from their cross oceanic flights stretch its wings and lumberingly lift itself into the air. A sinking suspicion of how Caleb had been able to avoid her within the confines of the ship these past weeks began to form, especially since there had been all sorts of butterflies in the tropical jungles that covered Rumblecusp. The albatross (Caleb would pick a bird sailors called the ghost bird and had the nickname of their lost friend’s chosen name as particularly unsubtle reminder wouldn’t he) circled them over head gliding lower and lower until it began changing and shifting and Caleb’s feet finally hit the deck to Essek’s right.

“We have racked up a great many favors for you, are you calling one in for this?” his voice was calm and deliberate the soft Zemnian accent slightly more prominant, there was a tone to his voice that was not precisely friendly but it wasn’t quite a threat either (a leftover of Bren she surmised). That tone and question made Beau feel better about this, most likely some sort of test based on how Essek answered the question. 

“No, all favors are cleared, I never truly intended to call them in anyway. I need to go, I’m sorry for disturbing you.” The defeat in his voice coupled with the way his fist tightened on whatever he was holding told a story that she wasn’t sure how to handle. He started to lower the hand shading his eyes to make the now familiar motion to teleport, probably assuming that Frumpkin would dart back to Caleb.

“Not so fast, I did not say that I, at least, would be unwilling to help. We owe you and the Dynasty much not the least of which is the home to which we return, I for one do not like the implications that the Angel of Irons cult is not as disbanded and crippled as we thought.” Caleb’s eyes were sweeping all of them but lingered tellingly on her and Veth. 

“I agree with Caleb,” Yasha spoke up, a quiet intensity to her words that reminded Beau of the calm before a storm. One by one she watched as the rest of her friends threw their lots in agreement with Caleb, Veth doing so with an apologetic look towards her. She didn’t like this, she didn’t like this one bit. Stubbornly remaining silent she stared at Caleb, he was going to have to do better than that to convince her. He didn’t say anything just stared at her with an impassive gaze waiting her out, all the while she could see Essek’s breathing ratcheting up as whatever countdown he had going in his head kept ticking lower.

“Fine, we’ll do it, but if you fuck us over Essek….” Beau let the threat trail off, after all he was already well aware just how much they could fuck him over back. The effect was immediate his posture slumping as if a puppet whose strings had been cut. Immediately he began the gesture to teleport, holding his hands out tentatively as if not expecting them to take them. Jester darting forward grab the one that had been clenched around what she could now see was a stone that looked like a flat river rock. He rotated his wrist and it vanished into whatever pocket plane he kept his spell book in before allowing Jester to complete the hand clasp. 

“Essek, why didn’t you bring your parasol? Did you not keep it?” Jester asked as soon as she wrapped her fingers through his an almost hurt air to the question. 

“I was in the middle of Court Assembly when the Sending arrived, there was no time to return home to retrieve it and also we’re going into a battle I wouldn’t want it to get damaged.” He stuttered out the words even as Caleb grabbed his right hand. _At least he didn’t make Jester sad again. I suppose I can give him that if it isn’t a lie, then again it’s almost impossible to lie to Jester._ Veth grabbed Caleb’s other hand and she, herself, darted forward to hold Jester’s. Fjord fell into place beside her and Caduceus after him, Yasha rounding out the circle by grabbing his and Veth’s hands. Once all their hands were linked Essek spoke the command word and the world narrowed down to a sensations of being pulled through a tube the squeezed and pushed before they materialized in an alley to the sounds of pitched battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I found the wondrous item that my previous character had in my group's DM's copy of the 3.5 Magical Item Compendium and I was wrong it was not a robe but Rings of Force Armor.
> 
> Rings of Force Armor:
> 
> This pair of black iron rings must be worn as a set, one on either hand with no other magic ring, to function. They sheathe their wearer in a field of magical force, granting a +4 armor bonus to AC (as the mage armor spell). This sheath is harmful to the touch: Any creature whose bare flesh contacts the wearer takes 1d4 points of damage. The wearers unarmed strikes gain a +1 enhancement bonus on attacks and deal an additional 1d4 points of damage.  
> Caster Level: 9th; Prerequisites: Forge Ring, mage armor, magic weapon, wall of force; Market Price: 45,000 gp.  
> Source: Arms and Equipment Guide


	3. Verin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help comes in unexpected and unusual forms as Verin finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not the greatest at writing battle scenes but I hope I managed to convey the magnitude of the battle going on in this chapter. Also I may have fudged the effects of Dark Star slightly but other than that I tried to stick as closely to D&D mechanics as I could without sacrificing flow and readability.

_Where is he?_ Verin thought even as he and his echo wove through the chaos. The Dusk Captain’s reinforcements from Rosohna had arrived providing much needed support but they were still not quite enough to turn back the shear multitude of fiends that had managed to spill out from the abyssal rifts and the Umbra Gates. At this point the only consolation he had was that they had managed to close the rifts and smash the anchors before the rift count had reached twelve unfortunately not before the Marilith had gotten through. Still Essek had said he was coming and bringing more reinforcements who had dealt with the rifts before and they could really, really, use more fire power and clerics, the clerics in particular. While the Luxon clerics attached to the garrisons were good he couldn’t help but resent the belief that the next life would be an opportunity meaning they did little to revive those who had fallen. It was why he had started reaching out and offering positions here in Bazzoxan to clerics of other deities after the Beacon went missing. 

Verin had lost sight of Honor early on in the chaos and he could only hope that she was holding her own, he would hate to be unable to keep his promise to her. Even if she had told him that it was not one that was not within his control to keep; however, he had promised himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure that the consecuted members that had stayed would live long enough to retire to somewhere safer within the range of a Beacon. Ducking out of the way of raking claws and a stinger tipped tail, his echo’s blade whistled above his head cleaving the imp in two. It was a struggle not to look at the bodies already lining the streets most in armor some not.

 _There’s nothing I can do for them currently and I won’t be able to do anything for them if I die,_ Verin reminded himself. Blinking sweat and blood from his eyes he scanned searching for any sign that they were winning. They had lost track of how many Yochlols came through and those were the ones that he was most worried about because of their shapeshifting abilities would allow them to hide among the citizens and Aurora Watch. Captain Beltune’s unit had cornered the majority of the Greater Barghests near the garrison buildings and he could hear the heavy kerthunk sound of the two ballistae firing trying to keep the Marilith away from the city’s walls. All in all he was insanely glad that whatever intelligence or paranoid impulse caused his brother to craft and inlay the powerful Dunamantic wards on his manse because at least he had the knowledge that the children who were too young and not capable of fighting or defending themselves were safe, as safe as he could make them at least, in the large root and wine cellar there. Parry, duck, dodge, cleave he fell into a deadly dance mirrored by his echo fighting their way toward the walls. A blurred figure in deep blue shot past him resolving into the form of a young human woman with glowing fists punching the tall vulture like Vrock that screeched in rage and pain at her blows, snapping at her with its beak. 

“Watch out for spores and it’s resistant to magic,” She called after the hits landed, suddenly her form changed as she grew taller until she stood eye to eye with the demon. He could see the feral grin that she gave it right before she unleashed a flurry of blows almost faster than Verin’s eyes could track. Relief flooded through him it seemed that Essek and his friends had finally arrived. Trusting that they would be able to take care of themselves he kept forging ahead towards the wall and the largest threat the Marilith. He caught sight of casualties that had been shuddering and gasping clearly in death throws suddenly still, their breathing evening out and holding steady; while a glittering cloud of iridescent insects swarmed the nearest demons, as what appeared to be a giant spectral pink and purple serrated lollipop plowed into a Barghest whelp to his left. In his head as if spoken into his right ear, he heard Essek’s voice, “We’re here. Where do you need me most?” 

“The wall, there’s a Marilith,” was all that he could gasp out as he forged ahead through the chaos. From somewhere behind him he heard what sounded like a primal scream of rage and the wet sound of a heavy blade being drawn through flesh. His echo had dissipated at this point and he was finding it harder get through the press of bodies. A swarm of quasits charged at him only to be swept aside by an invisible wave that herded them into a ball and crushed them. A hint of grey nearly blending into the shadows fluttered just in his peripherals. Verin couldn’t suppress the smile that curved across his lips as he realized that Essek had found him, even as the more practical part of him started screaming that if his brother wasn’t going to wear proper armor he shouldn’t be in the thick of things like this. 

The two of them managed to get their way to the wall and its guard towers when Essek grabbed his wrist and the world dissolved into mist and shadows; suddenly they were both standing on top of the stone walls looking down on the Marilith trying to carve its way through a contingent of the reinforcements from Rosohna to get to the gates. The ballistae were continuing to pepper it with bolts; however, the silvered and barbed ammunition seemed to be doing little more than distracting it from teleporting and making it focus on parrying the bolts out of the air instead of attacking the Aurora Watch’s Legionnaires. He wasn’t going to do much good from up here and before he could ask if Essek could send him down Verin saw his brother clench his hand around something hard and fling it down towards the Marilith. His eyes could barely track the small sharp shard of onyx that tumbled down towards the snakelike demon. As it did so darkness began to gather as if gaining mass and a pulling sensation tugged lightly at them, the shard froze near its shoulder and the darkness expanded into black sphere narrowly missing its head. Though one of its hands and the sword it held vanished into the sphere as it began to contract until it vanished leaving a gray dust where the hand used to be sword dropping to the ground. The Marilith let out a hissing scream of rage focusing on the two of them. Sweeping her tail towards the Rosohna contingent the remaining five arms leveling their swords towards them.

“I hope you have more where that came from.” 

“Unfortunately I was not planning on being in combat today and so that was one of the only more powerful offensive spells I had prepared for the day. However, I can do this.” As he said those words Verin felt lighter as if his war plate wasn’t as heavy as he expected it to be, as if he himself was lighter. He wasn’t floating but taking a step he could tell that as long he didn’t get entangled in anything he was free to move more fluidly than the armor normally allowed. The demon began to swing and was forced to parry another ballista bolt from the towers, its form beginning to shimmer slightly as it made a hand gesture but before she could complete it a swirling ribbon of glyphs of glowing purple arcane light spiraled down wrapping around her body freezing her in place briefly then shattered as she vanished. Appearing on the wall five arms clutching the stones on either side of the four foot walk way they were standing on directly above the gate as it began to lever its torso up getting the bulk of the serpentine tail underneath itself. The arms let go of the walkway and it shot forwards toward them blades swinging wildly.

Verin knew he would be able to parry only one of the attacks the only consolation he had was that on this narrow of a surface it wouldn’t be able to sweep with its tail and stay on the wall. At least he was in front of Essek; he was wearing the Krynn war plate and his own was enchanted for greater durability so he would fare much better than his brother should the swords hit him. The top most arm swung down from overhead forcing him to brace the flat of his sword against his forearm so it didn’t snap under the strain of blocking that overhead blade, but unfortunately leaving his sides open to the other four blades swinging towards his torso. Praying that his armor would withstand the blows, Verin braced for impact hoping that Essek had the good sense to get out of range and then attack if he had to. The blows never came, instead a giant hand covered in copper colored fur swept both him and Essek into a pseudo embrace as a giant ape grabbed them and carried them over the wall out of the range of the Marilith. A small creature almost indistinguishable from the ape’s own fur darted down its arm to curl around his brother’s neck. He could see two figures with swords slide off the ape’s shoulders as a third flipped up onto the wall behind the demon.

Recognizing the glowing fists of the young woman from before she now seemed to be surrounded a swarm of tiny brightly colored small animals he couldn’t quite make out. The ape set them down on the ground a short distance from the Watch contingent around the gates with what Verin could have sworn was a stern look at Essek and a grunt before scaling the wall near the end of the Marilith’s tail. One of its hands grasped the end of the tail and yanked allowing itself to drop from the wall. The demon shrieked as she overbalanced the glimmer of another teleport starting when the swirling ribbon of purple glowing arcane glyphs once again shot from Essek’s direction to encircle the slipping Marilith. This time the ribbon of magic didn’t shatter and held true the Counterspell taking hold as the weight of the ape dragged her down arms flailing two of which dropped their weapons to grasp at the walkway.

Immediately the figures were upon it the swarm of brightly colored glowing creatures charging whatever parts of the demon they could get at as the young woman, dodging swings of the arms still holding weapons, rained down blows in quick lunging strikes. One of the figures brought a massive sword down to pin the Marilith to the walkway between its first shoulder and its neck. A voice yelling, “Now, Fjord.”

The second smaller sword bearing figure swung, their blade faintly glowing a verdant green, towards the Marilith’s head connecting with a searingly painful burst of bright light that left Verin blinking back after images and a thunderous boom. The Demon toppled backwards falling off the wall causing the ape dodge the plummeting body. The ape’s form began twist, shrink, and distort until a human man with hair the same burnished copper color of the ape’s fur stood in its place.

“Oy! Caleb, Essek either one of you got a way to get us down? And Jessie wants to know if she’s good to open the gates. Things are mostly cle…Oh shit,” the woman’s voice trailed off as the sound of the remaining Aurora Watch members holding the gate start barking orders orders behind them. Turning to see what the commotion was he could see seven figures that looked like female Drow standing in a circle as glowing lines started to run between them forming an arcane circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, C*ape*leb, literally saw Essek potentially in danger and decided to rescue him and kind of caught Verin up at the same time unintentionally while Fjord and Yasha hitched a ride. Also the only reason the Marilith fight went as well as it did was that it was at disadvantage due to terrain. Also author's liberties. I promise we will get to the fluffy and funny reveals soon there's just one more chapter of seriousness between us and it at least that is the plan. My word counts/chapter estimates have a habit of getting away from me.


	4. Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb is great at ignoring his feelings especially when there's other things like demons to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter fought me and I'm still not entirely happy with it but this is as good as it was going to get. Hopefully you enjoy this as what I thought was going to be a four chapter story just grew infinitely longer. Also I'm 90% sure that I fudged a lot of stuff mechanics-wise for actual D&D but like the DMG says that it is merely a guideline for the DM and not an absolute rule book so too is actual game mechanics for writers.

It was the way Beauregard’s voice trailed off after the expletive that caught his scattered attention, mind moving slower than it usually did after a transformation given the fact that it had been bounced back between the overcrowded thought space of a human and the simplified reactional and instinct driven one of an animal twice in close succession. Following her line of sight he saw seven figures resembling female Drow and the forming arcane circle underneath them; something about the way it was forming was setting off alarm bells in his head but his mind was struggling to catch up. For a moment it seemed as if everyone had frozen like a theater scene change tableau unsure as to what was going on. Glancing above him on the wall he could see Beau tense as the Holy Weapon cast on her hands began fading and the way Fjord and Yasha seemed to be searching for a safe way down the high stone walls. Casting his gaze a little further out from him he could see the figure of Essek and the Echo Knight that Essek had sought out both with eyes wide and dread on their faces. Caleb was studiously ignoring the reaction his giant ape mind had to the sight of Essek in danger and all that it implied, as well as the complicated curl of emotion that seeing Frumpkin curled about Essek’s neck was having on him currently. _Frumpkin…schiesse, that circle…_ he thought as his mind finally clicked into place what it was the septet was trying to accomplish. 

“It’s a summoning circle,” He yelled at the same time Essek shouted, “Don’t let the circle complete, it’s a summons.”

Immediately the ballistae started firing again and the group of Dynasty soldiers seemed to swell as the number of individuals doubled misty grey forms weaving in and out of the group that began to press forwards towards the figures. Heavy barbed bolts rained down two at a time from different angles the first volley finding purchase in the bodies of two of the figures which promptly lost their resemblance to Drow and took on the appearance of roughly human sized animated pillars of melted wax. The forming circle blazed with light as it completed, the two injured demons vanishing with a mist of red light like a spray of blood. The circle glowed brighter, and Caleb could see the misty grey form of an Echo take off a dead sprint towards the closest figure and ghosting along a foot or two behind it a solid black shadow the silhouette clearly showing the distinctive pauldrons of Essek’s mantle. He could hear the gates creaking open presumably to let a spill of reinforcements through, even as the black shadow raised a hand causing one of the figures to be yanked back off its point of the circle in a twisted crumpled heap before the echo dissipated. 

_What do I have available? I’ve got one more polymorph but I’d better save it, just in case. Everything so far has been resistant fire and magic which limits my options terribly._ He hadn’t seen Veth since that first dive into the fray but he had no doubt that she was near, very likely on or near the wall. The sound of a tolling bell rang out signaling that one of their clerics, most probably Jester, had joined the spill of reinforcements coming through the gate. Even with three of the demons gone the circle still burned with power and the air above the center was beginning to pulse and tear. A glance backwards revealed that Essek had already cast Feather Fall or a similar spell to allow Beau, Fjord, and Yasha to get down. At this point he doubted that even the Dispel Magic pulse of the Magician’s Judge would stop whatever they had summoned from coming through, still he had no other ideas.

The circle pulsed one more time and the remaining demons in the circle vanished in the same mist of red light as the air above the circle began to tear releasing the fetid stench of old blood, decay, and sulfur. Large hands, placed lower than expected, gripped the edges of the tear pulling it wider. Another larger set of arms attached to even broader shoulders started to force their way through the tear, that was being held open by the smaller pair, revealing a head that seemed to be mostly mouth and far too large teeth set below beady black eyes. The hair on the back of Caleb’s neck stood up and the primitive, primal part of his brain (still closer to the forefront of his mind than he would like from his recent Polymorphs) started to gibber in terror as the huge demon forced the rest of its body through the tear and the gaping, slavering maw complete with fanged teeth and tongue in the creature’s abdomen framed by spider like pincer mandibles was revealed. It let out guttural scream of abyssal that raked claws of pain across his ears. 

The scream seemed to be the trigger as the Dynasty soldiers swung into motion echoes surging forwards to try and pin it in a phalanx maneuver and the ballistae continued to rain down barbed bolts. One of those bolts managed to hit and tear through one of the things wings causing another ear bleeding cry. He could hear the whistling of regular arrows and bolts being fired from the walls though they didn’t seem to be doing much if any damage. A tell-tale shimmer began to course over the demon’s body as its form began to warp and shiver in the manner of a teleport. _Fick mich!_ He thought even as his hands began rapidly flying through the somatic components of a Counterspell completing it just a hairsbreadth before the teleport finished. A glowing ribbon of arcane glyphs spilled from his hands to wrap around the demon and he could feel the spell strain, fray, and then hold as the teleport failed. The world began to narrow down to the creature and its immediate surroundings, the intense clarity and focus that he had learned at much too high a price settling over his mind. _It’s strong, but not necessarily fast,_ he noted as the demon’s lower set of arms and mandibles worked together to grab and throw whatever echoes it could reach into the mouth in its abdomen. _If I cast haste on Beauregard she might be able to close on it enough to hit without getting grabbed. Though it appears that most physical damage is not as effective as it should be._

Still casting Haste on Beau would at least give her a shot, though he should probably also re-cast Fortune’s Favor on their frontline fighters. The desperate fight towards the gates while they were following Essek (mostly because Beau was hesitant to let him out of her sight and partially the instinct to protect the squishiest members of their group, as Jester said, had carried over from Caleb to include him) had been harder than expected and he was sure that the small spark of possibility that the spell granted had already been used. _Fortune’s Favor first, then Haste,_ he decided hands already deftly locating the pearl in its component pocket in his coat. Turning back towards his friends he saw that Essek had also fished out his own pearl and was in the process of pressing it to the Echo Knight’s forehead. It seemed that they had both come to the same conclusion then. 

The tolling bell sound of Jester’s, presumably, Toll the Dead rang out again followed by the bright, glittering, beetle green flash of Caduceus’s Guiding Bolt streaking overhead. Making his way towards Fjord, Yasha, and Beau he caught just a glimpse of their cleric’s silhouettes standing on the crest of the wall. After that it was a blur of pressing the pearl to his friend’s foreheads and casting. To the point where he barely registered that a pearl was being pressed to his own forehead and that he was pressing his to Essek’s. Worried gold eyes met his as he felt the mote of possibility flare and settle over him. Sparing a brief nod, _stay safe with him my friend_ , Caleb thought to Frumpkin receiving a verbal chatter of assent he fished out the licorice root and clamped it between his teeth. The vibrating energy of the spell coursing down his arm and flowing into Beau as he reached out tapping her shoulder as she ran past. 

_All right back in the game,_ he told himself turning his attention back to the demon. Fire was out, that he knew, and most likely lightning and acid as well. It would pay to be more conservative with magic currently though looking at Essek and seeing that he had already summoned another Resonant Echo that might also be a good idea. Moving closer to bring himself to the edge of the spell range he released a volley of Magic Missiles watching them impact with flare causing the thing to grunt. His volley was followed shortly by three verdant flashes of energy slamming into it causing it stagger slightly its skin bubbled and melted slightly as if it had been burned. _Good to know, magical damage is fine; but, non-magical physical damage from weapons is less than effective and it’s resistant to any magical effects that are not strictly damage._

Running the calculations in his head he took a chance even as it seemed Jester picked up the vein as the glittery pink streak of energy that was her guiding bolt slammed into it causing its body to shine with a soft pink glow. That attack in particular caused it to let out another enraged scream and a few of the physical non-echo fighters broke rank and started running away. Battle axes that had been affixed to its back now rested in the larger upper set of hands and were laying waste to the echoes harrying it from each side. Beau’s lithe form was darting in under its wings to try and land a hit then darting out of range of its arms. _Even if it manages to shrug it off it will be distracted for a moment, which could be crucial,_ he thought as his hands wove through the somatic components for Banishment. 

He could feel it resist, resist, and then the spell broke. _Scheisse!_ His frustration didn’t last for long as he heard Essek, voice somehow carrying over the din, “Get back out of range!”

The remaining Echo Knights fell back as did Fjord, Beau, and Yasha (when had Fjord and Yasha moved into the fray?) as an enormous pull began to drag the demon back until it was almost immobile.

“I can only hold it for a minute, so hit it with everything you have!” Once again Essek’s voice seemed to carry over the chaos ensuring that everyone on the field heard him. A second later a familiar deep green shimmer so dark it was almost black scattered over its body. _Caduceus must have_ _come down from the wall then_ , he thought. The borderline necrotic energy that Caduceus could summon to briefly curse a foe was just the opening everyone needed. The ballistae started aiming for its torso instead of the wings, the green flashes of Fjord’s Eldritch Blast coming in rapid succession. _It’s now or never,_ Caleb told himself as he let the Disintegrate he had been saving fly. He watched as crackling ray of energy punched through the mouth in its torso. It wavered but stayed standing. They only had a few seconds more before whatever spell Essek had cast ended and it was still standing though rather worse for the wear. He had almost burned through his energy reserves with that last spell, he hadn’t prepared Web today unfortunately and that might have given them another shot at immobilizing it. A familiar brush of magic along his senses preceded a whisper in his head.

“Do you have catapult prepared? We’re going to try Fluffernutter again. You can respond to this message,”Veth’s voice still sounded strange to him without the rasping and screechy overtones her voice had as goblin.

“Ja, I do, but I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he muttered back, he still couldn’t see her but Veth was probably with Jester if she was trying to implement Fluffernutter yet again. Most likely using the small cask of black powder that they had shoved into Jester’s haversack to make the fireworks for TravelerCon.

“Well we’re running out of other options, desperate times call for explosive measures,” her retort brought a small smile to his face as he reluctantly agreed, “It’s worth a shot, I suppose.”

A tug at his coat let him know that Veth was there her form shimmering into existence as the Invisibility spell ended. Under one arm was the cask of black powder glowing brightly, it appeared that a cleric had cast Holy Weapon on it. _Well that might just work._ Internally praying that the Catapult didn’t cause the cask to explode before Veth could attempt to hit it with the explosive bolt he started to run through the somatic components for Catapult nodding to Veth who tossed the cask into the air just as he completed the Catapult spell. Immediately the cask was flung towards the demon (which had just broken loose from Essek’s spell) with a crack and he could see that the wood had splintered slightly from where the spell had caught and launched it. An explosive crossbow bolt whistled through the air hot on its heels making contact with the cask of powder right as it was caught by the thing’s pincer mandibles.

The resulting detonation was blinding and sent a slight shockwave through the air. It appeared most of the shrapnel from the blast had found its purchase in the soft tissues of that gaping torso mouth. The Demon gave one last guttering scream of Abyssal before it swayed and crashed to the ground. All around a relieved cheer went up from the fighters and Caleb caught sight of Jester charging towards Beau, Fjord, and Yasha as well as Essek moving towards the Echo Knight that he had been so insistent on shadowing since they had arrived in the alleyway to utter chaos. If he couldn’t see the way the other wizard’s feet moved along the ground he would almost swear that he was using his floating spell again, it was the fastest he had ever seen Essek move. _That individual must be very important to him,_ the thought was accompanied by another complicated curl of emotion that he resolutely did not want to examine now, if ever.

“Well, my friend shall we join them? Also just a question did you think about how Fjord will react when he realizes that you used the good powder to attempt to pull off Fluffernutter again?” He had to suppress a chuckle at the mulish look that crossed Veth’s face at his question. 

“If he didn’t want me to use it for this then he should have let me use it against the Dragon Turtle or the Swavain Basilisk.” Her stubborn response was so familiar and welcome that for a brief moment everything seemed right once again like before things had become complicated. Still they started moving towards the tight knot of their friends making sure that everyone was okay and that they didn’t have any major wounds that needed to be patched up.

“If you say so, mein freund,” it may have been a selfish thought but he was glad that Essek had come to them for help. It felt like a step in the right direction to him but he knew his own bias on this was severely skewed. It still felt like a breath of hope and he refused to let that go, even if it put him at odds with the others. _Time for that later_ , he told himself as they reached the knot of their friends and Beau, Jester, and Caduceus began to check the two of them over to make sure they weren’t hiding any injuries. They were alive, they had won, and that was all that mattered right now; everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The demon that the Yochlol's summoned is a demon from 3.5e actually that 5e got rid of called the Klurichir. It was the single scariest non-named/generic demon in 3.5e. I found a home version of it for 5e (https://www.enworld.org/attachments/ad-d_klurichir-jpg.82359/) which is what I used for its abilities.


	5. Jester/Verin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jester figures out some entertaining information, Verin finally meets his brother's friends, and things go to hell in a hand basket very fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is quite a bit later than expected partially because due to things picking up at work I no longer have the spare time to write at work and I ended up running into the same issue that I have with my other fic Through Seas of Stars in that I struggle to write at home. Also because I have ended up re-writing parts of this chapter upwards of four times and I'm still not quite happy with it. As in this chapter is equal-parts "it's good enough" and "fuck it".

“Ow…quite poking at it!” Beau growled at her as she held the edges of the nasty gash closed long enough for Caduceus’s Prayer of Healing to finish sealing it closed. 

“Then don’t get hurt next time,” Jester retorted back, this was always the part of the fight she liked the least, the aftermath and the necessary healing that came with it. She hated seeing her friends in pain and hated the fact that she often had to put her friends through more pain in order to heal them. Beau’s grumblings tapered off and looking down she saw that the edges had finally sealed together leaving yet another paper thin scar on her friend’s torso. Thankfully this time they had gotten lucky and most of her friends’ injuries were superficial at best, Beau having gotten the worst of the lot with an unlucky swipe of that huge demon’s axe. Glancing around she caught sight of Essek and the Echo Knight that he had all but torn after as soon as they had left alley way that that they had teleported into. 

_I wonder who he is? Ooooh maybe he’s Essek’s boyfriend! But wait he told us he was single before…_ Jester was resolutely ignoring the small niggling feeling that he could have been lying about that as he had so many other things. _Maybe he’s an ex-lover that broke his heart and Essek never got over it. So when he heard that they were under attack he rushed to aid him._ That had to be the case and if it wasn’t then she would draw it as such in her sketchbook for the Traveler to see... Jester felt her heart drop a little bit as she remembered how complicated things with him had become since TravelerCon; but, she would make the best of it she always did after all. Essek and the Echo Knight had finally moved close enough that she could get a clearer look at the other Drow. He had the same charcoal grey skin with violet and indigo undertones that was common among the Drow of Xhorhas and she thought that under the drying blood, ichor, and other guck that was splattered in his hair that it was the common shade of silvery white.

Even from this distance she could tell that it was cut similarly to Beau’s and then Sylvan braided all the way down. _That would be a pretty style on Beau, I wonder if she’d let me do her hair that way the next time she asks me to secure the circlet for her._ If she wasn’t mistaken he was taller than Essek by a good few inches and was considerably broader in the shoulders though how much of that was armor and how much was his actual shoulders Jester couldn’t be sure. Maybe she would ask Beau or Caleb later when she was sketching him, they were much better at figuring those sorts of things out at a glance than she was. Actually if she thought about it he was built rather similarly to how Molly had been, lean muscle that was almost better suited to a dancer than a fighter. The two of them walked up to the edge of the group and she could see Essek doing that weird hovering but not quite hovering thing he had done on the boat during the peace talks (not actually floating, of course, but more like how Frumpkin sometimes acted after getting kicked into oblivion by jerks) like he was afraid they were going to send him away. She could feel the tension starting to build as Beau and Veth caught sight of them and their hostility started to bleed into the others. Essek looked even more nervous than before when he picked up on the changing mood and she caught his friend darting wary glances between them and Essek.

 _Oooh he’s handsome,_ she couldn’t help noticing now that she could actually get a good look at his face. His eyes were a very soft shade of grey that if she looked closely enough she was sure she’d find a ring of pale blue around the pupil giving the impression that they were actually silver. Similar to the way there was a very light ring of white-grey around Essek’s pupils making the pale yellow of his irises appear metallic gold. Now that she was looking between both of them she could see that even though Essek’s bone structure was far more delicate than his companion’s, a little less angular, they had the same nose and eye shape. In fact the closer she looked the more similarities she could see. It hit her right as the tension started to get unbearable as each party waited for the other start speaking. Jester could feel her tail swishing excitedly beneath the petticoats of her skirt as a grin burst forth on her face.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had an older brother, Essek?” Her gleeful exclamation broke the the tense silence. 

“Brother?!” “What?!” Beau and Veth’s simultaneous yelps almost drowned out the sound of Essek’s exasperated groan muffled by the hand covering his face and his brother’s laughter. 

“Do you want to tell them or should I?” That tone of voice was also reminiscent of Molly and not for the first time she wished that the other tiefling was still with them. He would have gotten such a kick out of this whole situation. She watched as Essek vaguely gestured for his brother to continue the introduction without removing the hand currently covering his face. The gleeful grin that the other shot him in return told her that this was going to be good. 

“Actually Essek is my older brother, Verin Thelyss Bazzoxan’s TaskHand at your service. It’s nice to finally meet my brother’s friends,” There was a slight edge to his voice when he said friends and it made her frown just a bit. Obviously he hadn’t missed Beau and Veth’s hostility towards Essek and that wasn’t fair, not all of them were angry at Essek. At least not anymore, she was sure Caleb, at least, wasn’t if the way he had loaned Frumpkin to Essek almost since the moment he had set foot on the boat was any indication. Also she was pretty sure that Caduceus had forgiven Essek the night that they interrogated him. Besides those pastries that he had gotten her were so much better than the ones he had served in his tower. Like even the chocolate cinnamon roll things were good, Beau and Caleb agreed and they didn’t generally like the pastries she usually shared with them, and if she wanted more then they needed to keep being friends with Essek. So when she saw Beau and Veth start to protest being called Essek’s friend she casually rushed forward making sure to “accidentally” jostle both of them in her haste to introduce herself to Verin. If Essek still thought of them as friends then she wasn’t going to let anyone disabuse him of that notion. Jester knew what it meant to be so lonely that you’d do anything to kill that feeling, she had been lucky and Artagan had found her. Somehow Jester didn’t think that Essek had been so lucky, especially given that he’d gotten to the point where he had convinced himself that he didn’t care.

“Hi, I’m Jester. Essek, why didn’t you ever tell us you had a little brother? He’s pre-e-tty handsome, were you afraid that we’d like him better than you? Don’t worry you’re still our favorite,” Jester reveled in the dazed look that crossed over Verin’s face and the small smile she could see quirking up Essek’s lips behind the hand he still had over his face. Though he was starting to peek around his fingers to see their reactions now which was progress. 

“I never told you because you never asked. I don’t make a habit of volunteering information about myself or my Den. That’s a dangerous thing to do when one is involved with politics, there are always many enemies just looking for an advantage over you.” _That’s a sad way to live,_ she thought even though it made sense to her a little bit. She wasn’t completely blind to the politics that went on around them, like even though embarrassing Foreman Bodo had been a fun job she knew it was part of a bigger power play with larger overreaching consequences. She had seen and heard enough growing up observing and eavesdropping on her mother’s clients, however; she made sure that everyone else thought she was as oblivious to them as she acted. Honestly politics were boring and tedious and always seemed to make people miserable and the one time that she fell afoul of them she’d had to leave Nicodranus for fear of her life. It was better to throw all that silly posturing out the window and focus on laughing at life, taking yourself too seriously only made people sad, at least it did in her observations.

“I take it you’re the reason why my shut in older brother actually offered to brave our mother’s wrath to teleport me back here in exchange for me showing him where to get decent pastries because he has no sweet tooth whatsoever?” The edge that had been in Verin’s voice was gone replaced with a warm mirth that made Jester’s own smile widen. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Beau’s eyes narrow whether it was at the tone of Verin’s voice or something he said she couldn’t be sure. 

“That would be me, you aren’t kidding about him not having a sweet tooth. No offense Essek but they were re-ally bland, but thank you for helping him pick out awesome pastries they were super good. Remind me the next time we’re in Nicodranus to get you some Bear Claws you’ll like them, they’re made with cinnamon,” keep talking fast and baffle them with bullshit as Molly had said. The longer she could keep Beau and Veth from taking their suspicion out on Essek, and Verin by association, the better it would be for them all.

“So you liked the pastries? I didn’t get a chance to ask before on the ship.” Essek’s question was quiet and hesitant and it made her heart hurt to hear that he still didn’t believe her even after she had thanked him the last time she had cast Sending to speak with him….which had been a while ago…. No wonder he looked so sad and lonely. She watched as he crossed his arms, palms cupping both elbows almost in a sad imitation of a hug, waiting for her to answer. 

“Oh Essek, I loved them! They were s-u-uper good and you’re going to have to show me where you got them, because I. Need. To. Get. More!” she cheerfully warbled bouncing away from Verin to catch Essek up in a tight hug. It was different hugging him when he wasn’t floating they were closer to the same height for one thing though she was just a tiny bit taller and he didn’t sway as much under the force of the hug. As always he froze stiff in her grasp hands fluttering at his sides as if he didn’t know quite what he should be doing with them.

“Jess how about you let Essek breathe and let the man go. I’m Fjord, nice to meet you. Now I know this might be rude to ask but you look like you’re both fairly close in age, are you twins?” _Ooo I hadn’t thought about that! But they don’t look alike, I thought twins always looked alike._ Letting Essek go in her excitement over the idea she almost didn’t catch the small smile that he gave her.

“How could they be twins? They look nothing alike. He’s taller and they have different colored eyes. Which if he’s younger shouldn’t he be shorter than you?” Veth’s belligerently exclaimed question at least wasn’t hostile and she counted that a win. Glancing over her shoulder Jester could see Caleb shaking his head fondly at Veth’s outburst.

“You know there are twins that aren’t identical, spatz. They’re called fraternal twins and sometimes they can even be male and female it’s not uncommon. Also age doesn’t determine who is taller it may simply be that one physically takes after one parent more strongly than the other,” Huh, she hadn’t known that. _What’s the point of having a twin if you aren’t identical and can’t swap places with them or totally convince other people that you could be in two places at once without magic? Also that would suck to be the older brother and be mistaken for being younger because you’re short. Maybe that’s why Essek floats all the time!_

“Are you sure Caleb? That sounds made up, everyone knows twins are identical. Also older brothers are always taller mine certainly were.” A quiet muffled chuckle behind her caught her attention and turning back to Essek and his brother she could see that Essek had raised a hand to conceal his mouth and was clearly suppressing laughter at his brother’s wide eyed confusion at the whiplash change of conversation that was going on.

“Mr. Caleb is correct not all twins are identical,” Caduceus’ low rumbling voice joined the conversation weighing on Caleb’s side. “In fact fraternal twins are more common in nature with very rare exceptions. Also I do believe that half the reason why Colton kept trying to make me balance tombstones on my head when I was younger was an attempt to make sure that I didn’t end up taller than him.”

“How’d that end up working out for him there, ‘Dueces?” Beau chimed in a knowing smirk on her face. Before he got the chance to answer Fjord groaned and said, “Guys can we please get back on topic? Sorry about that, I just meant to say that Essek has, uh, helped us out a lot since we arrived in Xhorhas and that we greatly appreciate all that he’s done for us.”

**********

Verin supposed that he should be offended by the way that they had seemingly forgotten that both he and Essek were standing right next to them; but, there was something charmingly chaotic about it all and he couldn’t find it in himself to begrudge them that. Even though Fjord’s initial question had caught him entirely off guard (almost as much as seeing Jester manhandle his notoriously touch-adverse brother into a full body contact hug that nearly lifted him off of his feet had) it was a refreshing change from the politely condescending questions that he usually received when individuals associated with the Noble Dens and the Bright Court realized how young he was by their standards not mention only on his first life. Before he was able to say anything (whether it was to answer Fjord’s previous question or simply to impress upon them just how much personal risk Essek had put himself in aiding them as openly as he had Verin wasn’t sure) the wizard, Caleb if he was correctly keeping track of the names of the individuals that had yet to introduce themselves, spoke up.

“Ahh Yes, we wouldn’t have accomplished much of what we have recently without his assistance,” these accented words were accompanied by a weighty look at the Halfling woman he had called spatz. _A nickname or endearment of some sort I would guess. Not actually her name._ She seemed slightly less hostile than when he and Essek approached but he still wasn’t about to leave her or the woman in blue alone with his brother. Essek’s voice startled him out of his thoughts.

“You would have figured it out without my help,” the words were murmured, just loud enough to be heard, and far more fond than he had ever heard from his sibling in the past. Eyes darting quickly to his brother he caught sight of a fleeting smile directed at the other wizard. _Oh…Oh….The guest room was for him._ Verin could feel his eyes widen in shock and a small amount horror as he realized that this meant that Essek was in fact actually attracted to someone. Quickly smoothing the shock from his face out of habit, he took a more scrutinizing look at the other wizard. From what was obviously his familiar curled possessively around Essek’s neck and shoulders to the fact that Caleb’s hair was only a few shades darker than the copper accents his brother had added to the guestroom; the more he looked, the more obvious it became to him. Making a mental note to attempt to have a very frank discussion with his elder brother at the first private opportunity Verin realized that, sudden jarring realizations about his brother’s private life not withstanding, he still had yet to answer Fjord’s questions.

“Well I’m glad to hear that you appreciate the considerable risks my brother has taken on your behalf,” the statement was more pointed than was probably polite but he disliked the look the woman in blue was leveling at Essek. Her gaze swung off of his brother to meet his a belligerent challenge blazing in her blue eyes. Before she had the chance to fire back at him he continued answering the question that Fjord had posed earlier, “To answer your earlier question Essek is twenty years older than I am.”

He could see the shocked expressions that flickered across most of their faces, and he supposed that it could be considered shocking for his sibling and him to be so close in age let alone hold the high ranking positions that they did. Only the fact that he returned to meeting the woman’s gaze allowed him to see the strange discomfited look that fleetingly showed on her face before she spoke.

“That’s quite the age gap,” the words threw him for a loop even as Verin noted the odd note in her voice matching the earlier look. _What age gap? That’s hardly any gap at all. Then again their lifespans are drastically shorter than ours and two decades might be considered a larger than normal gap between siblings._ Still he felt compelled explain if only to explain how unusual it was for he and Essek to be so close in age.

“Not really, elves physically mature at a much slower rate than other races. I’m not sure what the equivalent developmental age for humans would be. Essek do you know?” Glancing back towards his brother, Verin watched as he caught the barest edge of his bottom lip with his teeth and his fingers twitched as if writing invisible calculations. It was amusing how expressive his sibling was when he was lost in his head doing calculations for something. For the longest time it had been the only time that Essek showed any expressions beyond his masks at all.

“It’s a roughly five to one conversion so I would have been approximately the developmental equivalent of a human four year old when Verin was born. It’s actually more unusual that we were born so close together.” Essek’s response was matter of fact and gave no indication that he felt any unease at all for revealing just how young they were by their people’s standards. Which was an amazing amount of trust that his brother put in these people. The still unnamed young woman looked thoughtful before a sour expression crossed her face which was puzzling but he was not familiar enough with her to ask about it. Never the less, even if things were still slightly fraught between them and his sibling, they had still come and offered much needed aid and he still had yet to thank them for that. Though he supposed that he could be forgiven for that breach of etiquette given that they had only recently come off a battle field and had gotten significantly sidetracked. Still that was no excuse to let that breach go on longer than necessary.

“Ah, forgive my manners, I wanted to say thank you for coming to mine and my peoples’ aid. You certainly did not have to and yet did so anyway at my brother’s request and for that you have my gratitude. I’m afraid that I did not catch all of your names though,” internally wincing at how out of place the formal thanks was in light of the previous irreverent conversations; but, they were truly a bit distracting in that particular regard.

“Oh, shit. Sorry…We tend to be bad about that at times. Beauregard Lionette, Expositor of the Cobalt Soul,” the young woman said in a tone that sounded almost like a challenge. _So that is Beauregard, I can see why Essek hoped that she and Direina never meet. Wait a minute…Expositor?_ He had thought that they were essentially ex-pats of the Empire but that title sounded as if she still held strong political ties to the Empire. A thread of unease and alarm ran through him as he glanced Essek’s way only to find him entirely unconcerned by that revelation. Which meant that it wasn’t a new revelation and she had been deemed not to be a threat to the Dynasty. After all determining and ferreting out threats to the Dynasty’s security was his brother’s job, so Verin decided to trust his judgment no matter how counter-intuitive it felt.

“Sorry we tend to be an…excitable bunch. Caduceus Clay,” the unusually colorful Firbolg said holding out a large long fingered hand the placid smile on his face almost distracting from the far too knowing gaze that accompanied it. One by one the others introduced themselves. Veth Brenatto (the Halfling woman), Caleb Widogast (he had been tracking the other wizard’s name correctly at least), and Yasha the tall imposing woman whose war paint, clothing, and hair style echoed the nomadic tribes of the Iothia Moorlands to the south of Xhorhas’ wastes. He had thought that there had been a Goblin among their number but rumors were unreliable sources of information at best and outlandish lies at worst. Not for the first time he silently cursed Essek for not describing or even giving more than the barest information regarding this motley group that he had somehow come to call friends. He was having trouble trying to figure out who to address and how especially given that a few of their number were as prickly as his second in command’s wife when a tall figure carrying a familiar halberd approached the group.

“Taskhand, the abyssal hordes have been eradicated and the garrisons are starting clean up efforts and taking casualty counts. Do you have any further orders for the units?” Honor’s voice broke the awkward lull in their conversation once again coming to his aid when he was completely out if his depth. And for all that the her words brought a familiar pooling of dread in his stomach it was lessened mildly, in an amusing way, when a few of Essek’s friends jumped at her words not having noticed her approach. Though he could have done without seeing the awestruck and infatuated expression that Beauregard shot his second in command upon seeing her. _Far too much like Direina for my own piece of mind indeed. The last thing I need is for them to meet they would either get on a like a house on fire or they would try to murder each other and that’s not something I want to deal with._

“You’re so pretty, almost as pretty as my mama. What’s your name? Are there any more pretty Tieflings here like you? What's your job? Oooh are the two of you married?” Jester’s exuberant torrent of questions burst into the air before he had a chance to say anything and suddenly he had a small inkling of why Essek had not told him anything about his friends in advance. The stunned, flattered, and slightly confused wide-eyed expression that Honor shot him in response to the outburst was one of the most amusing things he’d ever seen, given how generally unflappable she was. _No wonder Essek laughed at me earlier if I looked anything like that._ Still she didn’t answer Jester shooting him a questioning look clearly asking silently whether or not he trusted his brother’s friends to speak frankly. A questioning look that he in turn directed towards Essek.

“I trust them with my life, so use your best judgement,” there was a smugly amused tone to his voice that normally would have set the sensation of bristling hair on the back of his neck in irritation but in this case only brought a sense of awe. That spoke to just how deeply Essek trusted these colorful people that he called friends. After all there were individuals within their own den that his brother would trust with Dynasty’s secrets and security but not his life. Exchanging a glance with his second in command he gave a brief nod far be it from him to tell her what she should and should not answer if she wanted.

“I’m Honor Icozorin, Deputy Commander for Bazzoxan’s forces and no Taskhand Thelyss and I are not married. My wife would murder him in his sleep if she thought he was trying to poach, so to speak,” It was an old joke that Verin highly doubted was actually a joke given Direina’s temperament. Seeing Jester’s eyes light up at the mention of Honor’s wife he opened his mouth to say something to head off the next torrent of questions when his second in command once again managed to beat him to the punch.

“Whichever one of you was responsible for stabilizing many of our casualties thank you. You’ve saved at least forty lives today, if it would not be too much trouble would you be willing to lend more aid and see if we could save more?” _Forty, at least forty of my people saved that’s no small number,_ he was going to need to thank the Luxon everyday for at least a fortnight for Essek’s friends, for the fact that he had thought to apologize that night.

“We’re a bit tapped but we’d be happy to help if we’re able and have the materials,” the Firbolg, Caduceus, replied gently the smile on his face taking a solemn turn.

“Yes, yes, we’d love to help; but, tell me about your wife what’s she like? Will we get to meet her?” Jester chimed in impatiently. Exchanging a rueful glance with his brother, who seemed more or less resigned to the invasive questions though there was a marked note of amusement in his gaze.

“Most likely, given the fact that she runs the…” The heavy ker-shunk sound of a ballista bolt being fired interrupted her words. _Who would be firing?! There’s no targets, the fight is over._ Turning his eyes towards Honor in alarm hoping to see if she knew what was going on he could only stare in mute horror at the heavy barbed head of the ballista bolt sticking eighteen inches out of her chest. _No! No! You’re not allowed to fall here, not while I still breathe. Hold on…_ Stumbling forward to catch her crumpling form, he looked back towards the direction of the ballistae towers only to see a feminine Drow form resting her hand on the shoulder of a Drow with close-cropped pale blue hair. _There was an eighth Yochlol, of course there was an eighth…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Verin basically pulled the "I know my brother is an asshole who probably one hundred percent deserves it; but, he is also my asshole brother and I don't like the way you're looking at him." Also did you really think I would go out of my way to specifically mention the bag full of diamonds and not find a reason for them to be a major plot point? That being said I am also three kittens worth of fluff masquerading as person in a trenchcoat, so hopefully that reassures you a little bit.


	6. Verin/Essek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diamonds are used and emotional fallout happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter makes up for the cliffhanger I left you on last chapter. I did say that I was three kittens worth of fluff masquerading as a person in a trench coat.

Rage burned through him as her body crumpled into his arms, without thought he reflexively summoned his echo, even knowing that the likelihood of it being able to reach the Yochlol was slim to none. The world around him was a blur as his entire focus narrowed down to the demon that had used his best friend’s wife to kill her. A scream of “Eat shit and die!” in Infernal shattering the air as a glittering pink bolt of divine energy streaked past his echo to slam into the Yochlol. Verin could feel a vicious grin carving itself on his face as he saw three verdant streaks of magical energy soaring in the wake of Jester’s Guiding Bolt even as his mind quietly counted down how many seconds had passed. 

_fifty seconds_

_forty-nine_

_forty-eight_

The litany of seconds bringing a desperate urgency and even as he watched Essek throw out a hand with an arcane gesture and then pull it back sharply. For a few moments it appeared nothing happened before the Yochlol was yanked by some unseen force out of the watch tower plummeting towards the ground. His echo was on it in a flash as were the more physically inclined of his brother’s friends.

_Thirty seconds_

_Twenty-nine_

_Twenty-eight_

_Twenty-seven_

Vaguely in the background he could hear the others asking who had the diamonds and his heart soared with hope only to crash as they realized that they had used the ones they had previously and hadn’t had a chance to restock. _No! She cannot die like this!_ Verin wanted to scream and rage against the unfairness of it all. A quiet voice broke through the fog of despair that had started to settle over him. 

“I have diamonds, hopefully this is enough,” glancing up at the sound of Essek’s voice to see him pulling a black bag out of the folds of his tunic, “there should be one hundred and fifty-five platinum worth of diamonds in this bag.” Verin felt the breath leave his chest at the sheer amount of money his brother had spent on diamonds fully intending on using them to revive those that fell here today.

_Fifteen seconds_

_Fourteen_

_Thirteen_

_Twelve_

“That will be plenty,” the low calm voice of Caduceus came from beside him and large grey furred hands entered his field of vision, “let’s get this bolt removed so we can lay her down without doing more damage.” Without thinking, glad for the distraction even as the seconds ticked dangerously down in his mind, he snapped the barbed head off of the bolt leaning her body forwards so that the cleric could slide bolt out.

“Easy now, lay her down gently. That’s it,” The Firbolg’s voice was slow, gentle, and soothing as he instructed Verin to lay Honor’s body flat on the ground for the ritual. A single large diamond was placed on her chest before being covered with Caduceus’s hands.

_Nine seconds_

_Eight_

_Seven_

_Six_

A green glow began to spill from under his palms, while pink and teal lichen started to creep across the breast plate of her armor. _Please, let this be enough. Luxon shine down on us please let this work._

_Four seconds_

_Three_

_Two_

Caduceus lifted his hands as the glow became blinding and the diamond shattered. 

_One_

A choking gasp wet with bloody lungs shook Honor’s torso as her eyes flew open panic and desperation writ clear on her face as she struggled to breathe. Holding her hands as they scrabbled up to grab at her chest Verin watched as the cleric’s hands glowed with a softer version of that bright green glow and the pink and teal lichen expanded out to cover the gaping wound in her chest. As quickly as before the light faded and as it did the lichen began to flake away leaving only punctured breastplate and smooth skin marred only by a purplish grey scar where the bolt had pierced her chest behind.

*********

Breathing a sigh of relief that echoed his brother’s Essek wished that he was wearing his mantle to hide how his hands had started to shake now that the adrenaline fueled focus of the prior battle had started to wear off. He never wanted to see that look of despair on Verin’s face again, nor did he want to think about it gracing any of his friend’s faces either. Truthfully he had existed in dread the night that he had received the Sending from Jester requesting diamonds and had no way of knowing if he would be returning the next morning to find out that he had lost one or more friends forever. The relief he had felt when he had teleported onto the BallEater the next morning to find all of his friends seemingly hale and hearty was something that he couldn’t describe. It was the main reason he had proceeded to cancel and divert three months’ worth of standing spell component orders in order to purchase diamonds so that he would never be in that position again. Even though he knew that it was highly unlikely that they would ever ask him for them again now that they were aware that it was not a spell component that he had regularly stocked before.

“I thought you told Jester that diamonds weren’t a spell component that you regularly stocked,” the suspicious question was expected yes; but, still hurt and it took a greater force of will than he currently thought he had to repress the flinch at resentment simmering in Beauregard’s stare. “That’s an awful lot of diamonds you just handed over.”

“As you said, when Jester not too terribly long ago contacted me asking if I had any diamonds I could spare, and I was forced to admit that I did not have any as it was a component that I did not have much use for and therefore did not regularly have it on hand. There are very few spells that use diamonds as components and it didn’t take much deduction to figure out why the diamonds were needed. I am not ashamed to admit that I existed in a state of anxiety and apprehension until I had confirmation that all of you were alive and well,” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her as he carefully spoke around the fact that the confirmation had been in person and not via Sending just in case Verin was listening in. “I diverted three months’ worth of standing spell component orders to purchase spell grade diamonds just in case you ever asked me for them again. I split them between the study in my tower and my office in the Lucid Bastion so that I wouldn’t need to waste valuable time to retrieve them. Contrary to what you seem to believe Beauregard I never wished any of you harm.”

Essek felt himself unconsciously clenching his hands and bringing them up to clutch at his elbows as Beauregard continued to stare at him coldly. This seemed to be a signal for Frumpkin, or perhaps for Caleb to direct Frumpkin, to climb down from where he was coiled about his neck and shoulders down into the cradle his arms created. Hugging his arms to himself closer in fear of letting the fluffy monkey-shaped familiar fall, Essek glanced away desperate for a reprieve from her stare and in doing so his gaze gaze fell upon the anguished form that had just darted through the empty gate from the direction of the watch tower.

 _Direina!_ A sinking pit began forming in his stomach as he realized what must have happened, his brother’s words from weeks ago echoing in his mind ( _“She’s strong enough that she’s able to aim, load, and fire a ballista on her own, so I’m able to assign the second person usually needed elsewhere.”)_ He couldn’t stop the pained look that stole across his face when she stopped a dozen or so feet from them unable to bring herself to come any closer. Oh he knew how she felt, if it had been himself in her position, if he had been used to bring harm to any of the Mighty Nein (or to Verin now as well) Essek thought he might start running and never stop. Never face them again because he didn’t think that his heart could stand the knowledge that his hands, however unwillingly under normal circumstances, had brought harm (had killed) those that he cared for. (Loved?) After all that was why he had such a hard time facing them now even though he desperately wanted their company.

“What was that look for?” Once again Beauregard’s voice unwelcomingly invaded his thoughts. Apparently his expression gave far too much of his thoughts away. _Well, they would find out in a few minutes anyway_ , he thought sadly.

“The individual that the Yochlol bespelled is Deputy Commander Icozorin’s wife,” taking a shallow breath before continuing, “the look that you questioned was because I contemplated how I would feel if I were in her place and you or well any of the Mighty Nein had been injured or killed.” A complicated look flitted across her face almost too fast for him to catch and her eyes flicked to the side just past his left shoulder. Following her gaze Essek caught sight of Caleb seeming to have a silent conversation with her.

“Does she speak common? I’m afraid that I do not have Tongues prepared today,” Caleb murmured as he moved closer to him holding out his hands for Frumpkin to jump into them.

“I’m not sure if she does or not, why do you ask?” A strangely sad knowing look passed over Caleb’s face as Frumpkin jumped into his arms leaving Essek feeling strangely bereft at the loss. For a moment the other wizard didn’t answer and he felt as if Caleb wouldn’t answer the question when the silence stretched for a few seconds longer than was comfortable.

“There are a couple of us among the Mighty Nein that are intimately familiar with that particular feeling of guilt and between the two of us I am a bit better at talking to people than Yasha is. Also her wounds are still relatively fresh so to speak and I would not ask her rip them open again so soon to spare myself some discomfort.” There was…a lot there to unpack and Essek was honestly a little afraid to ask; however, he did have Tongues prepared and though it would near completely wipe out his reserves he was willing to cast it.

“I have Tongues prepared today if you would like me to cast it on you, if not then I would be happy to play the part of translator,” it was a small offering, one that he was sure would be brushed aside after all he certainly had not earned that trust back.

“Ah, that would be much appreciated on both accounts, Tongues does translate somewhat literally which has caused issues in the past,” Caleb’s words were warm and Essek felt himself starting to relax slightly, enough so that his hand was steady when he reached out to cast the spell.

“Hopefully we can help,” he found himself murmuring in an assent as they started walking towards Direina. The rabbit scared look she directed at them as they drew close to her for a moment caused him to fear that she would run into the wastes before they had a chance to speak.

“Direina,” Essek stopped unsure as how to proceed. _Do I introduce Caleb? Do I let Caleb introduce himself? Should I ask her to come closer to the rest of the group? Why is this so difficult, I can navigate the intricacies and nuances of the Bright Court’s politics but I cannot figure out the proper thing to say in a situation like this it’s maddening._

“Save it, Shadowhand you don’t need to say it I already know,” her angry defensive words took him aback enough that he had no reply, “what kind of cold hearted bitch listens to a damn demon tell them to shoot their wife and thinks it’s a good idea.”

He could see tears streaming down her face as anguish, terror, and rage mingled in her expression. Once again he had no idea what the right way to respond was and it left him feeling anxious.

“The same way that it sounded like a good idea to throw a Fireball at my friends in the enclosed caverns beneath a well when a Succubus told me ‘light them up pretty’, they get into your head and find your worst fear and then make you enact it.” Caleb’s voice was low, calm, and understanding as he spoke. Essek found himself holding his breath hoping that she would understand what his friend was trying to say, even as he tried to shake the image of a blankly smiling Caleb blithely tossing a Fireball into an enclosed space holding his friends.

“You don’t understand, I was me I knew that it was my wife I was aiming at and I still fired that gods-be-damned bolt at her. There wasn’t any hesitation, I knew what she meant to me and yet I still trusted and believed that it had my best interests in mind. What kind of person does that make me?!” Direina almost spit her words in vicious disdain aimed entirely at herself.

“A good person who has suffered a horrible thing, of having your will and mind suborned by another being in the worst and most violating way possible. However your wife will understand that it was not your fault, that it wasn’t you, not truly. After all my friends did, and told me so repeatedly even when I had and still have trouble believing them. But the only way you will know if I am right or wrong is if you talk to her.” It was a brilliantly simple argument, appealing to Direina’s belligerent defensive attitude right now by challenging her to prove Caleb wrong. It was a tactic that if done correctly could possibly be used to prompt prisoners in to give away more information than they intended to and something that Essek would need to keep in mind for the future.

When Direina continued to stare at Caleb balefully refusing to move or say anything in response, he spoke again. “Do you really believe that your wife loves you any less than my friends care about me? If my friends cared about me to the point where they repeatedly reminded me that they didn’t blame me for what happened and even trusted me with my spell components and to cast Leomund’s Tiny Hut for us to keep us safe afterwards, even though I had almost killed Caduceus, do you really think that your wife would understand any less?”

The stubborn look on her face didn’t change and out of the corner of his eye he could see Verin helping Honor to her feet acting as a living crutch. All too soon they would start making their way over toward them and if he was reading Direina correctly (which he wasn’t sure if he was) she would likely try to drive Honor away before she had a chance to say anything. Suddenly he thought of a difficult argument to refute that might get through to her.

“Direina, this is your wife’s fifth life that she’s chosen to serve here in this outpost. Five lifetimes of fighting the denizens of the Abyss, do you really think that she was unaware of what a Yochlol is capable of? Do you believe that she would disregard that knowledge and lay the blame on you? Give her more credit than that, at least give her the chance to prove your fears and doubts wrong.” It wasn’t much but the slight lessening of tension in her frame and the uncertain but thoughtful look on her face felt like a triumph.

“Here why don’t you hold Frumpkin for a bit while we walk back to the others, it really will help you feel better. He’s normally a cat, which is better for cuddling, but this form is almost as good.” A brief twinge of some emotion he couldn’t define lanced through him at the thought of Caleb offering Frumpkin to Direina, but he shook it off after all he had no dominion to tell the other wizard who he could and could not loan his own familiar to. Opening her mouth as if to protest and then seeming to think better of it Direina reached out to take the proffered familiar.

Slowly they made their way back towards the others whom had surprisingly hung back and waited until the three of them started to return before moving towards them. It wasn’t until Verin, supporting a still shaky Honor, came within five feet of them that Essek allowed himself move away in order to give them some privacy. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there apart from the group trying to wrestle his breathing, which had suddenly started speeding up without reason, under control when a hand settled on his shoulder startling him out of daze.

“Thank you, I feel like just saying it isn’t enough but thank you,” his brother’s eyes shone with residual tears and gratitude that made him uncomfortable. For a brief moment he struggled to find something to say that wouldn’t sound disingenuous and finally just settled on reaching up to squeeze Verin’s hand where it rested on his shoulder. The next few moments seemed to blur together as Verin sent Honor and Direina home with orders that Honor was not to report in tomorrow and his friends agreeing to use what little magic they had left to help where they could.

It was as if Essek was enveloped in a fog as he followed behind His brother and his friends. Now that he wasn’t in the middle of combat the streets of Bazzoxan held a surreal kind of horror that he was not prepared for. Dimly he registered that his hands had started to shake again and that he had drifted up into his gravitational field. Everywhere he looked there were bodies or wounded, the smell of blood in the air was so thick that he could taste it. _Is this what battle is always like? Is this what my friends face every time they leave on one of their trips or adventures?_ Those thoughts circled each other in his head leaving him almost deaf and dumb to what was going on around him. Essek was only peripherally aware of his brother handing the bag of diamonds off to one of his people with instructions to distribute them among the clerics; of disengaging the wards briefly on his brother’s manse to allow a stream of staggeringly young group of children and adolescents stream into the street. Even as he vaguely heard Verin call a few back presumably to inform them that they were now orphans.

He desperately wanted to follow his friends into the room Verin provided for them, if only to reassure himself that they were all still here, still unharmed; however, he knew that he wouldn’t be welcome with them right now. Feeling slightly more aware as he took in his brother’s pained and desolate expression it occurred to him that while he might not yet be welcome with his friends his brother needed him more right now. Perhaps that was what they both needed right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the impression that I got from canon is that Essek has never actually been in a full scale battle before and that he doesn't actually leave Rosohna that much outside of his short side jaunts that rarely last very long. So he's going into a bit of emotional shock as the drop from the adrenaline wearing off hits and his mind begins to catch up and process everything that's happened and the aftermath. That being said this story has spun wildly out of my control beyond what I expected it to be and is now currently 44 pages long in WPS Office.


	7. Beau/Verin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau and Veth go spying and the Thelyss brothers have a sibling bonding moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally supposed to be split between Beau and Veth's point of views but Verin decided to hijack the last half of this chapter and honestly I think it's better for it. That being said this chapter was the scene that I had planned from the very beginning of this fic and I'm very pleased with how it turned out. Even if writing from an observational outside perspective without being one of the main interacting characters is surprisingly difficult to write.

Silence that felt like it should have been punctuated by a door slamming shut reigned in the room after Essek and his brother left. Leaving them staring at each other numbly the familiar pall of post battle exhaustion settling into their bones. There was only one bed in the room and they all silently agreed that Jester and Caduceus would get it tonight as they were both almost dead asleep on their feet. They hadn’t bothered to close the door to the room yet still too hyper-aware of every exit and Beau privately thought that Caleb was hoping that Essek would return. Which was a can of worms that she didn’t want to examine but knew that she had to. Too many new pieces to a puzzle that she had been sure she had figured out were creating a new picture and it was maddening. Essek had been off since the battle had ended, silent, almost not there in the way that Caleb was sometimes not there after a too close call with his fire. So many little things that once again didn’t add up. She almost wished he had stayed in the room with them if only so that she could have kept a discerning eye on him. Since he had decided to follow his younger brother (and wasn’t that a surprise that she could have done without) they had no way of knowing what was going on and they were essentially trusting the two of them with their safety tonight.

The thing was she wanted to trust Verin, he seemed to be a good man that cared more about his people’s wellbeing than his own. Privately Beau thought that was probably the reason Essek had been so frantic to get their help on the ship. Still it was adding up into another piece that didn’t fit into the old picture. He had told them during the dinner he had with them that he was not particularly close with anyone in his Den; but, he had also told Jester that he didn’t make a habit of volunteering information about himself or his Den to people. So which was the truth? It was always possible that both were and he hadn’t known how much he cared about his younger brother until he had been faced with the reality of him being in danger. An image of TJ being in danger and just how far she would go to keep him safe if it were within her power flashed through head. It was a possible answer but it didn’t feel quite right. 

_I think a little spying is in order, that would at least give me an idea of what other angle is going on here_ , the thought was a cold one but she didn’t see any other way to set her doubts at ease. Looking up she quietly caught Veth’s eyes and as subtly as possible so as not to tip anyone else off she nodded her head in the direction of the dark hallway just beyond still open doorway. She really didn’t want to wait until the others were asleep or until Essek came back…if he did, which meant that any sneaking out would need to be done while the others were distracted. Veth caught her motion and nodded back almost imperceptibly beginning to move towards the open door. _Well I was hoping for a distraction but two sets of eyes and ears would be better than one,_ she thought. They weren’t going to get away unnoticed but hopefully everyone was too exhausted to make a stink about it. Jester and Caduceus certainly were, if the way they were practically passed out on the bed was any indication. So it went the two of them maneuvering themselves around the room gradually edging closer and closer to the still open doorway. They were nearly to door when Caleb’s voice quietly pierced the silence. 

“I’m not going to stop either of you; but, I will be setting up the Alarm and the dome I think we would all feel better with them in place tonight. Just know that if Essek wants to join us, I will not be the one to turn him away.” It wasn’t the outright refusal that Beau had expected but it also wasn’t a ringing endorsement for what they were about to do either. It was however the most cooperative that Caleb had been with her and Veth in the last several weeks and she would take what she could get. She wanted her awkward not quite older brother back, but more over she wanted him and all her little chosen family safe. Nodding her understanding in return she watched as Veth raced back to give a quick reassurance to him that they would be safe before darting back to Beau’s side. Under the watchful eyes of their family (those of whom were awake anyway) she and Veth slipped out into the dark hallway. There was enough light spilling over into the hallway from Caleb’s dancing lights that they would be able to make their way for bit before things would tricky. 

“Do you want me to make us invisible?” Veth asked for once in a whisper that was actually quiet. _It would be smart just because I haven’t seen any servant or signs of servants doesn’t mean there isn’t any. Also there are the kids that he called back and had stay the night who knows if one of them decides to go wandering. Hell, Verin is the commander here, his subordinates may have permission to just come in and get him if anything happens._

“Yeah that would probably be good,” seconds after she had responded Beau felt the cold wet glass feeling of the Invisibility spell sliding over her skin. Looking down she had a brief feeling of vertigo as her mind processed the fact that while she could feel her feet she couldn’t see them. Not bothering to look for Veth, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see her, she started moving down the hall listening for anything that sounded like talking. “Come on let’s stick close if we can.”

She had hissed the words out as quietly as she could but they seemed impossibly loud in the absence of being visible. Every sound seemed to echo and now that she was comfortable enough to look around it struck her just how bare the manse was. There weren’t a lot of the luxuries and casual displays of wealth that she would have expected for such a nice place. In fact most of the rooms looked like they were missing their doors. It was dark and the farther they edged down the hall away from the spill of light from their room the darker it got. Beau stopped to bring her goggles down over her eyes and felt Veth’s small hand feeling around until she caught the edge of her sleeveless coat-vest. They crept along quietly keeping an ear out until she finally heard the sound of a conversation in Undercommon coming from just ahead and to the right. Inch by inch the two of them snuck closer towards the doorway that the voices were coming from and she noticed that this was another doorway that was missing its door. 

“You should get some rest, this will all still be here in the morning,” that was clearly Essek’s voice and Beau quickly moved to the other side of the door frame to peak into the room holding her breath as she did so. From her vantage point she could see Essek leaning up against a heavy desk that seemed to be one few luxuries in the room along with a lounge style couch that she suspected Verin used more than he did his own bed. It looked like his brother had gone straight from dropping them off to this desk and started in on paperwork as he still wore his armor and had drying gore caked in his hair. At some point it appeared that Essek had at least taken the time to cast Prestidigitation on himself as all of the grime that they had all seemed to pick up from the battle was gone.

“Essek, the casualty reports have to be done; and while the aid that you managed to bring from Rosohna and the luxon-blessed godsend that your friends were means that the casualties that we did take are far less than what I was expecting, I still now have ten orphans that I have to make arrangements for. One of whom I’m not sure that I will be able to.” From her vantage point she could see the way that Verin was massaging the bridge of his nose and the skin around his eyes, a stress headache just beginning to form unless she missed her guess. Glancing towards Essek she caught a grimace of what she thought might be sympathy or possibly frustration flit across his expression and settle. Again his arms were crossed palms cupping his elbows, the same gesture he had used when asking Jester if she had actually like the pastries. It was a tell of that she was certain but what it was a tell for she couldn’t be sure. 

“Not to be a hypocrite but what exactly was it that you told me the other week when I was running myself into the ground trying finish cleaning up the mess that Den Olios essentially dropped in my lap that was threatening to cause renewed infighting between a few different Dens? Something along the lines of and I quote. _Will the war start up again if you don’t provide a solution tonight? No? Is it a matter of life and death, are people’s lives hanging balance weighted on you making a decision within the next couple of hours or so? No? Then rest, and come back to it in the morning with fresh eyes. Your wellbeing is important too._ ” She was desperately interested in what the mess with Den Olios was that Essek mentioned but moreover she struck by the words he had quoted it was a sentiment that she didn’t hear often and suspected that all of her chosen family could stand to hear it told them more. For a second it looked as if Verin was going to protest what were apparently his own words being used against him; however, as she watched, Essek held up a hand that even she could see had a slight tremble to it. _I wonder if that was why he was gripping his elbows, to hide the fact that he was shaking_. 

“If you won’t stop working will you at least take your armor off and let me spell the grime off of you?” Essek’s voice was quiet and she recognized that tone of voice from his most recent interactions with them after the truth had come out. Hesitant and expecting to be rebuffed something about that tone must have caught Verin’s attention as she could see his attention snap towards Essek eyes narrowing in what Beau thought was probably concern.

“Essek, you’re shaking are you all right?” There was a gentleness to the words as if he knew full well that his brother was not okay but was giving him the out to try and salvage his pride anyway. It was the kind of gesture that she recognized from interactions with her ragtag family, offering support but not being pushy with it. _Which is a mark in the column of him having lied to them during the dinner about his closeness to anyone in his Den_ , she thought. Focusing her attention on Essek again Beau could see the way that he was warring with himself over accepting the offered support. It was a familiar battle, one that she had experienced many a time since meeting the Mighty Nein. Finally just as she thought that he was going to lie and tell his brother that he was fine, he looked to the side carefully avoiding Verin’s searching gaze before speaking. 

“Is it always like that? The aftermath I mean,” his voice reminded her of the way he had spoken to them in the Balleater’s hold small, unsure, with an edge of fear. It occurred to her that this was likely Essek’s first real battle. That it was the first time he had been in actual mass combat and not a one on one fight that was over quickly when a prisoner or spy managed to get the drop on him. Suddenly it made sense to her how he had been able to justify to himself that starting a war was an acceptable consequence to getting the information he wanted about the Beacons. It was the same way she had thought that blackmailing two people in a relationship over their individual affairs had sounded like a good idea to get what she had wanted but she hadn’t really understood what the full effect of those consequences was going to be and just how many people were going to get hurt in the fallout. Add in the fact that the revelation that he was roughly her age by his people’s physical (and mental she suspected) maturity standards, well…the new picture that was forming was one that she wasn’t sure she wanted to accept or see. Beau was so lost in this revelation that she nearly missed it when Verin started to speak again.

“I keep forgetting that this was your first battle, to answer your question though; yes, it is. Sometimes it’s worse like when the Laughing Hand and its ilk spilled out from the behind the Umbra Gates several months ago. Our casualties were almost triple what they were today. All in all today we got off lucky.” A cold feeling settled into Beau’s gut and she wanted to glance over to where she knew Veth would be standing on the opposite side of the doorframe. _We released that horror, that was our fault_. The thought beat at her and even though she logically knew that, even if they hadn’t chased Obann, the Laughing Hand would still have been released. It would have been worse, in fact, because they wouldn’t have discovered the connection to the cult of Tharizdun in time nor would they have found the notes that Caleb had managed to figure out the way to give Veth her body back. _That’s the thing,_ she supposed, _we can’t change the past we can only try to leave things better._ Glancing back at the brothers ( _When did I look away from them?_ ) she could see that Verin had gotten up come out from behind the desk to stand next to Essek hand reaching out to rest on his shoulder only to stop at the full body flinch that he gave. It was a reaction that she was familiar with from Caleb and was surprised to see reflected in Essek after all while he didn’t invite touch he also never really flinched from Jester’s full body hugs even if it was clear he didn’t know how to respond to them.

Watching further she saw Verin pull his hand back, a sad tightening to his lips, and begin carefully undoing hidden clasps to remove his breast plate, greaves, and vanbraces. Every now and then she saw Essek’s hands flutter towards him as of to help only to be pulled back to grip his elbows again. Beau was beginning to get an inkling of why he wore the mantle now as his hands gave away his mental state. It made sense every time they had seen him without the mantle (during the dinner at their house and again in his disguise in Nicodranus) he was careful to either keep his hands either occupied holding something or carefully in a position that they couldn’t give him away. Beau didn’t like to think about what it meant that he was so careful about touch and about ruthlessly hiding or suppressing any tells even when among those he counted as friendly if not friends. When the armor was finally removed and stacked on an armor stand that had been hidden from her vantage point by the bulk of the desk Verin turned back to Essek with a rueful smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“It would be nice to at least feel clean again,” those words seemed to be the signal that Essek had been waiting for as she watched his hands flash through the motions for what she presumed was Prestidigitation. It took a couple of passes and she assumed that the amount of gore and grime was just much for the cantrip to clean in just a single pass. Finally when Verin was outwardly clean, at least to her eyes, he stopped with a frown. 

“I think there is still some gore in your hair that I was unable to get because of the braid,” he looked like he wanted to add more to that statement but was afraid or unwilling to ask. Judging by the way Verin’s hands twitched as if to make another attempt to reach out towards his brother Beau guessed that he had seen it too. Walking around the desk to presumably open a drawer, from the sound of it, she watched him reach down and pull out a comb offering it to Essek. 

“Care to help me remove it then? It’s a little hard to do on my own,” she highly doubted that fact and the skeptical look Essek gave his brother told her that he knew that statement was complete bullshit as well. Still he reached out taking the offered comb and motioned for his brother to take a seat on the couch before moving to stand behind him. Beau watched as he undid the tie on the end of the braid and began unraveling it carefully. Even from this angle she could tell that Essek had been right and that the braid had trapped some of the gore as irregular stripes of drying ichor were revealed in the white hair. 

“You could always cut it short, I would think that would be more practical for you anyway.” Essek’s voice was deceptively light almost as if he was referencing an old argument that had long turned into something of a joke.

“And cause the same amount of dramatic lectures and disapproval from mother that you received when you cut yours directly after your consecution? No thank you, even this cut garnered her disapproval though she at least waited to chastise me for it in written form,” There was something in Verin’s voice that caused her to pause, it felt familiar in a way that she didn’t want to acknowledge. 

“That’s fair, I did cause quite the stir with that move though one would think that we’ve moved beyond those old trappings of rank and affiliation. Still enough about inviting the Umavi’s displeasure and disappointment in us, you said you weren’t sure that you would be able to place one of the orphans? Perhaps if you explain the situation I could offer a fresh set of eyes, maybe I will see a solution that you aren’t able to.” The way that Essek said Umavi rang alarm bells in Beau’s mind because that coupled with other offhand comments from earlier reminded her uncomfortably of her own relationship with her parents particularly Thoreaux. Right down to the way that Essek seemingly refused to refer to the her as mother. Which come to think of it he had only called her mother when he explained her relationship to him and then verbally danced around referring to her as such for the rest of the conversation. _Dammit, I don’t want to…No, I can’t allow myself…to empathize with him_. By the time she had finished angrily reminding herself of what he had done and what he had caused, she realized that the pair had fallen silent for a while Essek running the comb through Verin’s hair carefully from the ends up.

******************

The question surprised him even as he was relieved that his gamble had paid off in grounding Essek, he hadn’t liked the way that his brother had almost gone into shock after the battle was over. Still for all that it seemed that being touched was overwhelming for his sibling right now being given the option to touch and putting the control in his brother’s hands had been the right choice. _It’s also nice to have someone to lean on right now_ , he admitted to himself even as he pondered how to answer the question because even though he privately doubted that there was anything that Essek could do to assist in this situation. _It can’t hurt, I know that he’s had his share of railing against the culture that consecution has created among our people. Maybe he’s heard of something that I haven’t. It’s worth a shot._

“I suppose, She’s a tricky case in that she’s consecuted which should make it easy, except she won’t tell us what who she is or what Den she belongs to.” That was an understatement and the pause in the comb running through his hair told him that his brother knew that as well. Still he hoped that his sibling could pick up on the information that he wasn’t saying. 

“I take it that her consecuted form would cause issues with most of the Dens or she’s uncomfortable with her form and doesn’t want to return to her Den hoping to stay lost until another lifetime hopefully brings a form more to her liking?” and Verin had to close his eyes in relief at Essek’s ability to pick up on what was not being said as easily as breathing. 

“A little of both I believe, she hasn’t said but the impression I got is that it’s her first lifetime not Drow and not physically female. If I had to hazard a guess she’s either a member of Den Mirrim, Den Krynn, or…” He trailed off as he felt his brother’s hands tighten slightly on his hair and then relax. This was a touchy subject as the teachings of the Luxon were that every lifetime should be treated a new experience to be embraced and that clinging to tightly to previous consecutions was a failure on the individual’s part. He had seen how those who felt uncomfortable in their newest lives and forms were treated in their society with almost as much disdain as new souls were. It was a prickly situation that he wasn’t sure how to fix because she was not going to admit to the Den she belonged to and he didn’t have the resources to let her stay here.

“Den Thelyss,” Essek finished the sentence for him quietly resuming combing the blood and ichor out of his hair, “let me guess goblinoid heritage. It isn’t a secret how Den Mirrim reacted to the Skysibil being born as a Goblin this lifetime and there was quite the backlash amongst some of the other Dens.”

Verin couldn’t hide his grimace even though he knew Essek couldn’t see it, but his silence was telling enough. They stayed in contemplative quiet for a few moments before Essek spoke.

“There may be something that I can do, I would have to ask for permission to copy the spell, but it would allow her to change her form to one more pleasing to her,” his words were soft almost as if he feared backlash; which Verin could understand as what he was suggesting many in the Dynasty would consider close to blasphemy. It would however solve his issue and honestly he if he were being truthful he disagreed with much of the interpretation of the Luxon’s teachings. He could feel the way Essek’s hands were beginning to flex around the length of his hair longer he stayed silent.

“If you would please check I would greatly appreciate it. I know that it’s skirting blasphemy to do so; but, I really don’t see any other options in this case I physically do not have the resources here to allow her to stay and she’s untrained and too young besides to allow her fight,” As Verin said the words he felt the tension ease out of his brother’s hands and presumably his body.

“It’s not a cheap spell, but I would be willing to provide the most expensive components all you would need to provide is the clay, enough to equal her body weight, and a vessel of some sort for her rest in while the spell is cast. The first attempt was made with a rudimentary trough though that attempt failed for reasons outside of our control. I have been informed that the second and successful attempt broke the bathtub that was used. So perhaps use something that can either be easily replaced or would not matter if it was broken.” That sounded like an eventful spell but the mention of clay caught his attention. Thinking back to the first time he saw his brother’s towers and the offhand comment that he had made about the holes dug in the lawn.

“This was the spell that you needed fifty pounds of clay for?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking the question even as the comb reached the crown of his head preventing him from twisting around to look at his brother. This was not the kind of spell that he thought that his brother would be interested in crafting entirely out of Essek’s area of interests when it came to magic, or so he had thought. The awkward clearing of the throat behind him signaled that there was more to the story than that. Especially since Essek had said he would need to ask for permission to copy the spell into his spellbook. Which likely meant that it was a joint effort to develop or he was simply consulted on whether it would work or not.

“Oh, ah, yes. It was created for one of my friends, she was trapped in a form that she hated, a curse I believe, a punishment by some vengeful Goblins that had attacked her family. I only assisted in the end stages of the spell lending my expertise in Dunamancy to help complete it.” _That makes more sense now, if it was for one of his friends and also creating or getting to assist in creating a new spell was almost certainly irresistible for him as well I’m sure._ “Do you want me to re-braid this or leave it down?” 

Huffing a silent laugh, because that was just so like his brother to try and deflect his attention away from what he hadn’t said and the sentiment that he had just revealed even with his hands buried in Verin’s hair belying the fact of just how much he cared. Still he couldn’t resist teasing his sibling a bit, “Do you even remember how, after all it’s been what fifty years since you’ve last braided hair?”

“If all it took was a measly fifty years for me to forget something as simple as how to braid, then I would say that I would be in trouble considering how much I have to remember for my profession and position wouldn’t you say?” Essek’s retort was gentle and light hearted the last of that unsettling hesitancy that had been plaguing his brother’s demeanor this night seemingly banished. Verin wondered how much he missed growing up now that he realized that his brother showed affection through doing things for the people he cared about. Spells offered when needed, assistance given if asked, all wrapped up under the guise of doing a favor for a favor. A tit for tat exchange to disguise the fact how deeply he cared and keep himself from being left vulnerable. As he tilted his head back slightly at Essek’s unspoken direction just enough that he could see his sibling’s face as he leaned forward to focus, he couldn’t resist asking the question that had been plaguing him since he had officially met his brother’s friends and seen him interact with them.

“So what’s going on between you and Caleb?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also my work put me on a different shift which combined with the fact that I recently started DMing the Homebrew campaign idea that I have been slowly working on since July of last year means that I have even less time to write than I did previously. So expect the continued trend of slow updates just know that I have not abandoned this fic and I still plan on finishing it.


	8. Essek/Veth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Essek tries honesty and Veth contemplates what she's overheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning this chapter is intensely dialogue heavy and full of feels. But I'm pleased with how it turned out. Also this fic is turning into a monster it is as of this chapter at 65 pages and 28,682 words so far...

_What? I_ _…Damn_ _you for_ _reading into things!_ Essek dropped the half plaited length of his brother’s hair to avoid tugging on it as his mind went blank and his heart which had just started to relax into a normal rhythm began to pound once again. Forcing hands that had begun to shake again to pick up the plait before it started to unravel, he stammered unconvincingly, “I-I’m not sure what you mean, he’s my student and my friend that is all.”

Verin leaned his head even farther back over the spine of the lounging couch to get a better look at his face a disbelieving tilt to his eyebrows and mouth. _This_ _is not what_ _I_ _want to talk about, nor is it any of your business. I know that you’re not trying to be cruel but do you need to assuage your curiosity like this?_ Essek didn’t get the chance to speak his thought out loud when Verin spoke up with a sly smile that looked all the more wicked from the inverted angle of his head.

“But you want there to be more? Or there is more but you don’t want to acknowledge it.” The words were shrewd and not unkind, which was the only reason that he didn’t instinctively retaliate with something cruel and cutting. Verin meant well, if the recent weeks and conversations proved true, so he wasn’t sure why his brother was so insistent in pursuing this line of questioning. Morbid curiousity, perhaps? Essek just couldn’t figure it out and it was causing an uneasy feeling to build in his stomach. He could feel his heels starting to lift into the air as he reflexively began to invoke his gravitational field. Forcibly ending the spell he reached out and slightly more roughly than intended pushed his brother’s head forward so that he was no longer looking at him.

“Drop it there is nothing more to this and keep your head still. Do you want this braid to look like a spider’s nest?” It took a force of will for him to not growl those words at Verin and from the sigh his brother gave he knew it too. They stayed in slightly tense but companionable silence while Essek finished up the braid and tied it off. The longer the silence held more his heartrate began to relax and he hoped that Verin had dropped this topic entirely. However his hopes proved to be false when as soon as he finished tying off the end of the braid his brother turned leaning one arm over the back of the couch directing a piercing look at him.

“I’m not blind Essek, I saw the way the guest room was decorated. Cobalt blue and copper are not colors that you favor. It was intended for him, wasn’t it?” Verin’s words brought a low ache to his chest because as usual his sibling had managed to pick up on the one thing that he absolutely did not want him to. Even though he knew that Verin meant no harm in his observation Essek still felt his lips thinning into a pained grimace at how foolish that little manifestation of his hopes had been. Hopes of more nights working on spellcraft together, research into their own areas of expertise in his lab, possibly even a quiet dinner betwixt the two of them where they would be able to discuss spell theory without interuption. Of course there were other hopes, vague and nebulous as they were, of what might possibly follow; but, all of those were far beyond his reach now.

“Mere foolishness on my part, I’ll redecorate it when I am able.” _Eventually, if_ _I_ _can ever convince myself to give up on that foolish dream._ Try as Essek might he wasn’t able to keep a small tinge of bitterness from lacing the words at the thought of how thoroughly he had destroyed that dream before he even knew that it might be a possibilty. Verin heard it too if the sad tilt to his mouth was any indication.

“I’m not trying to be cruel, I just want you to be happy. I hate how alone you seem.” That tracked with what he was gradually starting to realize were his brother’s priorities. It was kind and soft and open in way that Essek wished that he could be, maybe then he wouldn’t be staring at the crumbling ashes of these small hopes that he refused to admit to anyone, including himself. “You’re allowed to have wants outside of Mother’s political aspirations and your position. You know that right?” 

The words hurt in a way that he hadn’t expected, because intellectually he knew that statement was correct; but, at the same time everytime he allowed himself to want and to act on those wants it ended in disaster. His selfish want to know more about the beacons, while it had brought him his second greatest desire, had also destroyed any chance of him achieving it. A restless energy suffused his body and he began to pace wishing that he had the comforting weight and obscurity of his mantle to hide the way that his hands were picking at the sleeves and hem of his tunic. 

“Not this time, my actions saw to that and even if they hadn’t I wouldn’t be allowed to pursue it. I’m the master of the Lens, Verin. I know too much about the Dynasty’s inner workings and even if he is a Hero and Ally of the Dynasty he and his friends are also wildcards the position they occupy is a precarious balance. The Umavi already knows or at least suspects how compromised I am that was part of the of the reason she called that disaster of a dinner a few weeks ago to remind me of my place and con you out of your chosen place and into one more accessible to her ambitions,” He hadn’t intended to let all that slip out but he wasn’t upset that it had. He craved Verin’s and his friends’ ability to be open with their feelings, their ability to admit their shortcomings with honesty. For even when he was honest, the words tasted like ashes in his mouth. 

“Bullshit, no Umavi, not mother, not even the Bright Queen herself can tell you who you are allowed to love or associate with. You may have to undergo more scrutiny if you do pursue a relationship but that would likely be for anyone you chose. Though Mother, at least, could make things very difficult for you if you did decide to pursue it.” His brother’s retort was sharp almost like a whip crack in the air between them. For a moment Essek had no response as he marshalled his thoughts together. Verin once again beat him to the punch, “what are you so afraid of, that you would allow it to interfere with the possibility of being happy?”

What wasn’t he afraid of? He was afraid of being caught for the theft of the Beacons, he was afraid that his friends would suddenly decide he wasn’t worth the time to talk to anymore or that they would fall to one of their adventures and he would never know that they were gone. That he would be left alone staring down the years and centuries never knowing if they had just gotten tired of him or if they had died without him knowing and without knowing if he could have possibly prevented it. Gods, he hated honesty and the way it left him vulnerable but he had felt better after the dinner he had spent with his friends allowing himself to voice things that he didn’t dare tell to anyone else. It couldn’t hurt to tell Verin, after all he had the feeling that his brother would probably understand more than anyone else.

“I’m afraid of many things, but above all I’m afraid of losing what affection I already have. You weren’t wrong that night when you theorized that my friends had gotten caught in the crossfire of my, how did you put it machinations? Except they caught the peripheries of it, the ones that took the brunt of it were people they care about. Veth’s husband in particular took the worst of the fallout. As I said my actions cost me any chance I had. I can only try to make amends and I’m afraid that they will not be accepted.” Essek sat down abruptly on the couch when his knees refused to hold his weight for strength of his emotions. Resting his elbows on his thighs he stared at his hands as they twisted around each other; his fingers twining into ever changing knots as they hooked together and released. Finally he managed to wrest his tongue into compliance and finish confessing his greatest fear.

“I have so little time with them, at most in some cases maybe only fifty…seventy years with the exception of Veth and Caduceus. Even then I will out live them. I would rather accept what scraps of affection they choose to spare for me than drive them away by pursuing more. At least this way when I eventually do lose them perhaps it won’t break me.” Essek’s could hear his voice begin to break on the last sentence and continued forging blindly ahead, “I’m terrified that Jester’s inconveniently and awkwardly timed Sendings will stop and I will never know if they have just decided I wasn’t worth it or if they’ve perished. And if they’ve perished would there have been anything that I could have done to prevent it if I had been there.”

“That’s a lot, and I will admit that some of those are very valid fears but at the same time I think that for all you’re insanely intelligent you’re also being a fool. I think that you’re allowing fear to stand in the way of possible happiness. You could always petition for them to be consecuted, at least that way when you do lose them it would only be for a short time and maybe they would be a little longer lived that time around.” Verin’s hand entered his field of view to cover and stop the restless motions of his hands. His words echoing in Essek’s head and he wanted to be hurt by his brother calling him a fool but somehow he knew that his friends would probably agree with Verin.

“Even if they decided to accept consecution. I couldn’t ask for them to do so, Caduceus in particular I believe disapproves of the consecution process I could be wrong, I cannot ask them to give up their personal beliefs and faiths to be consecuted simply because I cannot stand the idea of losing them. To at best leave all of their friends and loved ones behind to live here within the range of the Beacon for the rest of their days only to be reborn into the viper’s nest that Den politics are to be brought up like we were pitted against any siblings they might have, or suffer the casual cruelty that your one orphan has suffered from not being able to brush off their past lives. I care far too much for them to subject them to joyless upbringing we had.” He still couldn’t bring himself to look up at the pity that must be etched into his brother’s expression at his confession, preferring to stare his brother’s hand and it’s myriad of paper thin pale grey almost white scars standing brightly against the indigo undertoned charcoal of his brother’s skin.

“This is why you decided to follow me instead of staying with your friends, isn’t it? These fears. Not that I’m complaining mind you, it’s nice to not be alone with the casualty reports in the aftermath of a battle. I’m not going to harp on about how foolish it is but I think your friends have forgiven more than you think they have. Jester clearly has and I don’t think that she’s one abandon the people she’s claimed as friends, I highly doubt that she would allow the others to freeze you out. And circling back to my original question, don’t think that I didn’t notice you trying to shift the subject, I think that you have more of a chance than you believe. Unless it’s common for wizards to loan out their familars to people they don’t trust and not only that but have them perch and curl around that person’s neck and shoulders.” Essek wanted to believe his brother’s words, he wanted to with every fiber of his being; however, he knew that Verin had to be wrong. The Mighty nein were too closely knit; that if Veth and Beauregard decided they wanted nothing to with him the others would follow suit. Truthfully he wouldn’t want to be the cause of the dissolution of their little Den, for that was what they were a Den that prized love, affection, and friendship above power, ambition, and prestige. 

“I don’t want to talk about this any longer, please Verin let this subject lie. Also if you need someone after a battle if only to spell you clean while you work on the casualty reports and notifications thereof all you need to do is ask. I’ll come. Depending on what’s going on it may take a bit but I will come.” His voice was hoarse with suppressed emotion and strain but he meant it. After experiencing the aftermath of today’s battle which his mind was able recognize as rather small comparatively to the battlefields that must have erupted during the war, Essek wasn’t sure he would ever be able to look at a report again only see numbers with out the memory of today blooming behind his eyes.

“All right I’ll let it go with only one more question for you think over. Why don’t you ask to join them? You’re not beholden to the position you’re in for the rest of your life, it’s not even a position that I believe you particularly enjoy. So why not request a sabbatical or, granted this is a drastic measure, resign? I’m only saying this because I see you with them and you’re happy inspite of all the hurt between them and you right now. Essek, you cannot understand how much that means to me. You became so cold after your consecution. It was like that morning you were my somewhat aloof and distant older brother and then you came out of the chamber that evening a complete stranger. You disappeared into your rooms, cut your hair and when you came down to dinner you were ice cold. No emotion, nothing but the mask that you showed everyone for the next half century.” Verin’s voice was low and he wanted to flinch away from the realization of just how much his failed consecution had destroyed.

It had been indirectly responsible for his father’s death as it had been the root cause of the argument that had driven him to Bazzoxan. It was why he had gone so far to try and find out what the Luxon Beacons really were. It was also the main reason, he believed, that his brother had not been granted the Rite of Consecution. Because Essek and Verin had been the Umavi’s first new-souled children in at least seven lifetimes and his consecution had failed. She wasn’t about to risk it happening again. It was better in her opinion to let her youngest prove himself in Bazzoxan so that when he reached a high enough status that she could use she would be able to pull him back into her scope of influence. Forever dangling that promise in front of him that she never intended to grant. After all Essek knew that he had learned her lessons far too well, and was only now able to see them from trap they were. Rather than apologizing to his brother for that he chose instead to say.

“Are you trying to get me disowned? There are better ways to remove me from the Den I can assure you.” His words were teasing meant to bring a smile to his sibling’s face at the very least. Essek still wasn’t sure that he had a handle on non-cutting humor that wasn’t meant to wound. Still he continued on hoping that Verin wouldn’t make to much out of what he was about to say, “Still if I thought that I would be welcome amongst their group. If I thought for a moment that I would be allowed to have that time with them. I would seriously consider it. I don’t know if I would be brave enough to take it but if I didn’t it wouldn’t be without much hesitation on my part.”

Verin’s hand tightened around his own and then let go, “I can understand that feeling all too well. I’m here if you need me. Even if it’s just to provide a second opinon.”

*******

Veth eased the knuckles of her fist out of her mouth wincing in pain as she did so. It had seemed a good idea at the time to prevent her from reflexively making noise if she heard something that she had strong opinions on. And boy had she had been glad that she had done so when Essek’s brother had first asked about Caleb and her first gut impulse was to shout that he was not getting involved with her boy; but, had been unable to do so due to the half a fist in her mouth. Though truthfully she wouldn’t have understood any of the conversation other than Caleb’s name if it hadn’t been for a hastily cast Comprehend Languages from Caleb before they had left. It didn’t matter that Caleb was not actually her boy, not really, not anymore. She wanted to protect him, wanted to protest that Essek would only hurt him had already hurt him. Had betrayed their trust and harmed the people that they cared about all in the name of getting what he wanted, getting the information that he wanted. Except that thought had forced to her to admit that she had already harmed Caleb that way too. She had known what horrors his past held, knew how much pain and agony it had brought him and still she hadn’t cared in the face of her desire to get her body back, when she had asked him to kill her and bring her back in a different body. Had in fact viscerally reminded him of what he had done when she told him that she knew that he was the only one strong enough to do it. As much as Veth tried to deny it, she and Essek weren’t so different. She knows that if they hadn’t found another solution to Isharnai’s curse she would have made good on her promise to keep the war going; because, her own desire for her true form overrode every other desire at that point.

Looking down at her hand she could see the faintest of outlines where the spell was starting to end, looking across the way towards Beau she could see the outline of her friend starting to form. Risking being seen she darted to the other side of the open door frame to grab the monk’s wrist and pull her back to the other side of the doorway before it failed completely. Beau managed to stay silent though she glared at Veth for the abrupt pull before realizing the Invisibility was wearing off. Putting her fingers to her lips she motioned for Veth to follow her back down the hall to their room. While they snuck through the halls again she pondered the conversation they had just heard and what it meant. She was trying to hold onto her anger at Essek, trying to still see him as the person who had tortured her husband and had not felt guilty about starting the war only that his actions had harmed them. Instead she was failing because the more she had heard tonight the more she saw shades of them all, Beau in particular when he spoke of being afraid of losing them. Once they were in front of the door to their room (though she only knew because Beau stopped in front of it and that was the only thing about being a Goblin that she missed was the ability to see in the dark) she whispered, “I don’t know what to think now, but we shouldn’t say anything about what was said to Caleb.”

“Agreed, but honestly for two people who are so insanely smart both of them are also complete idiots. I don’t like it but to be honest Caleb could definitely do worse.” Beau’s honest statement was the truth, especially since she knew that Beau was referring to Astrid. Pushing the door open, Caleb or one of the others must have closed it after they left, they were met by a dull dark grey dome surrounding the bed and the floor around it. Approaching the dome Veth pushed her way inside to meet Caleb’s reserved gaze, for a second she thought that she saw something like hope flicker in his eyes as he watched Beau push in after her but it vanished as quickly as it came. Fjord and Yasha were asleep sitting up against the side of the bed next to him heads lolling back onto the mattress at an angle that made her neck hurt. 

“Did you find out everything you were hoping to learn?” His question was quiet with just a faint note of disapproval that in light of what she had overheard tonight made her want to curl up in shame slightly because it had been far more personal than she had been expecting. Especially the information about how Essek felt about them, about the man in front of her in particular. Luckily she was saved from having to answer his question by Beau whispering back.

“Sorta, I…dammit…he’s still a war criminal but there’s a lot to think about right now. I think in the grand scheme of things he’s a minor fish on our list. The Assembly comes first whatever we decide to do.” Veth could live with that, especially since her feelings on Essek were conflicted after hearing all she did tonight and her feelings about certain members of the Cerberus Assembly were not. 

“Ja…I just hope that you remember that we are not so squeaky clean in this matter ourselves. If we decide that we are judge, jury, and executioner then at the end of the day we too must answer for the crimes we’ve commited.” Exchanging a quick look with Beau that made it clear the she heard the words Caleb meant _“I must be punished for the crimes that_ _I_ _commited.”_

“Anyways, I’m going to sleep. I hurt like hell and if I stay awake any longer I’m going to have a headache the size of Xhorhas, we’ll talk about this more in the morning when everyone is awake.” With that statement Beauregard plopped herself down and wriggled her way inbetween Caleb and Yasha leaving his left side open for her to curl up against. Settling down she leaned against her boy mulling over everything she heard tonight. 

“You should rest, spatz. It’s been a long day,” Caleb’s low murmur washes over her even as she responds, “I’ll rest when you do. Oh by the way Essek is going to ask for permission to copy the spell tomorrow.” A low chuckle is her only response as she feels him get settled into a slightly more comfortable position, “The one that we all worked on togther? I was going to give it to him anyway, good night my friend.” 

Veth could hear his breaths even out into a slow deep rhythm even as her thought prevent her from finding the same rest. She was surprised honestly that Essek had cared enough about the plight of that poor orphan to offer the spell that they had worked on to give her back her life to his brother. Though she supposed they would have to be careful how they spun her appearance to the Dynasty if they ever decided to return to Rosohna given the fact that the nature of Widogast’s Transmogrification apparently was skirting blasphemy. Still she couldn’t blame that particular orphan (and she knew exactly which one Verin had been speaking about a tall and lanky hobgoblin with red skin and broadening shoulders that pulled at their dress in ways that it wasn’t meant to pull) she understood more than anyone what it was like to be trapped in a body not of her own choosing or self image. Of hating the way you looked so thoroughly that you woould do anything to prevent the people you cared about seeing you in that form. For that reason alone she would have allowed Essek to copy the spell if Caleb asked her permission. _You owe Essek that much. Yes he tortured Yeza_ _for information when he truly didn’t have to, he helped traumatize Luc more by having Yeza snatched during the invasion of Felderwin. But he also gave my husband back to me, he helped give my body back to me, which in turn gave me my family back without time limits or worries that my disguise self will be revealed._

It was an uncomfortable realization to allow herself to acknowledge, things had been easier when she had only allowed herself to dwell on the fact that he had hurt them, that he had hurt her husband and son, that he was working with the Assembly that had hurt Caleb and Yeza. Instead now she had to admit that he was young, that he had hurt them yes; but, then again she had also hurt Caleb and Yeza and Luc. It hurt. Thinking back to the fears that Essek had bared to his brother she couldn’t help but see much he cared. To the point where he much like her boy would rather look at the worst outcomes of things than allow himself to be happy. Somehow she got the impression from the way the brother’s had talked that their mother was a bad mother, and she had to wonder if Luc would eventually feel the same about her. Veth could feel her thoughts starting to get sluggish as the toll of the day began to catch up with her and these uncomfortable thoughts followed her down into an uneasy and restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than average since I honestly needed something good right now and posting this fic has always been something of a catharsis project. I got news on Thursday that my work is moving me to another division in another city far away from where I am now. Which means I'm going to be losing my D&D group and my group of friends here in a little less than three months time. So if this chapter seems a little angstier than expected that's why.


	9. Verin/Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Essek and Verin exercise the time honored tradition of showing that you care for each other by being assholes and Caleb pays far too much attention to Essek for his own peace of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a interim/slice of life chapter than an advance the plot chapter so hopefully you enjoy it as much as you have the previous chapters.

Verin drifted out of the half-aware state of his trance with the knowledge that he had a crick in his neck from where his head was lolled against the back of the couch, that he had not finished the casualty reports last night or even started on the Den notification letters, and that his second in command was currently leaning against his desk staring at the tableau that he and his brother made on the couch.

“I think this is the first time after a battle I haven’t walked in to you being passed out at your desk still in your gore caked armor from the previous day.” Honor’s amused observation was not something he appreciated this early in the morning. A quiet groan and shifting of cloth from the vicinity of his lap reminded him of why he had not been found in that position yet again. Looking down at a currently sleeping Essek sprawled elegently out over his lap taking in the deep indigo shadows almost invisible against the skin underneath his eyes and the far too prominent cheekbones that spoke of deep seeded exhaustion and semi-chronic skipped meals. Those small signs combined with the emotional and physical toll that yesterday’s battle had on him explained why his brother had succombed to sleep instead of an actual trance. 

“Blame him for that,” he said quietly nodding down towards his still sleeping sibling, “he badgered me until I took a break and then when I tried to go back to work sprawled out in my lap and made himself immovable.” The amused arch of Honor’s eyebrow told him more than words that she didn’t believe him at all. Making a face at her expression but otherwise not making any move to dislodge Essek from his lap, Verin silently dared her to comment on it. 

“I wouldn’t have had to do that if you weren’t still trying to insist that they all be done that night. Never mind that you were so exhausted that you could barely keep your eyes open.” Essek crisply retorted blinking sleep out of his eyes as he pushed himself upright, hair and clothing rumpled with sleep in a way that he knew his brother never let anyone else see. 

“I’m surprised he didn’t just wait until you tranced and then move you in order to get back to his work.” There were times that he would gleefully murder his best friend and this was looking like it was one of those times. The cat-smug smile she shot him was all he needed to see in order to prove that she knew exactly what kind of effect her cheerful teasing at his expense was having on him. It was one of his many habits that she had long tried to break him of and she was gleefully reveling in the fact that Essek had somehow managed it. All he could do now was hope that his sibling was not awake enough to join in.

“Ahh, but you forget I have a secret weapon. I can increase the density of any object including myself. I quite literally made myself too dense for him to move,” Essek’s words were accompanied by a pleased smile that held only a tinge of its customary viper sharpness that normally made itself known when he was in the presence of others not himself or the Mighty Nein. Even as he spoke Verin watched as his brother’s hair shifted itself back in to its typical immaculate coiffed style and the wrinkles that had set into his clothing from sleep fell out of the fabric as if they had never existed in the first place leaving him as Court presentable as always. 

“That’s a handy trick to have, you may have to teach me it. It seems to be the only way to keep your brother from overworking himself.” Glowering at her he opened his mouth to retort when Essek shooting a sly glance his way spoke up once again cutting off anything he might have said.

“Perhaps I should after all he’s a dreadful workaholic isn’t he.” _That’s quite enough of that…you hypocrite._

“Well aren’t you just being a horrible hypocrite right now mister ‘I haven’t tranced in about two days and I can’t remember the last meal I ate’,” Verin said with good natured mock outrage, reminding his brother of the dinner they had together a few weeks previous. “As for you Commander, I thought I told you not to report in today.”

“And I would say that I am not reporting in, I just came by to make sure that you weren’t passed out at your desk and also to drop off this.” Honor gestured towards the basket sat next to her on her desk; which, now that he was aware of Verin could smell the chocolate and cinnamon smell of Direina’s signature pastries. Well that explained some things, if Direina was dealing with the events of yesterday by stress baking then he wasn’t going to say no.

“Is she doing better? I was…concerned yesterday,” it was endearing to hear Essek pause and fight for the appropriate words. After all the more time he spent with his brother the more he realized that if he was having trouble finding just what it was he wanted to say the more genuine the emotions behind those words. It seemed that Honor knew that fact as well if the way her expression softened before speaking. 

“She’s dealing with it the same way she deals with most things and is taking it all out on the dough, though I fear that we’ll have used our monthly allotment of flour in a few days if this morning was any indication.” Verin winced internally flour, actual wheat flour and not rice or mushroom flour, was luxury that was all too rare here and one of those small goods that he didn’t question where it came from for morale’s sake. He wasn’t sure how he would get a hold of more ahead of the monthly loop the courier did between Shady Creek Run and Urthodurn. Something of his dismay must have shown itself on his face because Essek placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “Don’t worry too much about it, I’m sure I could convince Jester at least pick up flour and whatever other ingredients that Direina would want to bake with in exchange for pastries.” 

_That… that could work and there’s nothing illegal about them purchasing things in the Empire or the Menagerie Coast and handing them off to Essek to deliver here. Or from delivering them here themselves if they wanted._ The thought was a relief and not for the first time since he had met them he thanked the Luxon for his brother’s friends. Not just for the change they had wrought in his sibling but also for the everything that already done for his people. Hopefully they would agree to stay for breakfast at the very least since yesterday didn’t quite lend itself to actually getting to know them very well. Almost as if summoned by his thoughts a clattering and ruckus sounded from down the hall drawing their attention to the open door. For the briefest of seconds he thought that he saw flash of deep blue go by the doorway. Essek chuckled quietly to himself before standing with a sigh, “I suppose I should see what that was all about. Though knowing them it might just be Beauregard’s idea of training.”

Essek walked towards the doorway pausing in it just long enough to turn with a wicked and sly smirk to say, “Oh and don’t think I didn’t notice you calling me a hypocrite earlier. For your information the only difference between you and I in that instance is that you weren’t there to stop me and I was here to stop you.” With that proclamation he turned and walked out the door. 

“I hope that your friends are around to sit on you the next time you decide that work is more important than food or rest.” Verin couldn’t help but call out to his brother’s rapidly retreating form. A low throaty chuckle drew his attention and he scowled at his amused friend still leaning casually against his desk tail flicking with mirth. “Oh hush, I’m not as bad as he is. He showed up here a few weeks ago hadn’t tranced in two days, couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten, and was still upright only through his gravitational field spell, copious amounts of coffee or tea, and shear willpower. I’m nowhere near as bad as that, I at least don’t believe that I can subsist on stimulants, magic, and willpower alone.” 

“No you simply neglect everything else until you collapse from exhaustion and then when woken up go right back to working until the problem works itself out. The only difference I see is that you’re usually caked in gore when you get into that mindset.” Pulling an exaggeratedly annoyed face at her, he began levering himself off his couch wincing as his spine and legs protested the move. _I really need to actually start using my bed. I’m far too young to be waking up with aches and pains_. The thought was an idle one and not one that he would ever admit out loud as it would prove his friend’s point. Instead he walked over to pick up the basket of bread, pastries, and sweet rolls off of his desk asking as he did so, “Are you and your wife going to be joining us for breakfast?” 

“Not this time, I’m going to see if I can pull her away from the ovens long enough to eat and hopefully take break so she doesn’t make more bread than this city can possibly eat. Thank you though.” They walked out of the study into the hallway only to see his brother, most of the members of the Mighty Nein, and several of the orphans watching Beauregard terrorize the one called Fjord in what appeared to be the name of training. It was a sight that was eerily similar to ones that he had walked in on many a time among his own soldiers. 

“Come on Fjord, put your back into it. How do you expect to get any stronger if you don’t put the effort in.” she called from her seat upon his back as he attempted to do what appeared to be pushups in the hallway outside of the room they had stayed in last night. It didn’t appear that they had noticed his and Honor’s arrival yet and he took advantage of the situation to observe his sibling’s friends. The tall pink haired Firbolg, Caduceus, was standing next to Essek seemingly engrossed in conversation with his brother; though the way his purplish-pink eyes flicked up to meet his and Honor’s respectively told Verin that he wasn’t as unaware of his surroundings as he first appeared. Catching sight of a darting pale gold glance let him know Essek had also noticed their presence but was choosing not to say anything either; though whether that was for his friends’ sakes or Verin’s sake he wasn’t sure. Jester and Veth seemed to be cheering on Fjord and Beau respectively while Yasha sat against the wall surrounded by the curious orphans watching the spectacle. The only one who appeared to be missing was Caleb.

Though there was a slight popping noise from their room and a golden orange blur careened out of the doorway, bouncing off Fjord which caused him to lose his balance and go crashing to the floor with several curses, before climbing Essek until it reached his shoulders. The blur resolved itself into the fluffy golden monkey that was Caleb’s familiar which promptly began combing through his brother’s hair. Suppressing a snort of amusement he couldn’t help but think, _and he thinks that his suit is hopeless. As if it isn’t clear as crystal that Caleb has at least as much affection for him as he does for Caleb._

Honor shot him a curious glance at the sight and he shook his head ever so slightly asking her to drop it. He knew she was curious but thankfully was respectful enough that she would wait to ask about Essek and Caleb later; which meant, depending on how long the group stayed, he may end up having to do gossip control lest rumors reach back to their mother before Essek got his shit together. Hopefully he’d decide that he’d been a stubborn idiot for long enough and that he was allowed to be happy soon. Clearing his throat he reveled in the way those individuals who hadn’t noticed his approach jumped before saying, “It seems like you all are lively this morning, I’m glad to see that everyone is enjoying my hospitality.”

****** 

Caleb woke slowly, he had stayed awake far longer than he had planned on the off chance that Essek would decide to join them. By the time he opened his eyes and set the dancing lights to illuminate the room he could hear the commotion of Beau harassing Fjord under the excuse of training as well as what sounded like Veth and Jester egging the two on. Biting back a groan he started get up right as the dome dissipated with a pop, he’d better go wrangle his friends before they did something like mortally offend Essek’s brother by breaking something expensive. After all this wasn’t their home and he was pretty sure that something like the ball bearing incident would not be as amusing to Verin as it had been to Essek. Glancing down at Frumpkin he told his monkey shaped familiar, “Go find Essek, hopefully he can help run interference.”

 _That and he was looking a bit rough last night and could probably use a little comfort right now. And you are the best at making things seem better, ja. Even when you aren’t a cat,_ he silently told Frumpkin as the little monkey tore out of the room and apparently ran into or startled Fjord as he heard a crash and a string of vile curses echoed through the open doorway. _So much for not waking everyone up, well I guess I can only hope for Verin’s room being on a different floor._ Though that wishful thought was dashed when he heard the man in question’s voice drift into the room, “It seems like you all are lively this morning, I’m glad to see that everyone is enjoying my hospitality.”

 _Schiese, at least he sounds amused?_ Bracing himself for what he might find he stepped out the doorway and almost tread on Fjord’s hand where it had sprawled across the threshold. Taking in the sprawled forms of Fjord and Beau in addition to the nervous expressions of Jester and Veth he brought his attention towards the direction their host was standing only to be brought of short of the image of Frumpkin on Essek’s shoulder combing through the short white undercut. _That was not what I meant when I told you to comfort him! He probably does not appreciate you rucking up his hair,_ he thought pointedly at the monkey and only receiving a smug skirl of amusement back. Apparently for all that a cat was Frumpkin’s preferred form for both familiar and wizard he was apparently enjoying having hands with opposable thumbs far too much for Caleb’s comfort. He opened his mouth to apologize to Essek for Frumpkin’s behavior when the other wizard caught sight of him gracing Caleb with a soft, hesitant, and slightly crooked smile. The apology died in his throat at the sight and instead turned into apologies on behalf of his friends. 

“I am truly sorry if my friends and I woke you up or if we have caused any trouble, we tend to be a bit rowdy and should have warned you of that fact.” His words were echoed with nervous agreements from Jester, Veth, and Fjord as well as one indignant exclamation of “Hey!” from Beauregard’s direction. Caleb wasn’t expecting Essek’s brother to burst into laughter that caused his body to shake.

“No worries, I have a several garrisons of soldiers that make up the majority of this city’s population if you think I haven’t walked in on worse antics than this then you are sorely mistaken. Besides I don’t keep much here that isn’t replaceable as long as the walls and stairs are still standing I’m not terribly concerned.” That was far more generous than he had expected though now that he looked around, while flooring and build of the manse was quite stately it was rather bare of decoration. In fact even as tired as he had been the previous night it had looked like a good majority of the rooms were missing their doors and if he caught the right angle it looked like they were lacking furnishings as well. _I would have thought that a Taskhand’s personal quarters would be more lavish than this, especially given what little Essek has let on about the position Den Thelyss holds._ Perhaps that would be something to ask Essek about in the near future.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that we, uh, tend to get carried away sometimes. Fjord and I usually train together early in the morning and it didn’t seem like a good idea to be out and about without permission. So we…uh…decided to train in the hall. And then the kids came out and started watching and we decided to show off.” It was hard for Caleb to tell if the awkward apology was due to embarrassment or Verin’s second in command who was standing beside him observing the proceedings with a deeply amused expression. Knowing her it was probably the latter reason, which was promptly confirmed by the almost nervous glance she sent back towards where Jester and Yasha now sat together in the group of children.

“Like I said before, no worries this was tame compared to some of the things that my soldiers have gotten up to. Still I do hope that you all are planning on joining us for breakfast as it seems that Direina has taken it upon herself to supply us with enough of her baked goods to feed the whole city.” Caleb didn’t miss the hopeful lilt in Verin’s voice and given the way both Veth and Beau’s eyes narrowed neither did they. However the mention of baked goods caused Jester squeal excitedly and answer with a high pitched, “We’d love too! Oh, did she make more of those tarts? They were so good, Essek you must take me to her bakery before we leave. I need to stock up.” 

In classic Jester fashion this exclamation was followed by her quickly bouncing out of the knot of children to grace Verin with one of her full body hugs that Caleb knew from personal experience felt more like a tackle than a hug. It was amusing to see someone else other than Essek and themselves be the victim of Jester’s hugs for once. His stunned fish expression seemed to be the final straw for Essek who let out a barely there huff of mirth along with a wide smile that showed off the points of his teeth and crinkled the corners of his eyes in a way that Caleb had never seen before but couldn’t look away from. That warmth in his chest that he was desperately trying to ignore flared and banked at the sight.

“Thank Honor, she’s the one who brought her wife’s baking over this morning,” Verin’s slightly strangled desperate attempt at convincing Jester to release him broke Caleb’s sudden introspection and he looked away from Essek’s smile just in time to see Jester transfer her hug to the other Tiefling. Thankfully the Honor seemed more amused than anything else by the sudden and presumably unexpected assault on her person.

“My wife will be pleased to hear that you enjoyed her culinary experiment so much. We would be happy to help you stock up on whatever you would like; though I’m afraid the tarts were a limited item as honey is not an ingredient that we have access to very often. It was honestly more of a one-time thing as our usual courier for ingredients happened to have been given a jar of honey from her last trip to Savalier Wood. Something about doing a favor for a few friends,” Caleb put the information together right about the same time that Jester did and her excited exclamation was loud enough that Honor, Essek, and Verin all flinched slightly at the pitch, “You know Reani? That’s amazing. Caduceus did you know that those tarts were made with honey from the Blooming Grove?”

“Now that you mention it, they did taste a little familiar,” for the briefest of moments Caleb let the familiar chaos that was life with the Mighty Nein wash over him, relieved in the knowledge that it seemed as if Verin and his second in command at least were very much like Bryce in their good natured acceptance and amusement in the face of it. They hadn’t had enough mornings like this recently where they were all relaxed and the threads of tension, discord, and hurt weren’t simmering under the surface. He still needed to sit down with both Veth and Beau and finally have that talk that the three of them had been avoiding; but it could wait awhile longer for now he was content to enjoy this small bubble of relative peace. 

“Copper for your thoughts? I would offer more but knowing my recent luck you’d find it offensive,” Essek’s voice startled him out of his quiet introspection. The other wizard had at some point in the proceedings left Caduceus’ side to stand beside him as he leaned against the wall. Chancing a look at the Drow, Caleb was struck by the details that he hadn’t noticed the previous day, signs of exhaustion and stress that he strongly suspected that the other had been using magic to hide. Cheeks that were slightly hollowed out as if he hadn’t been eating enough and bruise dark circles under his eyes that blended nearly seamlessly into his skin. Making a note of these details he filed them away to bring up at later point when it was safer to talk about such things without worry of being overhead.

“It sounds as if there’s a bit of a story there,” he said mostly to deflect the question but also because he was curious as to what Essek meant by that statement. Essek leaned against the wall looking far more comfortable than he had earlier and Caleb couldn’t help but hope that they ( _I,_ an insidious little voice he was trying very hard to ignore whispered) had something to do with that fact. Essek reached up to absentmindedly scuff his fingers through the fur on Frumpkins chest as he chuckled ruefully.

“If all of you decide to visit Direina’s bakery with Jester and myself then I’m sure you will hear all about it. I have learned that she enjoys nothing more than disabusing me of any notion of superiority as she puts it. In other words she simply likes to embarrass and tease people who she feels are too uptight so to speak.” Now his curiousity was peaked even though the idea of going to another bakery with Jester, this time with Essek in tow, where it sounded like the owner would swap stories about Essek with Jester filled him with a vague sense of dread. Thinking back to the first time he had gone to a bakery with Jester and her reaction to the bread muff he winced that story would definitely come up if she and Essek started talking. A twinge in his gut reminded him that he very much wanted to still be held in a high regard by the other wizard and not be pitied or thought foolish. If he accompanied them on the trip perhaps there was some way he would be able to divert the topic if it veered into the territory of that story. Before he could say anything about his plans however he was distracted by Verin’s second in command walking up to both of them. 

“I just wanted to thank you both for your kindness towards my wife yesterday.” The words made Caleb uncomfortable because it wasn’t something that he had intentionally sought out to do. He had just recognized her look of devastation and acted because no one should be used as a weapon against the ones that they love. It was the one thing that he was desperately trying to make sure never happened again at the hands of the Cerbereus Assembly. He was left struggling for an appropriate response a quick darting look over towards Essek in a desperate plea for assistance proved to be fruitless as he seemed to be in the same state. Either the Tiefling woman decided to take pity on the both of them or she wasn’t looking for a response as she continued speaking. “Direina would like to thank you as well in person and to let you know that you’re welcome any time in her bakery.”

With that said she walked through the press of Caleb’s friends and gathering up the orphans saying good byes when pressed and made her way down the hall and the stairs. An awkward silence descended upon them until Essek’s brother spoke up, “I’m afraid that I don’t entertain much and I’m not actually sure if I have enough chairs but I do have a dining room that would be a lot more comfortable to have breakfast in.”

Caleb tuned out the round of protests from his friends stating that whatever Verin had to offer was fine in favor of watching Essek smile at their friends and possibly the discomfiture of his brother. This was an Essek they had only started to see before the peace talks and it was one that he desperately wished that they would be able to see more of. Finally they started moving towards the stairs presumably to head towards the dining room of the manse, Veth falling into place on the side that wasn’t currently occupied by Essek and Frumpkin. As they moved down the stairs Caleb heard him nervously clear his throat looking over he could see that his fellow wizard had paused hand nervously coming up to comb through Frumpkin’s fur and eyes darting to and from both his and Veth’s forms nervously.

“I know I have no right to ask this; but, would you allow me to copy the spell that we worked on together?” his words were soft and he hesitated over a few of them as if he needed to gather his courage to speak them aloud. Even though he knew that Essek was going to ask the question it hurt more than he thought it should to hear his friend, one of his partners in finishing the spell ask for permission to copy it as if he was afraid and sure that the answer would be no. Of course Essek had a right to copy the spell the same as Veth had a right to copy the spell if she should so choose, it was a joint effort and not his alone.

“My friend you never even had to ask, we didn’t get the chance before to sit down and do so and that was understandably unfortunate;” his words caused Essek to flinch slightly and raise his eyes to meet Caleb’s, “but, this spell is every bit yours as it is mine and Veth’s. I was not joking when I said that we would not have finished it without your help.”

He watched as Essek dropped his gaze again seemingly at a loss for words as emotions that he had a hard time identifying chased themselves across his face. Finally he heard him murmur, “Thank you, would that be amenable for you as well Veth? Since this spell was made for you and you assisted in its creation it’s only right that you have the final say.”

Once again Caleb fought to keep the frown off of his face, he could tell that Essek truly wanted to copy the spell but was giving them both all the chances he could to deny him. Still he was sure he knew of what Veth’s answer was going to be since she had been the one to tell him that he was going to ask to copy it; but, she was known to change her mind suddenly on occasion for reasons that he had trouble following at times. Glancing down at his friend, she paused as if mulling it over a touch more dramatically than she needed to in his opinion (any more dramatic and Caleb was sure that Essek would figure out that at least one of them had eavesdropped on him and his brother last night) before asking, “What are you going to do with it if we do allow you to copy the spell?”

Apparently that wasn’t the question he had expected as Essek’s gaze shot up to meet theirs and his mouth fell open slightly at a loss for words, before managing to wrestle his tongue into submission to not quite stammer his answer. “I…uh…Verin..,” he paused brow furrowing in frustration at his inability to find the words to best describe why he wanted to copy the spell finally Essek to a breath and started again. “To properly explain I must first explain some things regarding the culture surrounding Consecution. One of the tenants of the Luxon regarding Consecution is that the Consecuted are to regard every new life as a learning experience. If you come back in the form of a different sex or race then it is something to be rejoiced in as you are one step closer to reaching the state of Umavi. Consequently to cling too hard to the idea of yourself from a past life either your race or your sex is considered a failure on the individual’s part even more so than being born a new soul.”

There was a particular bitter twist to Essek’s mouth as he spoke those words that Caleb didn’t like it felt too much like the way he himself talked about his time before the asylum. Opening his mouth to say something he was cut off by Essek continuing, “Even with that belief there is still a certain bias towards being reborn into certain races. The Skysibil being reborn as Goblin was one of the biggest scandals of recent history amongst the twelve major Dens.”

“That’s all fine and horrible sounding but what does this have to do with why you want the spell?” Veth’s voice cut across the pause that Essek had left in order to presumably gather his thoughts again. Though Caleb thought he saw the direction his explanation was going.

“One of the orphans is consecuted, my brother suspects that this is her first life in which she is not Drow nor physically female. She will not tell him what Den she’s of which means that he cannot send her back to Rosohna nor can she stay here. As you’ve seen it’s exceedingly dangerous and if you don’t have the training to defend yourself at the very least you won’t survive. This spell could help solve that issue.” The words came out in a rush even as his eyes flickered back down to the floor. Movement caught Caleb’s eye and he could see that Essek’s hands had begun worrying at the hem of his tunic, stopping only to reach up and sink his fingers into Frumpkin’s fur again.

“So you want the spell to help an orphan change herself into a form more pleasing to her. That sounds suspiciously altruistic for you.” Veth’s sharp voice caused him to look down at his friend who was standing with her arms crossed and a suspicious look on her face, though Caleb could tell that she was trying hard not to let it soften into a more friendly expression. Still he didn’t miss the look of frustration that passed over Essek’s face when he returned his gaze to the other wizard.

“I want to make my brother’s life a little easier since this is a thankless assignment and he doesn’t need more unnecessary complications than he is already dealing with!” The words were almost hissed and ended with a huff that sounded like it almost wanted to be the word “and” before being cut off silencing whatever continuation that he almost let slip. Looking back to Veth he waited for her verdict, he would have let him copy the spell regardless of what Essek intended to use it for it was up to her now. He watched her make a show of considering the decision the nervous worrying at the hem of the Essek’s tunic speeding up the longer she remained silent. Finally she said, “I’m satisfied, you can copy the spell.”

It looked as if a string had been cut as Essek’s entire body seemed to relax as he exhaled in relief before murmuring thank, “Thank you.”

Before either one of them could respond to him or continue walking Beau’s voice shouted up the stairs at them, “Hey you guys coming?” The three of them exchanged glances before Essek swept his arm out in the direction of the stairs.

“Shall we proceed then?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, Essek did pull the time honored tradition of collapsing on your younger sibling and claiming that gravity is increasing upon you and proceeding to squash them with your body weight. In Essek's case he can make that a reality just to be extra annoying.


	10. Essek/Beau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Essek struggles and Beau does some self evaluation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another talky chapter but hopefully there will be a little more action in the next chapter. Also I would like to thank everyone who follows this story and leaves comments and kudos, it really does make my day to see them.

Bone deep relief flooded through his body as he led the way down his brother’s staircase to the main floor. He had honestly been anticipating having to tell Verin that they had denied the request to copy the spell; but, they hadn’t, in fact Caleb had treated it as a foregone conclusion that he would be allowed to copy it simply because they had worked on it together. That wasn’t how things worked, not in his experience at least, if this spell had been created with the help of a colleague at the conservatory it was an understood rule that the one who had done the majority of the work would claim credit or if one partner was consecuted and the other was not then the consecuted partner would be the one to claim the spell for their own. The less fortunate partner was left to beg for permission or figure out a way to steal the spell for themselves. It was the main reason most arcanists worked alone and why he had said as much to Caleb in the past. An image of a scrap of paper with an unfinished and half theoretical arcane equation on it flashed through his mind, it was tempting oh so very tempting to try and see if he could have all of this without the weight and guilt of stealing the beacons weighing on him.

Maybe then he could believe that these fragile hopes of his could become reality. That he could fold himself into the Mighty Nein’s Den without fear that his presence would tear their group apart. That he would then be allowed to pull Verin in as well, because his brother’s support and affection had become as necessary to him as his magic in the space of the past four weeks or so. Because Verin had somehow managed to either stay or become a good and compassionate person in spite of their upbringing, and it was something Essek was beginning to realize was a strength not a flaw as he had always seen it before.

“Are you alright, my friend? It looks like you have some heavy thoughts,” Caleb’s voice was almost jarring in its proximity and a quick glance around told him that Veth had moved up ahead presumably to catch up with the main group. He could feel Frumpkin snuggling up closer into the curve of his neck a warm comforting weight that he was sure was the reason that he had often seen the other wizard wearing his familiar like a scarf. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to put to words the mire that his thoughts were right now. Certainly it had been hard enough admitting that the only reason he wanted the spell was that it would make his brother’s life easier. _But that’s not true, the orphan in particular reminded you of that dinner when Veth had told you that she wasn’t originally born a goblin. Because in that moment your mind immediately went to memories of those who obviously tried to cling to a past image of themselves and the scorn that was heaped upon them; that knee jerk instinct you had to protect your friend from the derision that would be heaped upon her by biting individuals that didn’t know and wouldn’t care about the truth._ Essek fought the grimace that wanted to make itself known on his face at that line of thoughts, it was so much harder to lie to himself now that he had started acknowledging the truth.

“I have many heavy thoughts, just not many I can put into words,” he was deflecting, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately and he truly hoped that Caleb and the others would forgive him for it. It was hard enough to stop lying to himself let alone speak the truth aloud to others. The implicit vulnerability that act created nearly sent him into paroxysms of panic just contemplating it. Daring to sneak a look at Caleb from his peripherals just to make sure that he hadn’t offended him, Essek felt his heart rate start speeding up and his fingers begin to pluck at the hem of his tunic when he saw a furrowed frown on the other wizard’s face. Opening his mouth hastily to apologize or try and explain his answer better, anything that would smooth over whatever offense or upset his answer had caused, he was stopped short by Caleb’s heavy sigh.

“Ja, I know that feeling all too well,” the words were tired and he didn’t like the way that Caleb’s shoulders slumped as he said it. There was still grime on his coat, his hair was disheveled from sleep, and the deep auburn stubble shadowing his jaw and chin made him look so much like when Essek had first laid eyes on him in the Bright Queen’s court tired, weary, and forging on in spite of it. He wanted more than anything not to be the cause of that look anymore, to instead alleviate it. They continued to descend the stairs at a slow almost absentminded pace, the silence between them not so much awkward or companionable but heavy.

“I, uh, would you feel better if…” His voice trailed off as he tried figure out how he could offer to cast Prestidigitation on Caleb without implying that his hygene was unacceptable. _Luxon bless, why is it so hard to interact with people like a functioning sentient being?_ Caleb stopped to look at him one eyebrow raised in askance. Essek could feel his heels lifting up as he reflexively cast his gravity field spell in response to the sudden flood of anxiety he experienced, fighting down the panic in order to answer. Taking a deep breath he started again, “I know that yesterday was a difficult day and well there aren’t a lot of creature comforts available here in Bazzoxan; and I was…ah…wondering if you would like for me to cast Prestidigitation on you?”

A thought suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t need to offer surely Caleb could cast it himself, and embarrassment ran strips of flame warm heat across his cheeks. He had never asked if the other wizard had that cantrip in his arsenal and truly assumed that since he hadn’t ever seen him use it and given some of the states that he had seen all of his friends come and go in that he didn’t know it. The what ifs of _did I just offend him_ and _is he going to think I’m being condescending_ chased themselves around in his head until he felt the rolled hem on his tunic biting into his fingers. The feeling of small hands once again combing through his hair eased his breathing back down from its almost gasping pace, and not for the first time he thought that he should be mad at the familiar for destroying his carefully curated appearance but it was such a comforting sensation that he couldn’t bring himself to be upset. Ignoring the idle thought that it would feel even nicer if the hands involved were larger with longer fingers, he focused on trying to disguise the obvious signs written on his face and in his posture.

“Ah, that would be most appreciated but perhaps in a bit, we seem to have fallen behind our friends and some of them are not the most patient of people,” Caleb’s words were gentle and let nothing on about the obvious anxiety that Essek had just experienced and he couldn’t help but feel grateful for it. Nodding his assent he continued to lead the way down the stairs and through the foyer towards the vaulted doors that lead to the dining room. The silence between them once again had settled into awkward and uncomfortable territory which he had no idea how to fix and desperately wanted to. He pushed open the doors only to see seven chairs clustered around a Vermaloc Purplewood Table and Jester apparently painting the two missing chairs on the wall with that special paint of hers that she had used to create his parasol. She finished the final strokes on both chairs as he and Caleb made their way to the table and proceeded to shove the two garishly colored constructs behind them indicating that these chairs were for them.

“That’s a fascinating bit of magic there, how long does the item last?” Verin’s question soothed over his own anxiety, perhaps his brother would be willing to carry the burden of conversation and allow him to relax a bit instead of existing in a near state of panic as he tried to find the right thing to say at the right time.

“Well, until it’s destroyed. I mean Essek still has the parasol that I made for him and it hasn’t disappeared yet. Has it?” Jester’s question caught him off guard but he managed to stammer, “No, it’s still there. I haven’t used it much, obviously there’s not much call for it in Rosohna.”

The grin that she shot him in response to his answer made him feel warm; this was one thing at least that he had done right. That he hadn’t ruined, though he didn’t think he could bring himself to destroy that gift even if he wanted to. It was yet one more tangible piece of evidence that they were friends, that they cared enough about him to try and spare him some discomfort. Looking up he met his brother’s eyes and a sinking feeling began forming in his stomach at the expression on Verin’s face.

“You made my brother a parasol? I’m very curious as to the circumstances that came about,” His brother’s question suddenly reminded him that his friends could reveal what he did if Verin chose to ask the wrong question. Feeling his breathing start to pick up again Essek reached up to rake his trembling fingers through Frumpkin’s fur, even as he and Caleb sat down in the chairs that Jester had painted into existence for them. 

“Well, he had teleported us to this beach that was the closest place we could confirm was close to the Menagerie, which was where the Wild Mother told Caduceus to go in order to fix his home. It also just happened to be the last place he knew his family had headed when they left. Anyways it was like a tropical beach and really bright out. Essek kept wincing and squinting and really just looked like he was in pain. So I painted a parasol for him, because he’s our friend and it didn’t matter if he was only going to be in pain for a few minutes until he teleported away again. He shouldn’t have to be in pain for helping us and with the parasol he was able to see how pretty the beach and the water and the jungle looked,” Jester’s bubbly and lightning speed explanation left his lungs aching in sympathy as it all came tumbling out in one single breath. Thinking that the explanation was done he risked looking at Verin hoping that he didn’t realize that this jaunt took them to the Menagerie Coast and Empire aligned territory before peace had been declared. Though it looked as if Essek needn’t have worried because as soon as Jester took a deep breath, she continued speaking, “Of course he missed Fjord trying intimidate the jungle and promptly getting eaten by a plant. I don’t think we ever told you about that, Essek. It’s a shame you missed it, it was really funny.”

 _Intimidate the jungle?_ Glancing over towards Caleb hoping that his question was written clear enough on his face so he didn’t have to ask the absurd question aloud he caught sight of Fjord’s face settled into a miserable grimace of embarrassment while Caduceus patted his shoulder. _Oh I guess that really did happen, but why?_ Essek didn’t think that he wanted to know but curiosity was beginning to simmer in his chest making him want to ask simply hear all about their frankly unbelievable and absurd adventures.

“Intimidate the jungle…Getting eaten by a plant…You all thrive off of chaos don’t you?” His brother’s disbelieving question made him feel a little better in that he wasn’t the only one that was disconcerted by how unbelievable it sounded. They were a kaleidoscope of color, sound, and action that must have been touched by luck’s fickle kiss as well as chaos’ wild embrace; because, that was only way that he could see how they had not only gotten into most of the things that they had and escaped alive as well. A raucous bout of laughter drew his attention to Veth, Beauregard, and Jester leaning across the table to fist bump each other with a gleeful shout of “Chaos Crew!”

“Well…that is to say….probably. We seem to attract more than our fair share of it. Honestly that’s the only way some of the frankly unbelievable and ridiculous situations we’ve gotten ourselves into makes any sort of sense,” Fjord’s sheepish response accompanied by a nervous hand rubbing at the back of his neck. _Oh no,_ the thought hit him along with an all-consuming desire to know just what those situations were. Curiosity was beginning to eat away at him and sneaking a look at Verin he could see an answering intrigue writing itself into his features. 

“Now I’m finding myself dying to find out what some of these situations were, only if you’re willing to share of course?” _Luxon bless my brother and his ability to actually ask things like a functioning social being._

The next few moments were a cacophony of half shouted incidents and arguments over which ones topped which on the absurdity scale. He caught reference to dick decorating (two separate instances one of which seemed to be a contest maybe?), a dick hunt, and possibly stopping someone from jumping into a volcano because Veth glued a golden dick onto their hand. As well as Happy Fun Ball round one versus Happy Fun Ball round two (and it still made Essek want to shake all of them but especially Caleb for going into the Archmage’s Bane not once but twice apparently) and finally, the one that seemed to catch both his and Verin’s attention, accidentally becoming pirates.

“Just for clarification how does one accidentally become pirates?” Everyone stopped talking over each other to stare at him and Essek suddenly realized that he had spoken that question aloud. The overwhelming desire to sink through the obnoxiously colored chair he was sitting on and straight through the floor gripped him freezing him in place under their gazes. A solid press of warm fur against his neck and cheek reminded him that he was among friends, this wasn’t a Den or Court dinner where he was under constant scrutiny from the Umavi and any others that would be looking for any weaknesses to exploit. A clearing of a throat brought his friends’ attention off of him and towards Verin whom it seemed, if the faint flicker of silver eyes meeting his and the barely perceptible quirk of a smile were any indication, had decided to throw him a lifeline.

“Indeed I am very curious about that statement myself,” _I swear I never used to be this bad at talking_ , he thought even as he welcomed his brother’s conversational lifeline. He resolved to make sure that the next formal dinner he wasn’t able to get out of attending that Verin was invited as well if only to have someone to converse with in order to avoid the tedium and awkward small talk.

“Well you accidentally become pirates the same way you accidentally steal a boat,” Beauregard’s answer to the question made even less sense than the original statement. It wasn’t that he wasn’t surprised that his friends at some point had managed to steal a boat, oh no he was well aware that their methods for doing things was unorthodox at best; but, it was the caveat of accidentally doing so that was not connecting for him.

“Actually Beauregard we stole two boats,” Caleb corrected a thread of humor lacing his otherwise solemn voice. The other wizard was seemingly only half paying attention as he peeled pieces of the hard crust of a small hand sized piece of bread off to eat them. It was only then Essek realized that everyone else had either grabbed a piece of bread, one of the sweet rolls, or what looked like a flakey layered roll that was shaped like a crescent moon from the basket in the middle of the table. He needed to eat even if anxiety was causing his stomach to churn and the thought of food brought a sense of dread with it. Still he surreptitiously grabbed the flakey layered roll as it looked to be the one least likely to sit like lead in his stomach. 

Exchanging mutual looks of confusion and disbelief with his sibling, Essek decided that it would be the better part of valor to let Verin ask the question. He still wasn’t sure how far his friends’ tolerance for him went and asking prying questions about their past exploits was assuredly not going to endear him to them the way it might have in the past.

“You accidentally stole two boats and somehow this led to you all accidentally becoming pirates…” Verin’s question was laden with the confusion that they both felt at the not quite an explanation. The Mighty Nein exchanged rueful glances and seemed to have a silent argument over who was the best one to tell the tale. Finally it seemed that they had decided on Caleb as he cleared his voice and began to speak.

“This, ah, happened shortly after Caduceus joined us when we…ah…lost Mollymauk. We traveled to Nicodranus to visit Jester’s mother who happens to be a very well-known courtesan…” he was interrupted by Jester’s gleefully shouted exclamation.

“She’s the Ruby of the Sea, you’ve probably already heard of her? They sing songs about her and everything. She has lots of people who are madly in love her.” _That explains a lot_ , Essek thought to himself abruptly reminded of her rather garbled speech to him in the hold of their boat about him needing to make so many babies to make up for starting the war. Also belatedly remembering that the Ruby of the Sea had entered the party with his friends and had indeed sung at that disastrous party right before the peace talks. At the time he had simply believed that she was another one of his friend’s unlikely allies that they seemed to pick up wherever they went. 

Caleb shot a fondly exasperated look at the exuberant Tiefling, before continuing the story, “So we arrived in Nicodranus, Jester under disguise due to the circumstances that caused her to leave home, only to find that one of her mother’s suitors was being far more aggressive in his attempts to court her favor…so to speak…than was appreciated. So we offered our services to get him to back off or get rid of him if he did not. We eventually found out that he had procured an item of sorts that was to be delivered to a ship in the harbor. So we followed the courier onto the ship, not knowing that it was suspected of and being investigated for piracy. The Zolezzo showed up, we panicked, Jester pretended to commit suicide by jumping over board since if the Zolezzo caught her she would be executed, and in the confusion we ended up stealing the ship and kidnapping the courier as well.”

This time it was Beauregard that interrupted Caleb with a muttered, “Fuckin, Marius.” Essek meanwhile was still trying to process the clearly abbreviated and abridged recounting of events. Clearly he had never stood a chance against them, no wonder they had managed to bring all his carefully arranged plans and plots down around his ears. Just the chain of events that apparently led to them temporarily (he hoped) becoming pirates seemed far too unbelievable and like a child’s adventure story. An unwitting comedy of errors that turned into them being in the wrong/right place at the wrong/right time. Come think of it he had never asked them how they had come into possession of one of the beacons he had stolen. Honestly in that regard he hadn’t asked them for fear of what he would find out and in case it had roused their suspicions of him. Not that it had helped much. _Perhaps someday I will be able to ask without opening old wounds._

Essek rousted himself out of the tangent his thoughts had turned towards as he realized that Caleb was still telling the story, though he was rather certain he had missed something rather important as he was now talking about an Avantika, a pirate whose ship it was they had stolen, and something about an imprisoned sea serpent being? He wasn’t really sure. The entire story was so peppered by random commentary from his friends, most of which was entirely nonsensical to him, that he almost wanted to say that they were trying to see how long it would take for Verin or him to call them on their outrageous falsehoods. Glancing at his sibling he found that Verin looked just as lost as he was. The most ironic part of this whole retelling was that he was certain that it was all true barring some but probably not a lot of exaggeration.

Finally to his relief and also somewhat to his regret as well the story came to close, leaving him with more questions than answers which was a usual occurrence with his friends he had found. Looking at Caleb he spoke, “As much as I would like to copy the spell right away, I believe it would be far more prudent to escort Jester to the bakery as promised. If that is all right with you?”

“Ja I think that it would be fine, besides I would like to at least check in to see how she’s doing,” Caleb’s response brought a sense of calm with it that made the knot of tension in his gut ease a little. _At least he’s still willing to accompany you, even if it is just assisting in enabling Jester’s sweet tooth._

*******

Breakfast had been more fun and less interrogation than Beau had expected. Honestly she had kind of been waiting for the other shoe to drop since Essek had appeared in the hallway that morning and she had to scramble to avoid being caught spying on them….again. She had in fact been expecting them to reveal that they knew that she and Veth had been eavesdropping on them last night. What she hadn’t anticipated, though she really should have, was Jester’s uncanny way of completely derailing any and all conversation to the direction that she wanted it to go. Spending an admittedly fun hour or so over a breakfast of bread and pastries was much more preferable to an interrogation and host’s sense of betrayed hospitality. Still she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that Verin had lost his seeming animosity and suspicion towards her and Veth, he was far too competent a leader for that.

“I think I’m going to sit out the bakery trip and see what I can do to help out,” Fjord responded pushing away from the table. The movement seemed to spook Essek a bit and she had to fight to keep her grimace of knee-jerk suspicion off of her face. He had been exceedingly shifty since he and Caleb had joined the rest of them in the dining room. Though it was more of the awkward and jumpy kind of shifty that they had seen bits and pieces of during the dinner they had together in the Xhorhaus. _If that’s the result of leaving him alone with his crush, then I don’t see how Caleb could miss it,_ glancing back at Veth she caught the Halfing’s not so subtle eye roll at both wizards. Still she had a long way to go before she could forgive him for what he had done even if his actions made more sense now after the information she had overheard last night; though she would need to wait until she could corner him to ask certain questions in order to confirm the hypothesis that had started to form during that conversation.

“Are there any taboos as to how you lay your dead to rest? If you don’t mind I would like to offer my services in that respect,” Caduceus’ low rumble of a voice stirred her out of her thoughts. A quick observation of Essek’s brother allowed her to catch the surprised and faintly pleased expression that flitted across his face for the briefest of moments at the offer. _How bad are things here that a simple kindness such as that is appreciated? Though come to think of it the Dynasty forces that were here yesterday did all return to Rosohna as soon as the fighting was over yesterday._

“Ah, most of our people are followers of the Luxon and what is done with the body after death is not really as important as looking towards the next life to come for those fortunate enough to be consecuted. If there are any among those who don’t follow the Luxon’s tenants their burial and funerary rites are on record with our attached clerics,” It was only because she was looking at Caduceus that Beau caught the faint grimace at that revelation. Most likely the knowledge that the body was treated as a discarded shell instead of the last piece of a departed individual. _Yeah Consecution would definitely not be something that he would agree to_ , she thought remembering the uncomfortably personal conversation she had spied upon last night.

One by one they all decided what they were going to do before they left either to return to the ship or go back to the Xorhaus. Veth predictably chose to go to the bakery with Jester, Essek, and Caleb, clearly unwilling to leave Essek and Caleb relatively alone. Yasha offered to help clean up and lend her strength if needed, a part of her wanted to tag along and watch but she wasn’t as strong as either Yasha or Jester and would most likely be more of a hindrance than a help at that point. Especially if she had to see her friend lifting debris larger and heavier than she was, that was a situation that would end only in her own humiliation. She was still trying to decide what to do; she wasn’t interested in the bakery and knowing Caleb the way she did he would take it as an attempt to keep an eye on Essek, which she could admit was a valid suspicion, if she did go. She was utterly uninterested in Fjord and Cad’s Wildmother stuff, not really her scene and honestly given that she was human her assistance probably wouldn’t be welcomed by most of the citizens here.

“And what would you like to do?” Verin’s question caught her off guard though she probably should have seen it coming. A thought occurred to her, that she could probably find out more about Essek from his brother, he probably would see right through her and tell her no but it was worth a shot.

“Actually I was wondering if I could tag along with you for a bit. Learn more about this place,” she tried to sound casual about it but she could feel the suspicious looks that Essek and some of her friends trained on her back even as she met Verin’s silver gaze. A gaze which turned calculating as he pondered her request. Suddenly she was able to see the resemblance to Essek that she had been unable to see yesterday when they had been introduced. _He’s not going to say yes, it would be crazy. Even if Essek appears to trust us we’re outsiders from a former (as of a month ago) range of enemy and enemy aligned regions, it would be insane to let me tag along and see the workings of what appears to essentially be a fort city. Just because they have peace now and aren’t overtly threatening war doesn’t mean that both sides aren’t still sending their agents to gather vulnerabilities and information for when the peace fails._

Verin continued to meet her gaze his previously open and friendly expression becoming more and more inscrutable the longer it took for him to answer her. Finally he spoke, “I’m going to be working on writing the casualty letters for those of my people that fell yesterday. I am afraid that it won’t be terribly entertaining, especially since I have rather more to finish today than usual, due to _someone_ deciding that I needed to take a break a last night.”

His voice rose pointedly on the word ‘someone’ calling out his brother; even if she hadn’t spied upon both brothers last night she would have been able to tell from tone of voice whom that statement was directed at. For a moment it seemed that Essek had forgotten that they were there as he responded clearly needled by Verin’s comment, “Oh I don’t know, Commander Icozorin clearly appreciated the fact that she didn’t find you passed out at your desk…again.”

“I see, then I don’t suppose that any of your people would be up for a friendly spar?” After all if she couldn’t find information out about Essek from Verin she could certainly find out information about Verin from his people. Besides she tended to think better when she was moving anyway it allowed things to settle into patterns in her head and click into place. It was meditation no matter what that asshole Zeenoth tried to tell her and she honestly needed it right now in order to make sense of what all she had learned yesterday and last night. She needed to sort out her feelings about Essek, about what was hurt, betrayal, and outrage compared to when she pared those emotions away and looked at the facts what an appropriate course of action should be. _I’m an expositor, I can’t let my emotions cloud my judgement in decision like this and I think I have been somewhat. I stand by my belief that he needs to answer to what he’s done but I haven’t looked at all the evidence with a clear head._

“If that’s the case then I’m sure that I can find a few who would be willing to cross fists with you. Besides it would be good for them to get some hand to hand experience since there’s not much call for it here in this posting unless someone gets a bit too into their cups off duty and gets a little unruly. Who knows I might even take you up on it myself when I finish the casualty reports if you’re still at it.” That was a generous offer and one that she hoped he followed through on. Something told her that he wouldn’t be an easy fight and fighting an Echo Knight hand to hand in a friendly spar would be an interesting way to get a closer look at their abilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verin vrs Beau who do you think would win? Hopefully the chapter will cooperate with me since it didn't manage to allow me to fit it in this chapter.


	11. Verin/Beau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Beau and Verin spar and a serious talk is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter doesn't read too clunky writing combat is hard, especially one on one combat, without it getting bogged down into formulaic person A does this and person B retaliates like so. I tried to avoid that as much as possible but I'm not sure I succeeded. I also took a little bit of creative license with Beau's Extract Aspects by using the description from the original Way of the Cobalt Soul from the Tal'dorei Campaign setting book (which allowed the DM to give additional not quite useful information about the target in addition to their strengths, weaknesses, and immunities/special abilities) instead of the updated version that Matt implemented for Campaign 2.

It took him far longer than he would have liked to finish the casualty reports and the Den notification letters, the latter taking far less time than the former had. It was a sad fact that most of his people posted here didn’t have a Den to notify; all the people who would have needed to be notified of their death already knew because they lived here. He had known that this was going to be a lonely assignment the moment he took it; had known that there was a high likelihood he wouldn’t survive it. This posting had killed his father and would most likely kill him too. He had made his peace with that; after all it had, in his mind, been a small price to pay for the freedom of being away from his Mother and brother and the politics that they seemed to thrive on.

What he hadn’t expected was how much he would end up caring about the people under his command. That seeing how many others chose this life and this outposting to try for a chance to better their station in life away from the rigid beliefs and culture that ruled Rosohna with velvet sheathed iron claws would affect him so. He hadn’t expected to ever feel anything other than dread, exhaustion, and mild distaste towards his older brother no matter how much he had always wished otherwise. Now every loss in every battle felt like blow to the gut, a failure to obsess over and figure out where the weak points were and how to try and prevent them in future battles. Now the thought of this posting killing him wasn’t an inevitability that he could live with because it was a price he would pay to ensure that he was free and his life had meant something even if he didn’t have any previous ones lending him experience and wisdom beyond his years; it instead filled him worry because he was afraid of what it might mean not only for his people but for what it would do to his brother.

_I’m worried about him,_ he thought as he put the steel nibbed pen down finished with it at last, _I am afraid of how my death will affect him. he’s already so worried about his friend’s lives. Any one of us falling prey to death might send him crashing back down into that shuttered and icy façade if only to protect his heart. I need to stay alive because he was right he will lose his friends one by one and so very quickly by our people’s standards and then he may only have me left for this lifetime and his next might not have any of us in it at all._ This line of thought wasn’t going to do him any good and would only make the buzzing energy of frustration simmering under his skin worse. A glance out the window revealed that the streets had mostly been cleared of debris and corpses though in deepening overcast of afternoon he could make out what looked several large outcroppings of fungi and what might have been other types of vegetation though they looked out of place and strange. Clearly grown with magic as nothing that verdant or leafy grew in the wastes of the Barbed Fields not with it’s proximity to the ghost lands.

One of Essek’s friends must’ve been responsible for it and he wondered if they would stay that lush and vibrant or if the pall and atmosphere of this place would cause them to wither away in short order. Thinking back to the impossible tree he had seen silhouetted against the Rosohna skyline that he knew marked the house of his brother’s friends, _the plants are definitely their fault._ Even now he could see some of the their few civilian dependents examining the clusters of foliage as the tall, pink haired Firbolg gently shooed them off or talked in depth with others. Belatedly he realized that the ones he stopped and talked to the most were those who had someone’s name or names on the casualty list he had just finished. Caduceus was some sort of cleric remembered absently though he had forgotten to ask which deity he served; however, given the burgeoning flora that had sprung up he could hazard a guess. It would seem that his specialty though was taking care of the dead and grieving. Somehow, without even knowing it, Essek had managed to bring exactly what his people needed the most to them even if it was only for a little less than two days.

Turning away from the window the buzzing under his skin that had quieted down somewhat flared with a vengeance causing him to pace the length of his study. He needed to do something otherwise he’d end up pacing like a caged Moorbounder until Honor came in and demanded that he do something more productive with that energy like spar with her. _Sparring! I did tell Beauregard that I might take her up on her wish to spar and perhaps I can use the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone so to speak._

Heading down the stairs and out of the manse into the streets Verin set to work looking for his brother’s friend. Winding through the streets he got a better view of the lush vegetation and fungi outcroppings and realized that they appeared to be growing on bones. Taking a closer look he could see a virulently purple mushroom that looked like it was bleeding black liquid was growing out of the eye socket of a humanoid sized vulture skull. _All of these are the demons that attacked us…_ slowing down to a stop he marveled briefly at the beauty, warped and twisted as it was in a lot of ways, that came out of what had been a brutal attack. Verin shook his head and continued on closer towards the barracks and administration buildings.

Verin could hear the cheers and groans of the sparring spectators long before he came across actual sparring site. The training grounds behind one of the barracks had been cleared of any bodies or debris and a rough approximately forty feet in diameter had been scraped into the dusty surface of the ground. Inside the circle Beauregard and one of his newer recruits circled each other warily each sporting bruises and scrapes indicating that the first entanglement of the spar had been more evenly matched than either party expected. His people parted relatively silently for him as he drew closer and closer to edge of the circle waiting for one of the participants to make their move. This close up he could see that the monk’s opponent was one of his problem soldiers. A young glory hungry member of Den Mirimm whose arrogance meant that he regularly put them on perimeter and scouting patrols to lessen the amount of collateral damage they could do.

Finally it seemed the watch member was tired of circling the monk and rushed in to close with her, pulling up short as if they were going to throw a punch but dropping instead at the last moment to try and take her footing out from under her. Even from here Verin could see that Beauregard had seen right through the move. She had settled into a stance that was perfectly balanced to allow her to shift her weight as needed in a quick reaction to counter most attacks. As he expected she leaped over the sweeping leg using the momentum to propel her forwards with a nasty punch to the jaw. Wincing in sympathy for the soldier, he may have been an arrogant glory hound with a superiority complex but that hit was a brutal one, Verin hoped that their clerics weren’t too tapped from yesterday’s aftermath in order to fix both combatants injuries.

He watched as both opponents started to circle again testing the waters for any advantage, it was clear to him that she was not using the full extent of her fighting style’s prowess. He supposed he couldn’t blame her though hand to hand combat was not a style commonly used in the Dynasty so it probably wasn’t as challenging for her as she had hoped. It appeared that her opponent had not deigned to use their Echo Knight training against her either, though if he was reading this individual correctly that was more due to the fact that they appeared to be disdainful of the fact that she was Human and from the Empire. That arrogance was going to get them killed if he couldn’t find a way to break them of it. Still if for nothing else watching this sparring match was good for telling him where his soldier’s weaknesses were and to give him a solid idea of strategy for his own spar with the monk.

*********

 _This_ _is going to be over soon_ , she thought as she observed her opponent circling her. They were clearly young, younger even than Verin, and it showed though not necessarily in their physical features. They had the same kind of ageless androgynous features that Bryce did though writ in negative with longer more pointed ears. No, their youth showed mostly in their demeanor a sneering kind of arrogance that was clearly born of disdain for the fact that she was Human and from the Empire. It was in the fact that they refused to use their Echo Knight abilities against her even when it would clearly give them an advantage. She feinted left slightly to see what they would do and as she expected they side stepped to the right in anticipation of a blow that didn’t come. So far this was less challenging than a tavern pit fight which was disappointing. She could almost win this fight without thinking about it.

It had, however, gotten her to the mental state she needed to allow connections to start falling into place. Her opponent shifted their weight forward, _another charge then_ , she thought. They were taller than she was but she was heavier, which meant that they were going to try for her knees again this time with a tackle. Sure enough they rushed in low which she was easily able to slip out of the way followed by a wild punch that was easily dodged. _This is too easy,_ she blocked the next punch knocking their hand away before following through with a cupped strike to their right ear. That should jar their head a bit if it didn’t rupture their eardrum. _Stop fucking around and take me seriously!_ She could hear heckling coming from the crowd around the edges of the makeshift circle, mostly aimed at her opponent. _One more charge and I’m ending this_ , Beau though to herself.

This time they decided to try and rush from the side, bending backwards and planting her hands in the dusty ground she kicked up to catch their neck in between her thighs and allow their momentum to carry her the of the way through the move landing the two of them in the dirt. She could hear the wind get knocked out of their lungs and she kicked herself up to her feet and proceeded to pin her opponents limbs to the dirt. Immediately she heard the crowd around her begin counting down to ten in Undercommon. The individual beneath her started struggling trying to free at least one of their limbs from her pin, but it was no use. The countdown ended and her opponent slumped back into the dirt clearly frustrated. Levering herself to her feet Beau reached down to offer a hand up to her opponent. At first it looked like they were going refuse, but they apparently caught sight of someone in the crowd and grudgingly reached a hand up catch hers. Pulling them upright she asked, “Do I qualify enough respect now to get your name?”

Again quick glance towards the edge of the circle before they answered her question, “Jhael of Den Mirimm.” It was grudging but she’d take it and in turn she decided to add some friendly advice because if they were telegraphing their intentions this clearly fighting hand to hand then it was sure to be worse with a two foot long hunk of sharpened steel extending their arm movements.

“You telegraph your moves, it made it really easy to figure out what your next one would be. It’ll get you killed in an actual fight,” Jhael sneered at her slightly and dropped her hand as soon as they could. Before they could turn away and she could ask for the next contestant a familiar voice called out, “She’s right but in your defense hand to hand combat is not a fighting style that most of us specialize in. However it’s still something that needs to be corrected every single one of you is necessary and vital to the defense of this outpost and the lost of any of you is devastating blow.”

Looking up to see Verin standing at the edge of the ring a calculating look in his eyes, for the first time since they were introduced Beau could see the resemblance to Essek. It seemed as if he had been watching, analyzing, and mapping her fighting style before he sparred with her himself. It was sneaky; but she could appreciate it. If nothing else it meant that she was going to have a challenging fight on her hands which was just the way she liked it. Deciding to go ahead and toss the challenge out into the ring she called, “Care to see if you fare any better than your soldiers? After all not a single one of them has fought me using their echoes, why don’t you show me how they match up.”

She watched as that calculating gleam got brighter for a second before a sly smirk curled its way up his lips. _Gotcha_ , she thought gleeful anticipation singing along her skin. She needed one last good fight that would take all of her higher attention in order for her subconscious to work out that last snarl of information into something that she could use. The smirk turned into a slightly wicked grin and he replied, “I think I can spare the time to give you a bit of a challenge.”

As she looked on Verin stripped off the tunic he was wearing, clearly intending not to give her anything beyond his braid that she could use to grab him, and walked into the rough ring. She could see how he would be considered attractive if she had been attracted to men. He was built similarly to herself long, lean, and wiry musculature indicating that he relied on his agility and speed primarily in his fighting style; but, much like Jester whose physical strength was deceptively hidden until it suddenly wasn’t, the way his arms flexed as he ran through a few loosening warm up stretches told her that he could pack some power behind his blows. Already she could tell that he was confident in his abilities in a way the others she had fought today had not been; which meant that she was going to need to be careful he was coming in fresh and she had already sparred with three (admittedly easy) opponents.

“What are the parameters for victory?” He asked her that calculating analytical look back in expression. Doing a few stretches of her own to loosen abused muscles she answered with the same faux formality as his question, “First to pin the other for ten seconds or first to forced the other out of the ring. Since I hope you’re you’re not going to go easy on me the rules for your echo will be, if it can pin me it counts but it cannot be used to assist you in pinning me. If it is removed from the ring it’s out and cannot rejoin the fight. Those terms work for you?”

He grinned at her fox-like and replied, “I’m amenable to those terms.”

They both circled each other for a bit each waiting for the other to make the first move. Watching the way he moved she hoped that he would get impatient as she settled into her Patient Defense form to wait. She needed to conserve her energy if she was going to have a chance at winning this fight and if she could manage to force him to expend his own on her then just she might be able to wear him down to the point where they were on even footing so to speak. Suddenly his form seemed to ripple, blur, and then split into two misty grey forms wearing the armor she had seen him wearing yesterday during the battle that then fanned out to flank her. _What the fuck he can summon two of them?!_ Dismay colored her thoughts for a brief moment.

“Three on one is a little unfair don’t you think, didn’t believe you could beat me in a fair fight?” Beau exclaimed pitching her voice to mildly annoyed and vaguely mocking. Verin just laughed at her that calculating gaze sharpening his features into something predatory.

“You did ask for me to use my abilities, it isn’t my fault that you didn’t know the extent of them before challenging me. Though I suppose that I could go easy on you and dispel one of them if you truly don’t feel confident enough in your own capability to deal with them,” his taunting words caused her teeth to grit as indignation flared in her chest. _Dammit! He’s right. I did challenge him without knowing what the full extent of his abilities was. I made the mistake of assuming that his abilities were similar to the Resonant Echo spell that Caleb and Essek could cast and that he would only be able to summon one. Dairon is going to kick my ass for this mistake if she ever finds out about it._

“Nope, I said to give me a challenge and you’re giving me a challenge alright. I can’t complain about that,” she was going to have to work three times as hard to win this fight. Breathing out Beau let her senses flow outward listening for any tells that would let her know if the echos moved, though she kept her eyes on Verin he was the one that she needed to be the most concerned with. Sure enough she heard a faint displacement of air, only noticeable because she had been listening for it, behind her shoulder and to her left; leaning her body back to avoid the blow from the echo she dropped down to try and sweep the legs out from under it only to have abort and dart back out of range as the second echo rushed to try and grab her around the waist.

Letting out a huff of frustration she began to circle, mapping out her options. She could hear the faint whisper of displaced air that she had marked earlier as the echos’ movement, once again coming from behind her to her left and her right. Beau needed to get out of flanking range if she wanted any hope of actually landing a blow. Keeping her eyes on Verin she noticed that he had begun to mirror her circling moving with a fluid stalk that was reminiscent of their Moorbounders and Frumpkin, deliberate and predatory.

 _I have to focus on him, he’s the biggest threat,_ the thought gave her a strategy to go off of. If she focused on Verin instead of the echos she might be able to get the upper hand. She couldn’t assume that the echoes were like the ones created by Caleb and Essek’s spell in that they could only take one hit before dissipating; however, they were definitely less sturdy than Verin himself which meant that he was the most important player in this fight. The sound of displaced air rushing at her again reached her ears and this time instead of dodging out of the way she turned into the echo’s charge knocking it’s blow aside and swinging with one of her own. Only for her wrist to be caught by the second one that took advantage of her focus on the first’s attack.

 _This is getting annoying,_ Beau thought to herself even as she had to duck out of the way of the second blow from the first echo and quickly using her her forearm as leverage against the arm of the echo currently holding her wrist, forcing it to break its grip on her. _They’re fairly solid; but I haven’t truly dealt any damage to them so how solid or sturdy they are is still mystery. Still I’m not getting anywhere like this._

Now that she was free the echo’s grapple, Beau shifted her weight to her right foot leaning forwards slightly and pushed off into a sprint not caring if she invited attacks from both echoes. Using the momentum of her sprint to add weight to her blow she swung at Verin grinning ferally as soon as it became clear that it was going to connect. Except his form blurred, shimmered, and in his place stood one of the echoes futilely trying to block as her hand impacted where its face should have been and after a suggestion of resistance proceeded to pass through it causing the echo to dissipate with a slight pop. Lacking the impact that she expected Beau was forced to turn the almost stumble into a spin that put her around almost face to face with the remaining echo.

 _Good to know, they can only take one hit, that makes things easier._ She could see the strategy that he was working now, get her to exhaust herself against the echoes and then swoop in to finish her off. It was pragmatic and ruthless and she could respect that, as annoying as it was. It also was a challenge, it wasn’t easy, and it was taking everything she had and all her focus to figure out how, where, and when to move and attack. He was holding his own even though she could tell that hand to hand wasn’t his specialty though he had clearly had some training in it. No his best weapon was his ability to strategize. She bent over backwards, hands hitting the dusty ground kicking her legs up as she did so to wrap around the torso of the echo, and letting the momentum of the back handspring throw the echo out of the ring. It vanished with a slight popping sound before impacting the ground, re-focusing her attention on Verin as soon as her feet touched the ground she noticed that he looked a little sturdier than he had before as if he had managed to absorb some of the dispelled echo’s vitality.

 _He's out of echoes so he can’t use the bait and switch move again_ , she thought the feral grin widening baring teeth. The aches and pains from her earlier sparring matches faded away into the back of her mind as her skin began to prickle with the electric frisson of anticipation. Launching herself forwards she drew on the well spring of energy in her core as she closed with him unleashing a flurry of blows. If she couldn’t find anything out about him from his soldiers then she would find out from him. As the first blow hit his torso just below his right collarbone, she got a flash of a Drow woman dressed in pale ivory that bore an eerie similarity to Essek lips tightened into an icy disapproving grimace, her eyes quickly shifting from disappointment to disinterest. Her other fist landed on his sternum just above his heart the impact bringing with it another image this time of a much younger looking Essek with long hair partially braided back out of his face in white robes trimmed with silver walking out of a chamber looking pale and hollow eyed. Her last blow landed somewhere near his stomach and she saw the Drow woman from the first vision, obviously his mother, and Essek standing in the teleportation room of the Lucid Bastion staring at the teleportation circle waiting as it lit up revealing seven individuals in the armor of the Echo Knights six of whom were carrying a coffin. Somehow she knew that the leader in front was Verin’s second in command even though they were clearly male and Drow.

That was a bit different the vision flashes along with suddenly knowing that he was primarily right handed but mildly ambidextrous. He also had an old injury to his ribs that was a weak point but not debilitating. Along with the answer to her earlier observation in that he could absorb the potentiality of his echoes to bolster his own vitality temporarily, but he could only do it once. 

Dropping low she went to try and sweep his legs out from under him but he managed to stumble back out of her reach, his form beginning to shimmer and blur again. _Not again, how many times can he do that?_ Beau snarled to herself as two echoes split off from his body once again moving into flanking position. If she had her staff this would be so much easier. He was going to keep using the echoes as a shield unless she could get rid of them, either by throwing them out of the ring or by dissipating them.

The best way to deal with them would be to let them come to her, backing up until her heels were just within the edge of the circle beau settled into the stance of her Patient Defence. They might still be able to flank her but they couldn’t get behind her without stepping out of the ring, of course it also meant that she could only go forwards and to the sides if she didn’t want to accidentally forfeit. Catching her breath she settled in to wait for her next opportunity, conserving and consolidating her energy. It’s a shame they have such an audience because she would have loved to use her knowledge of pressure points to use that energy inside her core to Extract Truth and see if she could get some of the answers to her questions.

An errant thought occurred to her as Beau watched the echoes advance if she understood anything of Caleb and Essek’s nerdy talk about the Resonant Echo spell the echo that is summoned is an echo of a collapsed possible timeline then theoretically her Extract Aspects should work on them. It was tempting and maybe she would ask Caleb if he would summon his echo sometime for her to test it but right now she was going to save that trick solely for Verin to see what other information she could glean from him. Shoving the thought back down into the back of her mind she began running through various possible attacks that the echoes or Verin could throw at her. The most obvious one would be an attempt to shove her out of the circle, most likely an attempt to block her chance to escape and crowd her so she couldn’t move. The other possibility would be one trying to take out her legs and topple her backwards so that she landed out of the circle. 

Judging by the way both echoes and now Verin were beginning to converge on her it seemed like they had chosen option one. The echos would be easier to hit, they weren’t quite as fast as their progenitor was; however, in the end it was him she needed to pin or force out of the circle. _There!_ Beau spotted an opening in their formation that would allow her to get out of their pincer maneuver. All she needed to do was wait until they got a little bit closer to her and she could shoot through it and hopefully take out the echo in the process.

She almost wished that they had left some of the debris in this makeshift ring so that she could use the height angle to her advantage but then it wouldn’t have been just a friendly spar. Shifting just enough so that she lowered her center of gravity she pushed off into a rush that carried her through the gap. As she did so she caught a blow to the kidney that sent an explosion of pain rocketing through her body. She began to stumble but managed to turn it into a roll that carried her to her feet. Blinking back tears of pain from Verin’s blow, Beau assessed her odds.

 _Fuck_ _he hits hard._ _At least_ _I’m no longer pincered but_ _I’m flankable from behind again._ _He’s_ _going to keep me on the run until_ _I’m exhausted. Harry me with the echoes force me to keep moving. I wonder…._ The one echo was still just a little too close to the edge of the circle and it would be her best shot at beginning to level the playing field between herself and Verin again. Launching herself at it she leaned into the punch letting the momentum start building from her back foot adding power to the blow that her strength alone couldn’t. This move would invite another possible attack from Verin but hopefully it would take that echo out. Her fist hit the echo with that same slight resistance and sudden dissipation from before. This time though she had been prepared for the sudden loss of resistance and slowed her momentum just enough that she was able to plant her right foot and use it as rotation point to bring her back around to face the remaining echo and Verin. 

The echo was far enough away from her that it would need to actually sprint to get to her; but, it was also close enough that if he tried that swapping places bullshit again she would be able to change course fairly quickly. _The echo or its creator?_ _Fuck_ _it, he’s closer_ _I_ _don’t need to use as much energy to get to him._ Aiming low to try and take his feet out from under him Beau dropped into a slide hoping she could at least unseat his dominant foot. Blur, shimmer, and the echo was suddenly standing where Verin had been was dispelled suddenly enough that the impact she had been counting on to use as leverage into a standing position never came. Beau used her arm and the knee that was dropped closest to the ground to push herself onto her feet again, breathing heavily and not in the most steady of stances. Which was exactly what he intended as he came in from the side aiming another blow towards her diaphram this time to try and knock the wind out of her.

Barely managing to deflect that blow she retaliated with one of her own aimed at the poorly healed rib that missed by a hair’s breadth. Reaching for that energy wellspring again she focused on hitting more pressure points trying to figure out how many times he could summon his echoes because if he managed to do it another time this fight would be over. Pop, pop, pop each blow fell in succession again accompanied by the expected information on his weaknesses and strengths but also oddly accompanied by flashes of what must be memories as well. The knowledge that he would only be able to summon his echoes two more times before he was tapped out was accompanied by an image of Essek clearly on one of the walkways of his tower looking out over Rosohna with the most open expression she had ever seen on his face outside of the night in the cargo-hold of the BallEater, it was a mixture of desolation and longing that she wasn’t sure how to process. The fact that he fought with a scimitar primarily but preferred fighting with a short sword and dagger also came with the image of standing in front of a heavy ornate desk as the Dusk Captain held out a roll of parchment sealed with the Dynasty’s official seal. The ability to use his echoes to shield others close to him followed hand in hand with Essek holding out a what looked like a smooth flat river stone a hopeful look on his face.

Shaking her head to clear the influx of information she had skip backwards to avoid the sweeping leg Verin aimed at her ankles. She could tell that it put him slightly off balance but he managed to turn the thwarted move into a lunge carrying him around towards the side where he had landed the blow to her kidney previously. Beau twisted her torso enough to deflect the blow but doing so left her stance slightly off balance enough that she wasn’t prepared for him to hook his foot behind her ankle and take her to the ground. It was over, that much she knew, there was no way that she could get back up on her feet before he could pin her; but, still if she could keep one leg free or get enough leverage with both feet and her hips she might be able to roll him and reverse the pin.

Just as Beau expected as soon as her back hit the ground with bruising force he immediately dropped onto her, his hands pinning her wrists to the ground leaning his weight forward to use his forearms to pin hers to the ground so she couldn’t use her elbows as leverage. Using his hips to immobilize hers he went one step farther and hooked his legs around hers forcing them just wide enough that the angle was too awkward to get enough momentum to bridge her hips to buck him off and roll. She let herself go limp as she heard the crowd counting down from ten. She had been beaten, not exactly fair and square, but that’s what she got for throwing that challenge out without knowing what Verin was capable of so she couldn’t be too upset about it. Next time though she’d be prepared and it would be a completely different fight then. Maybe she’d even suggest they toss in weapons just to add another interesting dynamic to it.

The count ended Verin got to his feet with a wince, she had managed to catch that bad rib in her last flurry of blows and he was clearly feeling it, and extended a hand to help her up. Now that she wasn’t focusing on the fight subconsciously relegating the pain of her injuries to the back of her mind everything hurt. Beau could tell she was going to be a walking bruise tomorrow if Jester or Caduceus didn’t take pity on her. Reaching up to take his hand she allowed him to help pull her onto her feet with a groan.

“Good fight, it was certainly a challenge,” she said as he did so, “next time I’ll be expecting your tricks so you won’t be able to run me all over the ring like you did this time.” 

Verin grinned at her, a crooked smile that did little to hide the smug satisfaction over his win, before replying, “I look forward to it; but, perhaps we should go see if one of the clerics will take pity on us and remove the consequences of this fight.”

Beau could feel herself echoing his grin and following his statement with a chuckle that reminded her of the ribs that had taken abuse in the past in the past hour and half. Reaching out she gave him a light punch to his shoulder, pleased to see that he didn’t even rock with it the way Caleb did when she did that, and said, “I agree, let’s go hope that they will take pity on us.”

The two of them made their way through the crowd of soldiers and civilians that had gathered to watch their sparring match, much more than there had been originally, though they parted readily to let the two of them through. Everywhere she looked she could the respect and admiration on their faces for Verin. Sure there were a few sour faces here or there that she couldn’t be sure if they were because of her or aimed at him; but, over all she could see how much his people adored him. That more than anything convinced her that if she chose to give him her trust that it might not be misplaced. From what little she had gleaned about the situation here he reminded her very much of Bryce doing everything they could to protect Alfield with the meager resources they were given.

 _I really like you, don’t make me regret it like Essek did._ The thought was fleeting and Beau thought that she had managed to hide it but as they walked through the streets back towards the manse and presumably the rest of her friends Verin spoke quietly, “You didn’t know my brother before his consecution, so you don’t know just how much of a difference you’ve wrought on him. He was always a little on the aloof side and more inclined to introspection than gregariousness but after his consecution it was as if he locked everything away, every shred of emotion, until there was nothing visible but the court-perfect mask he wanted everyone to see.”

He paused for a moment and the hair on the back of her neck began to prickle in unease. She cast a wary eye towards him to try and catch his expression; but, he was carefully not looking at her instead preferring to stare straight ahead as they walked. He exhaled slightly, “It got worse after our father’s death. For the last half century I have watched a stranger walk around wearing my brother’s face. So imagine my surprise when a month ago I come back to Rosohna and find my brother showing more emotion than I can remember him ever showing in last century. That he’s shown more care for things outside of his own interests simply because they were important to me or to you and your friends.”

The prickling unease was rapidly becoming a serious twang of alarm as he stopped and turned slightly to face her. She had wondered how he and Essek could possibly be related given how different they seemed to be and also how someone the equivalent age of twenty could keep control of a military outpost this size, seeing how cold and flat his gaze had become she could understand it now. His next words confirmed it, “I am going to say this clearly as I can. I know there is some bad blood between you and my brother; I don’t know the exact circumstances nor do I wish to. Just know that if you or your friends ever do anything that causes him to revert back to the way he was before…” His words trailed off slightly before he picked up the threat again, “you’d best hope that you are already dead. I don’t care if you are heroes of the Dynasty. I don’t care if I cannot get all of you. I don’t even care if you flee back to the Empire. I will find you and make you regret that fact even if it costs me my life. I hope we understand each other.”

As soon as the last words left his mouth he turned and continued walking towards his home, the coldness and ruthless demeanor beginning to fall away with every step until if she hadn’t seen it herself Beau wouldn’t believe he was capable of it. Shaking herself a bit to get herself moving she began following after him unsure as to which was the real face of the man she had just fought, another puzzle piece added to bigger picture that she was trying to assemble. Against her better judgement she couldn’t stop herself from saying when she caught up to him, “You going give all of us that speech?”

He glanced back at her and responded a grim not quite smile on his lips, “Only the ones that I think need to hear it.”

Before Beau could figure out a response to that without dropping the Essek was the one who stole the Beacons bombshell (which as much as a part of her wanted to do so, it wasn’t something she would do without consulting or at least warning the rest of the Nein first), Verin sighed the last of the tension flowing from his shoulders he said, “I like you all, really I do. I would like to get to know all of you better, if only because you all make Essek happy. I hated the person he became after his consecution, to point where I volunteered to be posted here knowing that it would probably mean this would be my first and only life. Simply to escape Rosohna and a brother who was becoming more like our mother everyday right down to the politics. Somehow you and your friends managed to break through that to the point where I finally have a brother. So thank you for that, just know that I will do everything in my power to protect it.”

One of the puzzle pieces that she had been mulling over suddenly snapped into place. Essek hadn’t lied to them about his relationship with his Den, it seemed that in their absence, when they left him alone and floundering, after the peace talks he had latched onto the next person who offered their hand in affection. Gods they had been so lucky that it had been Verin, someone who genuinely cared and not someone from the Cerberus Assembly or worse. It didn’t help to assuage the slight flare of guilt at the fact that they had offered him a place with them and as soon as he wasn’t around to hear had almost immediately rescinded it and called for his punishment. 

Taking a deep breath that caused her bruised ribs to twinge unpleasantly she caught up to him and said, “I think I understand. I have a little brother, there’s almost a twenty-one year age gap between us. He’s around two right now, and all I can think is that I pray he doesn’t grow up to be like Thoreaux. If I had any say in it he wouldn’t; but, I couldn’t even stand to be back in my parents house for a day.” 

Her words finally broke the lingering tenseness that had settled between them and he smiled at her, a little more genuinely than before, then companionably swayed towards her just enough to give her a light companionable shove with his shoulder, “Come on let’s go hunt down Jester. I have a feeling she’ll be more sympathetic towards our injuries than Caduceus would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the spar was primarily to make a point to Beau and so he did deliberately stack the odds in his favor by going all out and using the Echo Knight's 18th level ability called Legion of One which allows you to summon two echoes at a time as many times as is equal to your con modifier. I chose to make Verin a lvl 20 Echo Knight since I couldn't find a way to justify him not being level 20 after spending two decades leading an outpost that is pretty much an active front against the hordes of the abyss to the point that even the non-military citizens take up arms and fight when Umbra Gates open.


	12. Caduceus/Essek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Caduceus decides Bazzoxan needs all the grief counseling and Essek offers a choice in spells and emotional vulnerability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story has officially been hijacked by the characters, and I have lost control of the plot. This chapter was supposed to be Veth and Essek. Veth observing and maybe getting a little more perspective and Essek getting some nice study time with Caleb. Instead Caduceus decided that these people need all the grief counseling and Essek decided to pull a Caleb and angst instead of letting himself have nice things.....This is why this fic is approximately 48,662 words longer than I anticipated it being.

Caduceus sighed as the last demonic corpse was overtaken with fungus and plant life. They had been needed here, desperately. Verin’s people reminded him of the small stubborn trees that grew above the tree-line on mountains. Stubborn and strong-willed, yes, but also hurting for nutrients and care. It wasn’t anything that Verin did, as far as he could tell Essek’s brother was practically running himself into the ground to provide all he could for his people. He was glad that Essek had someone like Verin to turn to, it was doing wonders for him. Essek had been like a seed that had too long laid dormant, almost dried out and dead; but, with enough water and coaxing could be convinced to sprout and bloom. The Mighty Nein had started that process and he had seen the results in the hold of the ship; however, they had left him alone for quite some time and if you stopped feeding and coaxing a plant that had already almost died before it sprouted, well, it would start to wither twice as fast as ones that hadn’t had that hardship. He had worried that Essek would start to wither again without their care and affection. Even more so after the discussion that had happened after he had left at the conclusion of the peace talks. However, it seemed that Verin had stepped in to provide that attention and care which Essek needed in their absence. He didn’t think the others could see yet just how much Essek had grown, particularly Beau and Veth, but maybe they would soon.

Glancing over towards where Fjord and Yasha were helping several individuals brace a wall that had been damaged in the battle, Caduceus couldn’t help but smile quietly to himself. _They’ve all grown, though they don’t see it yet in themselves,_ the thought was fond and proud. They all had changed so much from when he had first met them and to be given the opportunity to watch them grow into themselves out of the hurting, scared, and angry collective of people he had set out with was something that he valued more than he would ever put into words. The sound of someone nervously clearing their throat to his left caught his attention ear flicking back slightly to catch the sound better. Turning around to look at the person who was attempting to get his attention he saw one of the Drow dressed in the trademark armor of the Echo Knights standing nervously looking as if he was debating whether or not to pretend that everything was all right and walk away. _Best let this one ask on his own, if I ask him what he needs to talk about he will deflect and walk away_ , Caduceus thought, it was funny that most Drow he met were uncannily similar to both Caleb and Beau when it came to dealing with or discussing their feelings. Though given what he had seen of the culture created around the worship of the Luxon it probably wasn’t as surprising at it should be.

Finally the soldier seemed to get up the courage to speak whatever it was that drove him to seek Caduceus out, “Vin’ya said she talked to you.”

The words were stilted and awkward as if that was not what he wanted to say, but rather something had just tumbled out without his permission. Thinking back to the many people he had talked to today, he finally managed to place name with face and Drow fighter with her hair braided around her crown to keep it out of her face came to mind. She had lost her partner in the battle yesterday and was struggling both with anger at what happened and gratitude for the burial services he had provided for the ones that fallen.

“She did,” he replied, waiting for the man to reach out on his own accord. This felt familiar even if the circumstances and location were different, the grieving all processed their loss in different ways some just wanted a shoulder, a hug, and reassurances that everything would be all right and others wanted permission to be angry but felt guilty about it. It changed from person to person and if he had to make a guess this individual probably fell into the latter category. They were usually the ones that took the longest to open up, a perceived guilt holding them back.

“She said it made her feel better…lighter. Talking to you, I mean,” yes, this one was angry and looking for permission to be. Caduceus relaxed his posture slightly leaning his weight against his staff a little more. If they had been in the Blooming Grove he would have invited this one into his family’s home to sit down and have some tea just to give them some privacy and a little sense of warmth and comfort. However, that wasn’t an option here; so he settled for altering his posture slightly and allowing it mostly block the others from the soldier’s sight. The tactic worked and he could see the thread of tension that was almost imperceptible unless one knew what they were looking for melt slightly. Sighing quietly the Echo Knight spoke again, “That’s the first they’ve ever sent help, not even when a Betrayer God’s champion and its minions came and slaughtered a third of us before moving on. Once we no longer had a Beacon we didn’t matter, not that they gave much of a shit before when we still had one either; but it was still more than they give us now.”

Caduceus stayed silent as this person bled the bitterness out in a steady stream of words offering a non-judgmental ear and a shoulder to lean on if needed. It seemed that they were deemed safe by the citizens here to express the doubts and fears that they couldn’t talk about to other citizens of the Dynasty. _Hmm, much like Essek,_ he thought, _it isn’t healthy for a population to be so afraid to express their doubts and criticisms of their leadership and culture._ Though from what he’d seen it was much the same in Empire as well, you didn’t talk about your discontent, your doubts, your fears if they involved anything to do with Empire itself lest you be seen as a disloyal citizen.

“Why did it take the _Shadowhand_ saying something for us to get aid? Why is it that a bunch of mercenaries, some of whom are humans from the Empire, and the Shadowhand stayed to help clean up and the Dusk Captain, high commander of our forces did not?” The frustrated questions spilled out even as the speaker froze eyes widening at what he had just said. Seeing that he was about to back track on what he had just said in an attempt to hurriedly do damage control Caduceus held up a hand to forestall it.

“Peace friend, I won’t tell. You’re upset and that’s alright. It’s a natural reaction. You lost someone close to you and it hurts and it feels like if something more had been done they would still be here,” he kept his words gentle and quiet. The knight’s posture gradually went from fearful to relaxed as he realized that Caduceus wasn’t going to say anything about his outburst and instead rubbed a tired hand over his face.

“My apologies I shouldn’t have thrown all that at you, it’s just Vin’ya said talking to you helped and I thought it couldn’t hurt. Most of us we can talk about it between each other but well most of us feel the same and the ones that don’t…well let’s just say you don’t dare even breathe the fact that you feel this way in their direction. I hope you don’t mind if I don’t tell you my name, I don’t have the trust that some of the younger and newer recruits do.” That was about what Caduceus expected and he didn’t mind at all. It was often times easier for people to talk about their frustration over the situation instead of admitting or talking about the source of their grief. Sometimes they just needed a gentle encouragement, like moving a struggling bud to a better patch of sunlight, in order to open up.

“Who did you lose? They must have been very important to you,” he left the question and statement open ended if this man was ready to talk he would if not then Caduceus would listen for as long he needed. The startled look that he received in return told him that he had guessed correctly. The man let out a slight huff of air, the kind that said _yeah this hurts and I don’t think it will stop_ before speaking again.

"My best friend. He was my brother in arms, I could always count on him being there covering my left side. I’m right handed he was primarily left handed so it worked out I covered his weak side, he covered mine and we sent our echoes out to cover our comrades. I keep looking to my left expecting to see him there,” the pain in his voice was raw and fresh. The emotional wounds were still clearly bleeding, reaching out towards him, giving plenty of time for him to see the hand coming and make a decision, Caduceus placed his hand on the Drow’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. Raising eyes that glittered with barely suppressed emotion the other man, took a breath and said low and bitterly, “It shouldn’t have happened. We’re trained to fight fiends. Even if we can’t afford to purchase enchanted weapons ourselves, between the Commander and the Taskhand they make sure that every last fighter has at least one enchanted edge. We’re trained to know where to hit, what works and what doesn’t. We pulled everything we knew and those bastards stayed standing and tore through us like we were paper. The worst part about it was that Rosohna didn’t care, the Umbra Gates had opened spewed forth a pair of fiends, a bone winged ink eyed Assimar, and host of minions that we were helpless to stop and they didn’t care. The Taskhand called a retreat in order to save our lives. It came too late for Valas though.”

There wasn’t a lot that he could say to that. They had tried to stop them and nearly died themselves, had been powerless to save their own friend until much later. All he could do was let him bleed the poison out, then dead head the old growth to allow for healthy foliage take its place. He didn’t know how many people here recognized Yasha; but, it seemed like, for those that had, her coming to their aid and then staying to help fix things had gone quite a long way in smoothing over any lingering hard feelings. A deep sigh brought his attention gently back to the individual in front of him, he might not be able to do much for this man but there was one thing he could do. A little bit of advice that, while it might not make the pain go away now, would help keep it from turning into a festering wound.

“From the sounds of it, he wouldn’t want you to lose yourself to bitterness. Be angry, rage if you need to, it’s all a very natural part of grief; but, remember that he would want you to be happy, to remember the good times that you had together and keep his memory alive that way. Death is just the end of the physical as long as you remember him, a piece of him is still with you,” Caduceus wasn’t sure that his advice was reaching the Echo Knight but it wasn’t up to him to make sure that he listened. All he could do was offer and let the other person make of that what they will. Though it seemed from the thoughtful furrow to the man’s brow that this time it had made an impact.

“I guess that’s a little more comforting than the usual platitudes of preparing for a next life and their return, nevermind that we’re not important enough to be consecuted so there won’t be a next life for us. It’s nice to think about there being some sort of afterlife where those of us who aren’t special enough or powerful enough to get consecuted go, where we can see those that we cared about again. It would be amusing to tell Valas about how the Shadowhand came to our aid when it looked like all was lost just because his brother asked. He’d never believe me,” there was a sad rueful smile lingering on his face as he spoke. Caduceus smiled gently in response, the wounds were still tender and would be for a great while yet but they were no longer festering.

Looking past the man towards the street where he could see the approaching forms of Jester, Veth, Caleb, and Essek, he said, “Is it really so surprising that he would come or send aid?”

“Are you kidding? The Shadowhand is the third most powerful individual in Dynasty. Everyone knows that if you’re even suspected of being disloyal to the Dynasty and the Bright Queen the Shadowhand’s agents will whisk you away and you’re never heard from again. Unless you committed a crime bad enough to warrant a public execution, like treason. I know that some parents have even used the Shadowhand as incentive for their children to behave. The very idea of him coming and fighting in a battle like yesterday’s and not only getting involved but burning the kind of power he did to give us a shot of succeeding is laughable,” he paused and gave a slight huff of laughter, “at least it was laughable, until yesterday. Not only did he come, he convinced the Bright Queen to send reinforcements, and then brought the Heroes of the Dynasty along as well…I’m still having trouble believing it. That you all came and stayed to help clean up, that you’re even taking the time to listen to me.” He trailed off at that point following Caduceus’ gaze to where Essek and his friends were walking clearly heading back to the manse that Verin had claimed as his own. Smiling his face touched with an awed sense of disbelief the Drow shook his head and said, “I should probably go, but thank you. Vin’ya was right talking to you helped.”

Nodding Caduceus watched the man go carefully skirting around the knot of his friends with a friendly wave and greeting. Even from where he was standing he could see the way that Essek was turned towards Caleb and to a lesser extent Jester. It reminded him of a flower angling itself to face the sun, he supposed that neither Essek nor Caleb realized just how much good they did each other. It had been clear to him, even from the beginning that they were good for each other. Yes there was hurt between them but much of that was able to be overcome if they could just let go of the fear that each of them held. Now if both he and Caleb could finish the process of opening up maybe they could both allow themselves to be happy, Caduceus certainly hoped so the two wizards had so much more growing left to do. It would be a shame if they let fear stop that now.

*********

The trip to Direina’s bakery had been less embarrassing than he had expected, though stressful in other ways that he hadn’t expected. Veth’s constant observation was setting his nerves on end and he wished that he had at least brought his mantle if only to give himself the familiar comfort of its shrouding folds. It had been unsurprisingly easy to convince Jester to agree to picking up baking supplies in Nicodranus for Direina’s shop even if it meant that he would be relegated to courier status. Though he privately reminded himself that he would most likely have to remind her; Jester, as fond of her as he was, and the rest of the Mighty Nein were not the best at remembering to do things in a timely manner or on a reoccurring schedule. Still it gave him an excuse to check in with them and for Jester at least to continue talking to him. For that reason alone it was worth burning his energy on powerful spells to play courier.

The four of them arrived back at his brother’s manse and Essek made a mental note to put in an order for a few practical and well woven silk rugs, the kind that would stand up to a great deal of abuse and wear like iron. If he wasn’t mistaken there were more doors missing from the last time he had been here before the battle. No doubt his brother had given them away either to replace what destroyed or, if he what he had seen was accurate, had been used to make tables for the mess halls and the Rumpus Room. Everytime he walked into Verin’s house it felt like it was half abandoned, bare and empty as his sibling had stripped almost everything useful in it to redistribute to his people. There was no doubt in his mind that if the Umavi or any others of their Den saw how Verin lived they would be appalled enough to roust themselves from their comfortable existence in Rosohna to sweep in ensure that the Manse was fixed and decorated to their degree of standards and then sweep out without so much of a by your leave. None of them would ever stop to ask why or how his brother’s abode ended up in that state. It had been hard enough learning that his sibling had melted down all but one set of jewelry, earrings, and other accessories necessary for Court appearances where formal dress and dress armor was required in order to provide materials for enchanting weapons for his people. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one that understood just how dedicated Verin was to this place and these people.

“Ah…is there somewhere we can set up for spell transcription where we won’t be disturbed or be in the way?” Caleb’s quiet question startled him out of his contemplation. The only places he could think of were his brother’s “office” which was missing its door and only had Verin’s desk for transcription and the dining room which while it had a set of double doors and the enough room at the table to for a full spellcrafting session was also more likely to invite interruptions. He was used to being interrupted while he was trying to concentrate on spells, the agents under his command often reported in at the most inconvenient of times, and he would prefer space enough for Caleb to work as well. A spell for a spell would be fair and if teaching this spell to Caleb put his mind a little more at ease well he was the only one that needed to know.

“I believe the dining room would be our best bet. Not the most secure but certainly the most comfortable and spacious enough for our needs. I have a few spells that I think you would appreciate, if you’re still interested in me teaching you Dunamancy that is,” there the offer was out and he couldn’t take it back. Essek spent a few breaths feeling like he was breathing water as anxiety in anticipation of Caleb’s answer clawed at his throat. Still he supposed that he needn’t have worried as the other wizard’s impossibly blue eyes lit up with a familiar excitement.

“Of course I’m still interested in learning Dunamancy from you,” Caleb said excitement lending a breathless quality to his words that caused an unsettling curl of emotion to thrum through him. Suddenly the excitement dimmed much to Essek’s dismay leaving him wondering what he had done wrong. Caleb paused lips pursed and brows furrowed slightly and said, “you know that you do not have to offer a spell for a spell, right? I’m not offering to let you copy the spell we created as transaction for more Dunamancy lessons. You helped create this spell, as far as I am concerned you have every right to copy it into your own spellbook, even with the hurt between us.”

 _Oh,_ there were no more words that he could assign, just _oh_. He hadn’t thought about how Caleb might take his offer teach him a spell in concurrence with copying the transformation spell they had worked on together. He wasn’t sure how to respond and the concerned furrow in the other’s brow was starting to deepen. Desperate to put Caleb’s mind at ease he stammered, “I know…I mean I…I want to give you another weapon in your arsenal so to speak.”

It was ineloquent and awkward sounding to his ears and quite clearly revealed just how desperate he was to keep the other wizard safe and through him the rest of his friends. He couldn’t stop himself from looking away from Caleb’s far too intense blue eyes, nor the way his hands reached up to cup both of his elbows, a gesture that was all-but imperceptible when he was wearing his mantle but far too obvious for his comfort right now. Forcibly making his hands relinquish their grip on his elbows, Essek made himself meet his student’s gaze once again. The concern had eased into something that he hoped was understanding and not pity, the other wizard could be surprisingly hard to read, and he had to admit, if only to himself, that he had difficulty in differentiating between the friendlier emotions when it came to other people.

“Worried about me, mein freund?” Caleb’s words were gentle and warm and Essek could feel embarrassment burning along his cheek bones and tips of his ears at how transparent he had been. Hopefully he hadn’t reached the point where the flush was intense enough that it was obvious even with the deep charcoal and violet tones of his skin, he didn’t need to invite any more pity from his student than he already had. Fighting back the impulse to chew on his lower lip he responded, with as much dignity as he could muster, “Yes, and from what little I have seen, experienced, and been told I am well justified in my concern over your safety. I, as one of your teachers and as your,” _I hope_ , “friend, would be much remiss in my tutelage if I did not give you all the tools that I could to ensure your safety and survival.”

He hoped that Caleb took the “your” as a plural usage of the word but he suspected that his feelings were all too transparent. Still in an attempt to retain some dignity he turned to push open the dining room doors gesturing towards the table. Somehow they both ended up in the chairs that Jester painted into existence, again. He suspected that they were as much a comfort to Caleb as they were to him in all their technicolor mismatched glory. Anticipating the request of paper and ink Essek made the familiar gesture to call items from his dimensional pocket and his spellbook along with a ream of paper and an inkwell of enchanting ink fell into his hands.

“Well shall we get started? There are two spells that I could feasibly teach you one is a more combat oriented Graviturgy spell, which though I know you had professed a disinterest in such spells initially I am still offering if you are interested, and another spell that is more along the lines of your interest but can be more of a double edged sword.” He couldn’t help but hope that Caleb decided on Gravity Fissure instead of Tether Essence; perhaps it was selfish of him to hope that the other wizard would choose the spell within his own specialty of Graviturgy rather than a manipulation of relationships and probability that skirted Necromancy. If he didn’t examine why he was hoping for that outcome to closely well at least he wasn’t lying to himself that way.

“Ah what are the effects of each spell?” The question was expected and perhaps he shouldn’t have given him the choice but still he would be a poor teacher indeed if he didn’t take his student’s interests into consideration. Taking a slight breath Essek opened his spellbook to Gravity Fissure, angling it so that Caleb could at least see the equations and diagrams breaking down the theory behind the spell. Noticing that the other wizard had discreetly scattered a pinch of soot and salt he presumed that the other was also skimming the Undercommon inscribed notes as well. _Well let’s see how persuasive I am,_ he thought to himself as he began to speak.

“Gravity Fissure is in essence just what its name implies, the spell creates a fissure of gravity in a hundred foot line that pulls at everything within five feet of it towards it. As you can guess this spell can do a great deal of physical damage to one’s enemies if properly placed,” pausing to turn the pages of the spellbook to Tether Essence he picked back up again, “Tether Essence in effect binds two individuals together for an hour, no matter how far away they are for the duration everything done to one the other experiences. Harm caused to one is also done to the other and vice versa. If you heal one the tethered partner also is healed. As I said it is a double edged sword, it works best if both parties are willing.” He had done his best to keep his personal emotions masked as he gave the explanations; however, he must have given away some of his emotions regarding the spells as he was suddenly faced with considering blue eyes.

“You don’t want me to learn this one, why?” _Dammit_ , he fought the instinctive urge to flinch at how easily the Caleb had seen through him. Taking a deep breath hoping that the words wouldn’t sound as bitter as they tasted in his mouth, “As I said it is a double edged sword and it would be far too easy for the caster seriously injure or even kill themselves with this spell. As I said it works best when both parties are willing, though it can be cast on the unwilling as well, it just has a higher chance of failure.”

Caleb’s brow furrowed and his lips pursed as he contemplated the explanation, and the implications that Essek had not said aloud. _I don’t want to be responsible for possibly getting any one of you killed because I gave you this spell. All of you are so reckless and find trouble like iron filings to a magnet, not to mention the danger that I have put all of you in._ He shouldn’t have offered a choice, he should have just let him copy Gravity Fissure if he wanted it and left it at that. No one would have been the wiser, certainly not Caleb; except he would have and that was the problem. The knowledge that he had deliberately withheld a spell from someone who loved magic as much as Caleb did not because of it being beyond his skill level or because of a barely there loyalty to the Dynasty; but, because of his own fear of potentially losing him would have eaten away at him. 

“Do you have so little faith in me, and in my judgment?” His tone wasn’t hurt like Essek expected it to be; but rather curious and sad. This time he couldn’t stop the slight flinch, and he could see something start harden in those piercing blue eyes. Scrambling to explain, to stop the rest of that mistrustful or cold expression from forming, the words came tumbling out, “No, not in you or your judgement, but all of you find trouble so very easily and your lives are very dangerous ones. I have seen and heard of some of the lengths that you all have gone for each other and those you care about. This spell could very easily kill the ones that it’s cast on as much as it could save them.”

He paused debating whether or not it was worth it to lay some of his fears out bare, to reveal just how much he worried and feared for them when they were out of contact. It was perilously close to admitting to the other private hopes that he was doing his level best to ignore and only take out when he felt the bite of loneliness begin to cripple him. Still he was trying to be better and a good teacher didn’t undermine their student’s faith in them so he needed to admit his own failings as well; admit to the vulnerabilities that he had spent a hundred and twenty years learning how to ruthlessly hunt down and eliminate or bury deep enough that others couldn’t find them. Taking a deep breath he continued trying valiantly to make the words come out steady and not emotional, “I worry about all of you, as I said before you all end up in very dangerous situations, the idea that I am knowingly offering you a spell that has the potential to harm and possibly kill one of you should something go wrong terrifies me.” 

A gentle look of understanding dawned on Caleb’s face and Essek had to look away from it. It stung like salt in a wound, gods it felt like he was peeling back his skin to reveal what little soul he had left and laying it bare before the other wizard. He trusted that Caleb wouldn’t use these fears and emotions against him, really he did; it was just that he had revealed in no uncertain terms just how much power the Mighty Nein had over him, just how much losing them would hurt him. It was a vulnerability that the Umavi would say was unacceptable, that he should be doing everything within his power to root out and destroy it. Except he couldn’t, at least not and quell the yawning singularity that masqueraded as his soul.

“You could have just offered me the one spell and not given me the choice. I would never have known better. Why offer the spell if it disturbs you so much the thought of me using it?” Another question that if he answered at all would it would have to be the truth as much as he wanted believe otherwise. He couldn’t stop the impulse to catch his bottom lip in his teeth before speaking, “Because I am trying to be better, a good teacher takes their student’s interests into account offering knowledge. You haven’t seemed as interested in the more combat oriented Dunamancy spells and truthfully this spell was one of the only other ones that I personally have in my spellbook. The fact that I could have just lied by omission and let you believe that I had given you all the spells that I have within you specific area of interest would have bothered me.”

 _There I’ve laid everything on the table so to speak, I’ve told the truth and didn’t dissemble too terribly much. Please just make your decision and let this go, don’t drag it out longer than it already has I’m not sure that I can take it. I was perfectly happy to keep all of this hidden so that you didn’t feel obligated or beholden to me in some way. That would only lead to resentment and I’ve already given all of you ample reason for that already._ His thoughts were starting to chase each other around in his head as he waited for Caleb’s response, his heart rate already beginning to match their pace. A hand entered his field of vision to gently lay over his own which had started to tremble where it rested on his spellbook. Looking up to meet Caleb’s searching gaze, he tried to craft a facsimile of his court polite mask if only to save his dignity and felt it fail miserably.

“I think mein freund that it would be best if I discussed this spell and its benefits and drawbacks with the rest of our friends before I make the decision to copy it. You are correct in that it could be a very unintentionally dangerous spell to cast given our goals and the situations we end up in because of them. For now I think the only spell copying should be the initial one that we agreed upon,” The words sent a flood of relief and regret coursing through his body. It wasn’t the idyllic mutual exchange of knowledge he had hoped for, but it would do. He just hoped that he hadn’t made things too terribly awkward between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I only have a loose idea of where this story is going to end. I did not intend on there being this much drama and angst in this fic....I should have known better. So sorry if this is turning into something a lot less than what you expected because honestly it's already gotten way beyond what I expected also. This originally was supposed to a fluffy three chapter fic....apparently the characters had other ideas.


	13. Fjord/Verin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fjord makes some observations while Verin and Veth have a very uncomfortable conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a lot later than I had hoped it would be, mostly because about a week ago my laptop blue screen of doomed me straight into a black screen and then told me it no longer had a hard drive. Cue panic having to buy a new laptop and taking the old one to a computer repair store and praying like hell to any gods that would listen that they would be able to pull all of my files off my hard drive. Needless to say they were able to save them but it was very tense for a bit.

Fjord stretched tired and sore muscles out as he and Yasha finished bracing the last destroyed wall into place. It was hard to tell since the sun never really broke the everpresent cloud cover, and he didn’t have Caleb’s uncanny internal sense of time; but, he suspected that it was edging towards dusk. It was an eye opening experience to actually work with the Aurora Watch that was garrisoned here instead of sweep in and leave in a hurry the way they had the last time. They were, for the most part, a group of hardworking individuals doing the best with what they had and little support from the Dynasty.

 _Reminds me of Bryce and Alfield, I wonder how they’re doing and if they’ve returned from Blade Garden yet._ He shook his head at the thought even as he clapped the dusty dirt from his hands. Looking around he couldn’t see Caduceus anymore though he could certainly see where his friend had been a trail of foliage and fungus covered bodies dotting the dusty streets. _He’s probably taken someone aside to help them work through their grief_ , Fjord thought a small smile curving over his still somewhat stubby tusks. A steady flow of people had sought out the Firbolg, he had noticed, while he and Yasha helped rebuild the buildings and he couldn’t blame them for it. Caduceus was a port in the storm to those who were hurting even if they didn’t realize it at the time; and for those that were hurting and aware, that calm understanding was like seeing the beckoning light of a lighthouse at the end of a long journey.

“I think that we should head back,” Yasha’s quiet murmur broke him out of his thoughts. Glancing towards her, he could see her looking off towards the direction of Essek’s brother’s house a small thread of that unease from earlier finding its way into her posture the longer they lingered. He wasn’t sure how much she remembered of her time under Obann’s control, but it was enough that he could see the way she flinched slightly at certain areas of the city. The way she subconciously tried to make herself, unsuccessfully, smaller around the populace. They had a few close calls where it looked like some of the people recognized her and were going to make a scene but were stopped by her flinch. Fjord was glad that he hadn’t had to step in to defuse those situations and indeed they tapered off the instant they both said they wanted to help. It reminded him a little bit of being on a ship, not as the captain but as part of the crew. Everyone had a task to do and the only way it all got done was for everyone to do their part and if people talked while they did so, good natured bantering and discussion that they were too stubborn to call gossip, well it only helped the difficult work pass faster.

"Suppose you’re right, any idea where Caduceus has gotten to?” he asked her. She shook her head slightly her eyes trained on the two figures not quite limping through the streets towards the manse. Beau and Verin, apparently the Taskhand had taken the monk up on the offer to spar. Glancing quickly at Yasha he had to stifle a slight grin her slightly wide-eyed expression. Drawing closer he could see that both of them looked like they had gone a few rounds with “Capeleb” Beau moreso than Verin. As soon as the pair caught sight of them, Beau shot them both a bloodied grin that had the soft spoken barbarian taking a sudden quiet but sharp inhale her mismatched eyes widening slightly. He had to stifle a small snicker at Yasha’s reaction, if it had been Beau standing next to him he wouldn’t have stifled it; but, their Aasimar friend was more shy and he didn’t want to do anything to set back the careful dance towards a relationship the women had going. Deciding to throw her a lifeline so that she could find her tongue again he called out to the pair, specifically his first mate, “Please tell me this isn’t as bad as it looks.”

Beau just laughed and with faux casualty said, “mostly some bruised pride on both sides. Verin kicked my ass pretty good; but, in my defense he did cheat.”

She shot an exaggerated dirty look at Essek’s brother, who only smugly smirked in response clearly knowing that she was teasing him. A relieved feeling settled through him, he liked Verin; but, once bitten twice shy as Caduceus would say and he didn’t trust easily in the first place. When he was younger and still a fulltime sailor trying to decide which crew to sign on with he trusted what the crew would say about the captain, especially while on shoreleave, he had always found the ones where crew still spoke well of the captain even when off duty and into their cups were the ships that were the best and most trustworthy. Fjord assumed it was much the same with soldiers and the people here for the most part were loyal to a fault to Essek’s brother. Sure there was the occasional sour words here or there from some people but watching how the others treated those individuals he largely gathered that they were troublemakers and not well liked or trusted by their comrades. Still he tried to keep a skeptical eye on the Taskhand, the last thing he wanted was to be caught off-guard again the way they had with Essek. The way that Beauregard was interacting with him though had him relaxing that guard a bit. He had no doubt that she had been doing her best to extract information regarding their host with every blow she dealt and if she was relaxed enough to be playfully joking with the man then she clearly had gotten enough information to at least lower her own considerable suspicions. He was just enough out of his thoughts that he caught Verin’s retort, “It’s not cheating if you asked me to do it. It’s not my fault that you challenged me without knowing what my capabilities were.”

 _That sounds just like her,_ he mused ruefully remembering a few other times that she had dove head first into situations without knowing exactly what they were all up against _, especially when we first started out_. The four of them had started migrating towards the man’s home Beau and Verin still arguing cheerfully over whether or not Verin cheated during their spar. At some point it seemed that Yasha had finally gotten over the slight awkwardness of her earlier visceral reaction to seeing Beau smiling at her with a bloodily triumphant smile, enough so that she managed to ask quietly, “Why do you say he cheated?”

Beau turned towards Yasha a suddenly sheepish and slightly stilted quality entering her words and gait, “I..uh..may have challenged him to use his Echo Knight abilites during our..uh..spar, saying that the others that I had sparred with made it too easy for me. Thinking that I..uh..would be fighting two on one which, you know, evens the playing field a bit since you know he doesn’t fight primarily hand to hand. So he goes and fuckin summons _two_ echoes…” She pauses for dramatic effect, though the slight wheeze at the end of her breath tells him that she’s at least got bruised ribs.

“That was completely within bounds of the terms you set and therefore not cheating. Your terms were and I quote: first to pin the other for ten seconds or first to force the other out of the ring. Since I hope you’re not going to go easy on me the rules for your echo will be, if it can pin me it counts but it cannot be used to assist you in pinning me. If it is removed from the ring it’s out and cannot rejoin the fight. Those terms work for you?’ Nowhere in there did you say that I could not summon more than one echo, you assumed that I could not but did not state that multiple echoes were not allowed,” Verin broke in with a cat smug smirk (so much so that his nose started to tingle unpleasantly in reaction) and good natured retort. It was clear to him that they were more just bickering for the fun of it. Fjord watched Beau make a face at his quoting her words back to her directly.

“That’s a pretty good memory you got there, let me guess you always know which way is North and what time it is even without timepiece of some kind around?” She was fishing that much he knew, truthfully he wouldn’t have expected Verin to have the same kind of memory that Caleb had, in fact, he would have readily believed it more from Essek. He watched as the Taskhand chuckled then winced in pain as broken or bruised ribs made themselves known. Fjord knew from personal experience that Beau hit hard and fast when she could especially if she was annoyed.

“Do we need to get you to Caduceus, I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” he asked concern coloring his words as realized just how injured the two of them seemed to be. They had obviously beat the hell out of each other during their spar, which put a slight chill down his spine at the realization that Verin was clearly more dangerous than he had thought, three on one fight not-withstanding. He had seen Beau go up against similar odds and come out a little worse for the wear but triumphant; which meant either Essek’s brother was lying that he wasn’t very skilled at hand to hand fighting or that he was more cunning and tactically out thought her.

“If you think he’d be sympathetic enough to our plight to heal us, then great. Otherwise we were going to seek out Jester and see if she would be any kinder to us. And to answer your question Beauregard, yes. It’s a running joke here that I’m the only working timepiece in Bazzoxan,” Verin’s slightly pained but cheerful response made Fjord think. He immediately winced at that thought remembering everything about TravlerCon, Caduceus had become a bit less willing to put up with certain types of bullshit since then. Though in truth he couldn’t really blame the cleric, after all he did tend to nearly die or actually die a lot when things started to happen as a result of other members of the Mighty Nein fucking around doing things that they really didn’t need to. On second thought they were most definitely better off going to Jester for healing; for all that she protested that she didn’t like doing it she wouldn’t actually tell them no, unless she was completely tapped, at least not anymore. Sighing he said, “Ahh, yeah you’re probably better off going to Jester. I saw Caduceus using at least some of his healing spells to help those that were still injured earlier.”

Beau shot him a knowing look at his words, reading his unspoken message of Caduceus will probably take one look at the two of them and then decide that they needed the lesson of the pain they brought on themselves. Thankfully it appeared that Verin, true to his apparent easy going personality, didn’t take offense though the amused set of his smile told Fjord that he was just as adept at hearing the unspoken message as Beau. The four of them continued walking towards the manse in companionable silence. At some point he caught sight of Caduceus talking gently with someone, kneeling down to give them a hug more on their level. He hung back letting the others get ahead of him slightly waiting just long enough to catch the cleric’s eye and point at the direction the group was heading. Smiling when he got a slight nod and wave of fingers from Caduceus in acknowledgement, he would be along when he was finished and not a moment sooner. _Hopefully the others aren’t eager leave just yet, I have a feeling that he’s going to take a while._

That was one thing that both he and Yasha had observed and overheard while they were helping out with repairs there was a lot of anger and frustration built up amongst the populace. Nothing that they overtly said but he had been a part of too many crews where frustrations and upset went unsaid for fear of retaliation from the Captain or the First Mate not to recognize the signs. It all seemed to be directed, at least as far as he could tell, at the Dynasty itself in the very least at the leadership in Rosohna. It had made him almost uncomfortable the way that those they helped seemed almost painfully grateful if a bit wary. It was as if they never expected anyone to come to their aid even against the kind of terrifying forces that had spilled through the abyssal rifts. Even more uncomfortable than their reaction to him and the rest of Mighty Nein was their reaction to Essek. If their reaction to his friends had been painful gratitude tinged with wariness, the reaction to Essek coming to their aid was something akin disbelieving awe.

 _The way they spoke about him and tried to explain it to me…._ it made him uncomfortable certainly, especially since he knew what Essek had done. The more he listened and the more questions he asked it became clear that the general populace at large seemed to regard Essek as the monster under bed. Or at least the position of Shadowhand carried that perception, it didn’t seem that it was strictly attached him outside of his position. He had also learned that while there were some wizards and sorcerers who were attached to the Aurora Watch here they were more of the sort for whom magic was a secondary weapon that they had picked up not their primary one. The kind of spells that Caleb and Essek, especially Essek, had been throwing around in the fight yesterday was far beyond the scope of what many of them had ever seen. Add in the fact that they were scraping by with what little help that Verin could cobble together and he could vaguely understand their reactions even if he did feel it was somewhat misplaced. Here was a figure in their culture which was deeply mistrusted and viewed with an almost fear that suddenly swept in and unleashed magic on a scale they had rarely if ever seen in action all on their behalf. It would be as if the ancient dragon that laired in the hills which town legends said that it would occasionally come to raid or eat the townsfolk, suddenly swooped in to destroy an invading army then stayed to help clean up the mess.

His uneasy thoughts carried him all the way to the large iron-bound Vermaloc door of Verin’s home a step or two behind Yasha, the barbarian holding it open for him. Stepping into the entryway again brought home just how different it was from Essek’s towers. Whereas the towers were tastefully and expensively decorated in an elegant and minimalist fashion, this manse showed its elegance in the onyx tiled floors and carved wood and stonework. Except instead of looking deliberately minimalist it gave off the air that its best days were long behind it and that it was half abandoned. He got the feeling that it was a result of Verin giving whatever he could to the people stationed here. If that were the case then Fjord thought he could understand why the populace was so deeply angry and frustrated; but, not at the Taskhand. From overhead he could hear Jester’s voice exclaiming over Beau and Verin’s injuries drifting down from the second floor mixed with Veth’s occasional interjections causing his focus to return to the people around him. Yasha was still standing beside him in the entryway looking torn between moving towards the teasing and light-hearted scolding from Jester above them and trying to find somewhere quiet to get away from all the people for a bit.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you found an out of the way room to relax in,” Fjord told her when she seemed to freeze hesitation writing itself into her large frame. Glancing back him with a slightly questioning odd eyed gaze, he shrugged, “You were looking a bit tense, and I know you saved some of the more interesting flowers that Caduceus grew from the demons. I just thought you would like the opportunity to put them into your book without Jes being nosy.”

“I think I’d like that,” she replied the tension easing out of her frame as easily as the tide receding from the shore.

*********

He had to admit that getting healed by Jester was an experience, between the teasing and the scolding he wasn’t sure that he had ever been so cheerfully chastened for his injuries in his life. Nor could he recall a time that he had also laughed so hard while being healed, truly Beauregard’s flustered reaction to her friends’ antics and teasing was incredibly entertaining. Leaving the two of them their own devices he moved down the hallway to find out where Essek had holed up, he was presumably still copying the spell that mentioned the night before. Noticing Veth quietly slipping away from the women on near soundless feet after him, Verin got the impression that the Halfling was deliberately keeping her footsteps on faint side of audible. He honestly had no doubt that if she chose she could have tailed him with him being none the wiser of it. Curiosity began to prickle the edges of his thoughts even as he debated within himself whether or not this was a good time or place to give her the same warning that he had given Beauregard.

_Wait, see what she wants to talk about,_ even in his head the thought sounded like Essek and for once that didn’t immediately make him want to do the exact opposite of what it suggested. So he waited, pretending that he didn’t notice her frequent glances up at him as they fell into step. She lasted until they reached the top of the spiraling marble and onyx stairs before she broke the silence with a slight clearing of her throat. _Wait and see indeed,_ he only just avoided making a face as his memories supplied him with an image of his brother’s self-satisfied smug smirk to accompany that thought.

“Tell me about your mother,” her statement caught him off guard. _That’s not what I expected her to say_ , he thought even as his mind went blank for a moment. Verin’s feet froze mid-step in surprise his hand darting out to catch himself against the delicate wrought iron and Vermaloc wood banister to prevent himself from stumbling. Slowly lowering his foot to the step and turning back towards her ( _we’re nearly on eye level from this position_ ) he finally managed to find his tongue enough to ask, “Why do you want to know about her?”

He winced at the way his voice rasped slightly from the sudden dryness that plagued his throat; his mother was not a topic that he wanted unpack, so to speak, in fact he was more likely to unpack the topic that was his father than her. He had no choice but to meet Veth’s brown eyes, that seemed backed with steel, and wait for her to spell it out. He wasn’t going to hand it to her not when he wasn’t sure why she was fishing for that information in the first place. She held his gaze for several moments eyes seemingly searching him for something that he couldn’t fathom. Finally she sighed some the steel leaving her eyes and her posture relaxing just a hair.

“Call it curiosity from one mother about another. All Essek would tell us was her name and that she is your Den’s Umavi,” there was something about the set of her mouth as she said the words that was beginning to prickle alarm along the back of his neck. Almost as if she were trying to confirm something for herself. Suddenly he had the urge to sit down where he stood, proper etiquette and propriety be damned. Stubbornly remaining standing, if only to avoid putting himself in a disadvantaged position for this conversation, Verin considered what he was going to say. He was almost positive that this tied back to her seeming hostility towards Essek; but, he couldn’t be sure and that niggling doubt was maddening. Taking a deep breath and letting it out he grasped for something to say that would deflect her from this topic.

“I haven’t been the best mother. Part of that was due to the circumstances and my own fears at the time and I still wonder how can I be a good mother when I’m off adventuring and risking my life while leaving my husband and son alone. No matter how much they tell me they’re proud of me and love me, I feel a little like a fraud. I noticed that Essek doesn’t refer to her as mother at all, I guess I’m just trying find out why,” her voice was solemn and tinged with self-recrimination as she spoke. _So that’s why she’s asking, she’s trying to reassure herself that she’s a good mother…as compared to what? Our mother? Or is she trying to reassure herself that we have a good mother and her dislike of Essek is justified?_ His thoughts started the chase themselves around in his head and he could hear footsteps at the bottom of the stairs and the from the hallway where he had left Jester and Beauregard. This wasn’t the place to have this conversation if it must be had at all. Sighing Verin finally broke eye contact with Veth turning back towards the staircase moving his other foot off the landing to rest beside the one currently on the first step.

“No he doesn’t and for reasons that I suspect are far more personal than he realizes or would like shared. As for whether or not our mother is a good mother, it’s complicated and that is all that I am willing to say in this current setting,” he couldn’t keep the slight chill out of words as he spoke. These were feelings and a topic he had long kept to himself and avoided examining for he knew that if he started that he wouldn’t like what he found and the conclusions he arrived at. Briskly walking down the winding stairs he could hear her footfalls behind him attempting keep up with him. Verin was halfway down the stairs when he encountered Fjord and Yasha making their way up them, presumably to rejoin Jester and Beauregard. Reflexively giving both of them a friendly if strained smile as he passed them, he caught just the slightest flicker of suspicion in the Half-Orc’s eyes not directed at him but the Halfling shadowing him.

“Uh, are any of the rooms up on this floor off limits? Yasha is looking for a quiet place to sit for a while and as you may have guessed the rest of us tend not to be very quiet,” Fjord’s question broke the sense of urgency that he had been feeling trying to escape Veth’s question. Taking a slight breath he managed to gentle his tone into something a little less cold and closer to polite host as he replied, “all but the last pair of rooms at the end of the hall are open for guests. I apologize that they’re mostly unfurnished but if you’re simply looking for a quiet place they might be adequate.”

“Ah thank you,” the soft, diffident, and almost shy response from the very imposing woman was still as much as a surprise as it was yesterday when they had met. Nodding back his polite smile eased into something a little more genuine at her quiet gratitude. It was surprisingly easy to separate her from the bone-winged, black-eyed nightmare that had helped tear through his people just a couple of months earlier. Honestly even if Essek hadn’t explained her situation before he had met her he would have been able to tell the difference. As much as a part of him wanted to be angry, Verin was very glad that she had been freed from that horror and seemed to be recovering. Both she and Fjord continued up the stairs once again leaving him with alone with Veth and that damned question.

They traveled down the rest of the stairs in silence neither one willing break it just yet. _If she’s trying to out wait me into talking then she is sorely mistaken regarding my willingness to discuss this topic._ The thought was bitterly tinged and left a sour taste in the back of his throat all good feelings from earlier erased at the thought of trying to untangle the complicated knot of emotions and feelings that he had towards his mother. They reached the foyer and Verin headed towards the grand dining room where they had all eaten breakfast just hours earlier. Essek and the other arcanist hadn’t been in his study so they must be there, hopefully they wouldn’t mind too terribly much if he intruded. He reached the heavy double doors and noticed that one of them was propped open presumably to let them know ahead of time if someone wanted their attention. Stopping just short of the room’s threshold he had to stare. His brother and Caleb were seated together in a proximity that would be considered scandalously close according to polite Den etiquette, heads bowed towards each other as they quietly discussed something presumably some aspect of the spell Essek was clearly still copying. Caleb’s familiar still perched around his sibling’s neck and combing tiny hands through his hair. He had never seen his brother look that much at peace or relaxed, by the light he wanted to shake Essek over his stubbornness.

“He’s my boy too, you know,” Veth’s quiet voice from the vicinity of his elbow startled him out of his quiet observation, “I said that, made sure that all of the Mighty Nein knew it, and yet when I had my family within reach again I forgot. I haven’t been as good to him as I should have been, I lost sight of that fact, in the face of my ultimate goal. It makes me a pretty shitty parent, I think, especially since he hasn’t said a word regarding how much it hurt him. I don’t approve of your brother getting involved with my boy…”

Verin wanted snarl out that it didn’t matter if she approved or not, how could she not see the two wizards together and not acknowledge that they looked considerably more relaxed together than they were separate. He had seen his brother claw his way back towards feeling and acknowledging that he cared in no small part because of “her boy” and he would be damned to the Abyss if he was going to let her stand in the way if Essek ever stopped being a stubborn ass about his feelings. He nearly growled that sentiment out feeling compelled to defend his sibling not caring if it disturbed the two arcanists deeply engrossed in arcane theory. Before he could get the words out, she continued speaking.

“He had my husband kidnapped, imprisoned, starved, and traumatized; he terrified and put my son in danger. We trusted him only to find out just how involved he was in all of that. I have a right to disapprove; however, he also helped give me back to my family in my proper body…permanently. If Caleb decides that your brother makes him happy then I won’t fight it, I won’t protest. I owe both of them that much,” her words, venomous and self-deprecating though they were, soothed the protective rage that had been building in his chest. Exhaling a breath that he didn’t realize that he’d held, Verin paused to consider a response. She had made herself vulnerable to him and he thought he could see why she had been asking about his mother. It didn’t mean that he wanted to talk about her; nor did it mean that he wasn’t going to give her the same warning that he had given Beauregard just because he understood where her dislike was coming from. It took him a moment to decide, she had asked and if giving her a small idea of what it was like for them to grow up in their mother’s shadow helped her understand just how Essek could have ordered those things in scope of his job… well then it would be worth it. 

“I understand why you are angry with my brother. I also think I understand why you asked about our mother. I told you it was complicated,” swallowing back the bitterness that wanted to erupt at those last words. He stayed quiet for a few moments more trying to figure out the best way to explain morass that was their childhood to someone who didn’t grow up within the Dynasty and its culture centered around the Luxon. To her credit, Veth waited without rushing him. “The difference between you and a bad parent is that you care, you admit that you’ve made mistakes and you’re trying to amend them. Our mother cannot and will not.”

The words sounded heretical and damning when spoken aloud, these thoughts that he had long buried and pretended didn’t exist. If he never admitted them aloud or dwelt on them too long then he could ignore them. He could continue to convince himself that the main reason he had joined the Aurora Watch wasn’t because he was looking for something that felt like family. It was hard admitting that his mother didn’t, couldn’t, and never would care about him or his brother the way he wished she would. That as he had grown older the harder it was it was to even be in the same room as her because he couldn’t even bring himself to like her or even tolerate her as an almost stranger that he was related to. Looking down he saw Veth looking up at him an emotion that wasn’t quite pity in her eyes.

“Essek told you that she was the Umavi of Den Thelyss, he didn’t tell you what that meant did he?” The question was necessary, he needed to know just how much he would need to explain in order to make her understand. She shook her head slightly and he couldn’t help but sigh. _This is going to be painful_ , dread laced that thought as he realized just how much he would have to spell out to her.

“Just that an Umavi is a perfect soul, someone who has lived so many lives and experiences that their soul has nothing left to learn,” the explanation she gave was basic and not entirely accurate; but, enough so that it would be easy enough to build upon it and be understandable without delving into the deeply theological nuances that accompanied the concept. _Not as painful as I first believed even if I still have to explain more than I’d like._

“In a manner of speaking. What he didn’t say is that our mother was one of the first of our people to be consecuted along with the Umavi of Den Mirimm. I believe you’ve met her. As one of the first Umavi it is expected that any children she has will be a returning soul. Returning souls will always be re-adopted back into the Den that their first life belonged to when they were consecuted,” pausing to let that information sink in he glanced back over towards his brother to make sure that he was still occupied with the spell. The last thing he wanted was Essek to know that he was telling her this. He directed his gaze back towards the Halfling to see that her brow was furrowed putting creases in the bright teal slightly iridescent tattoos that framed her eyes.

“Our mother hadn’t given birth to a new souled child in over seven lifetimes, and at first with how quickly my brother took to Dunamancy it wasn’t immediately apparent that he was a new soul. Everything about Dunamancy, the study of Graviturgy in particular, it was as if he was merely remembering instead of learning. Then he turned fifty, fifty-five, sixty, sixty-five and it became clear that he was just Essek. He wasn’t going to remember a previous lifetime,” Verin hoped that she could read between the lines that he wouldn’t need to explain just how damaging that had been for his brother and for himself. She was staring at him a stubborn set to her features telling him that she was still unconvinced ( _Dammit how much more do I have to dredge up before you get it?_ )with a sigh he continued speaking, “The only thing saving that fact from being a complete scandal among the Dens was that he was a prodigy. It still didn’t matter though he was a new soul and her already distant interest in him evaporated at least until he managed to make a breakthrough in Dunamancy that earned him his consecution.”

Verin saw her wince at the quiet bitterness that flooded that last statement, just mentioning it was enough to make him want to spit. That event, at the time, had seemed to him the end of anything positive about his brother or their family. The fact that his brother’s consecution coincided with the realization that he too was a new soul and there wasn’t even the promise of him being a prodigy to salvage that fact wasn’t lost on him. She had done it deliberately to take attention off of the fact that her second child this lifetime was also a new soul. After all that was so much less interesting than the fact that her first new souled child was one of the youngest individuals in the Dynasty to earn the rite of consecution. Verin knew that Veth was waiting for him to continue speaking he just couldn’t, not yet; his eyes instead sought out the figures of his brother and her boy to reassure himself that it wasn’t a wistful dream.

“Even then that interest was in how far and high he could climb politically within the Bright Court. There was no affection, not that there had been much there to begin with, simply intense scrutiny. It helped that she saw herself in him, I think. He was a reflection of her; her ambition, her teachings and lessons, everything that she valued outside of her religion my brother molded himself in her image. Also I think that the fact he physically takes after her very strongly as well played a major part in that interest as well,” he could feel the way his lips twisted into a sneer as he spoke. He didn’t think that he could ever forgive his mother for her part in what happened between Essek and himself. The way that she had manipulated things to set them both against each other the moment she realized they were both new souls. Letting them believe that her regard, affection, and respect were things that they would be able to earn in time if they could just meet her impossible standards. Even though his brother had impossibly seemed to remake his entire self to be a mirror image of her to the point where he was as fluent in the language of political intrigue and maneuvering as she was it still wasn’t enough.

“Essek learned very early on that the only way to get her attention was to be exceptional at everything and exceed in the areas that she valued. As far as I’ve figured out he used his consecution to essentially start from a blank canvas, he buried his emotions and conscience in order to become someone she approved of. He didn’t stop doing that until he met all of you, particularly your boy,” letting an edge of warning bleed its way into his voice Verin looked down at the Halfling. His lips stretched into a gallows smile and he could see her take a step back. _Good_ , he thought slightly viciously, _now you understand and this warning will hopefully hit a little closer to home._ His smile grew colder and he started to speak again this time his words were sharp enough to cut glass, “Our mother set us against each other, made us believe that was the only way to earn her affection. I watched Essek destroy everything kind and decent about his personality for that goal. He’s finally starting to undo that damage and I will stand behind him _every_ step of the way. I promise that if you or any of yours cause him to return to that state…there will be nowhere that you can go or hide that I won’t follow and do my damnedest to destroy you.”

Hissing those last words as lowly and quietly as possible Verin was satisfied to see that she had backed up almost all the way to wall next to the closed door. The look on her face made him feel a little guilty, after all she had no way of knowing what her curiosity would dredge up and the reason why he kept it buried. Still it got his intended point across and he could live with that. As he watched the wary and apprehensive expression on her her face firmed up and a steely fire seemed to blaze in her eyes. She whipped a hand crossbow from a holster at the small of her back that had been hidden by the folds of her skirt and pointed it at him, it was unloaded but he had no doubt that she wouldn’t let that stop her if she intended to do him harm. The fierce edge to the feral smile she flashed him was almost disconcerting as off balance as he was at the moment.

“You can try and I promise if your brother ever hurts Caleb the way he did before…” Veth’s voice trailed off slightly as she stared him down before picking back up, “I’m not going to leave anything left of him. Do we understand each other?”

She had guts, he had to give her that and he understood why “the brave” was affixed to her name (at least according to Essek it was he hadn’t heard her or her friends refer to her as that) for a brief moment he had felt just a small frisson of fear run down his spine at her words. He couldn’t help the small huff of laughter that escaped him at the irony of the situation. Her eyes narrowed and he could tell that she was fighting to keep her voice down so as not to disturb the wizards just beyond the doors. _She probably thinks I’m laughing at her threat_ , he thought. Instead he held out his right hand towards her waiting for her to take it. Veth lowered the hand crossbow slowly and reached out take his extended hand.

“I believe that we do,” her hand gripped his tightly with the intent to squeeze as he spoke and a cool but intent smirk crossed her face. _I really hope neither of us has to make good on those promises, because I’m not sure which of us would come out the other side_. He could hear the rustling of parchment and the sound of chairs legs starting to scuff along the stone floor, it seemed that his brother was finished copying the spell. They had a limited amount of time before their little threat display resolution was found out and he knew that if Essek ever found out that he had threatened some of his friends over him…well he would be livid. From the look on Veth’s face it seemed that Caleb wouldn’t be much happier about it either.

Quickly dropping hands they moved apart a certain awkwardness to their movements. He was just about to suggest that they actually enter the room when she said, “You talked about how Essek was affected but not about you. How did that affect you?”

Flashing her a bitter smile he said, voice barely above a whisper now that his brother’s attention wasn’t solidly focused elsewhere, “How do you think I ended up here, I wasn’t a prodigy.”

He left it at that as he turned and strode through the open door to pester his brother. If he was doing it as an excuse to chase away the bitterness and pain that he had just dredged through, well only Veth would know. Besides he wasn’t playing that game anymore and he liked who he had become in spite of it; the fact that he was getting to watch Essek do the same was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows when the next chapter will be updated, I'm going to be moving in the next several weeks and a lot of my time will be taken up settling into the new job, and getting things unpacked. Hopefully that won't take me too long. Hopefully this chapter wasn't too emotionally draining considering that the last half was incredibly difficult to write.


	14. Essek/Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Essek attempts comfort and brotherly bonding and Caleb listens to Veth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thank you to those of you who leave reviews on this fic I really do cherish everyone of them. They are part of what has kept me going this past year and into this year as well. That being said we're starting to get into the final stretch of this fic and unless the characters hijack the plot even further into left field this fic should only have two or three more chapters left in it. Also I will never forgive 5E for removing the Drow Specific languages from D&D. Liguistically it doesn't make sense that they would speak Elven if you go by WoTC's own lore, the fact that they got rid of Drow Sign Language too is especially annoying so I've elected to ignore that fact and re-introduce it back into Wildemount.

The last curves of ink began to dry on the page as he looked up from copying the spell into his spellbook, relieved that it hadn’t been as awkward to be the only one copying as he had feared. Truthfully it was better that Caleb hadn’t accepted his offer given that Essek had needed to ask him multiple times to clarify some areas of the spell as his student reverted to his mother tongue on all the notes and observations. It felt…comfortable, the hungry void within him that always demanded more (more knowledge, more acknowledgement, more information….) easing into a quiet if not entirely satisfied purr. _Perhaps if the amends that_ _I_ _make are good enough, and I can find some way to earn back their trust, he would be willing to share more of his own spells with me. Possibly this might become an event that is not so one-sided between us._ The thought ached in a way he tried not examine too closely as it skirted the edges of his far too fragile hopes.

For now he was content to take in the moment and attempt to commit the small things that he had been convinced he would never experience again to memory. Things such as the warmth that seemed to radiate from the other wizard, the way that he would lean over into Essek’s space to tap the notation that he was translating, small things that spoke of a comfort level and measure of trust between them he would not take for granted again. Especially not now when he knew just how easily it could all vanish. Finally he could no longer pretend that he was still waiting for the ink to dry and began to meticulously cap the ink and blot the pen to empty the reservoir ensuring that the remaining ink didn’t dry and clog it. They shuffled their chairs away from each other and he couldn’t help but feel a slight chill as they did so.

 _It’s almost time to return them to their ship,_ he told himself after all the length of time it would take for him to copy this spell was most of the reason the rest of his friends had delayed their return in the first place. Now that it was finished they would surely, some more than others he noted, be eager to return to their adventures. Then he would be left waiting until ( _if_ , his mind traitorously told him) they decided to return to Rosohna or contact him again, it would have to be enough. 

Standing up he could feel Frumpkin’s tiny hands grip his hair tightly as the movement destabilized the little familiar. He was going to miss the grounding weight and warmth of the monkey when he returned his friends to their ship. This small sign that Caleb trusted him enough not to hurt his treasured companion. If it weren’t for the fact that familiars almost always took a form that was representative of their summoner’s personality, he might have been tempted to cast the spell for himself. However, he knew his own nature far too well and given his position in addition to the way he had used it to achieve his own ends regarding the beacon; Essek knew the form any familiar he summoned would most likely take would be a spider. He couldn’t afford that, not with all the scrutiny he was under, that would be a death sentence. It was, in his private opinion, why he believed that most Dynasty mages didn’t bother with the spell at all, no one wanted to be tarred with the ugly brush of their people’s past nor did they dare court the speculation, distrust, and possible consequences that would come as soon as it was revealed.

Light footsteps from behind them alerted Essek that he and Caleb were no longer alone in the dining room. _At least they waited to disturb us until I had finished copying the spell, I am not so practiced as Caleb is in ignoring interruptions,_ he thought a painful gratitude echoing through his mind. Both Caleb and he turned to greet whomever had just entered the room and Essek had to bite back the first thought that came into his head at the sight of his brother. There was a slight stiffness to his gait, not enough to alter his brother’s stride but enough so that he wasn’t as careful as he normally was when stepping. The slight finger flex as if he had been clenching them into tight knuckled fists and the tension still lingered in his joints. A tightness to the skin around his eyes lending a strained quality to the smile on his face. Something had upset Verin and he was trying to hide it. Concern flooded through his body, his brother had been his regularly cheerful self this morning when they had all separated and surely if something had happened to endanger the populace he and he friends would have been notified.

Taking an aborted step forward Essek paused he wasn’t good at comforting others, touch often felt abrasive or overwhelming and his words almost always came across as disingenuous or unintentionally offensive. _I feel so useless_ , he thought even as he watched his brother angle his body towards him his expression softening into a wan and tired grin. Without thinking his fingers flicked through the signs of the subtle sign language that their people had carried with them out of the Underdark. Each noble Den had their own variation, as did the Lens and the Aurora Watch, the meanings and signs changing and adapting as they had. _Are you okay?_ His fingers and brows asked in the Den Thelyss variant hoping that Verin noticed. As he watched his sibling’s hand came up, as if to brush some flyaway hairs from his braid out of his face, fingers subtly replying _I’m fine, talk later._

_Indeed we will be_ , Essek resolved to himself, Verin’s wellbeing had become as just as important to him as his friends’. To his right Caleb seemed to startle a bit at something he couldn’t see beyond his sibling reminding him that the other wizard was in fact very observant as well. _I’ll tell him about the hand-sign if he asks_ , he told himself not caring that it was a closely guarded secret within the noble Dens and the Bright Court that it existed at all. After all it wasn’t as if he hadn’t already shared Dynasty secrets with the Mighty Nein before; another small treason to add to his growing pile and one of the few that he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty over. It seemed though, as he followed Caleb’s gaze, it wasn’t the sign language that had caught his attention but Veth standing nervously just outside the doors a troubled expression on her face. A quick look back at his sibling, who tracking the quick flick of his eyes offered up a rueful grimace in response, provided at least a partial answer to his brother’s poor mood.

For a brief moment panic raced along his nerves, had she told his brother of his treason? Was that why Verin was so upset? _No, no he would be furious if he knew. He wouldn’t say that he was fine or that we’d talk later. He would be demanding that I explain myself at the very least. No, he still doesn’t know._ Logic prevailed and he was able to get his breathing under control before his sibling noticed. This seemed less furious and more tired somehow. He wasn’t sure but he had to trust that she hadn’t said anything since his brother wasn’t clapping him in manacles.

He watched as Caleb moved over to his friend and murmured something just low enough that, distracted as he was, Essek wasn’t able to make out. Instead he stepped forward and tentatively reached out to place a hand on Verin’s shoulder choosing to focus his attention on him since he seemed so out of sorts. He didn’t expect his brother to lean into the contact ever so slightly nor the grateful quirk of a grin he received in return. A small thrill of warmth buzzed through him as he realized that for once it seemed that he managed to do something comforting without it coming across wrong.

“We’re waiting on Caduceus,” Veth’s voice almost caused him to flinch not used to sudden increase in volume after the last several hours of quiet. _I see hopefully that will leave me with just enough time to find out what is bothering my brother,_ Essek told himself, privately glad that he didn’t have to rush off immediately and have to put it off until the next time he could get away to visit.

“Well since we’re not leaving immediately I would like to go over the requirements of the spell with my brother. We’ll be in his office, the room at the end of the hall on the right-hand side,” he called out to Caleb and Veth ignoring the slightly suspicious look Verin shot his way. Pressing lightly on his sibling’s shoulder to indicate that he should start walking out of the room, Essek began moving towards the double door. Taking the hint Verin moved easily enough that slight heaviness to gait persisting all the way until they were out of the room and half way up the stairs.

He tried several times to speak, to ask what was wrong, but the words just wouldn’t come. They passed by the empty rooms with their missing doors and a smile found its way to his face as Jester’s voice could be heard drifting out from the room his friends had claimed as theirs the night before quite clearly exclaiming excitedly over something. Frumpkin dropping down off of his shoulder to scamper back to his wizard as Caleb and Veth peeled off to follow the familiar bright laughter of their friend. Still they didn’t speak; the growing silence was beginning to make him uneasy, his thoughts beginning to chase themselves in circles again, and Essek breathed a sigh of relief when they entered the door-less room at the end of the hall. As soon as they were in the room proper he gestured for Verin to take a seat on the fainting couch.

“What’s wrong? Something has upset you and I would like to know if there is anything I can do to fix it,” he said settling onto the couch next to his brother when he took a seat. When Verin didn’t say anything he said, “I can try and talk to her for you, or I can ask one of the others to talk to her I’m not sure she’d listen to me. I’m not sure what she did or said but I can at least try.”

The raspy and slightly bitter chuckle he got in response sent tendrils of alarm down his spine, and he couldn’t help the way that his hands started creeping forwards to cover his brother’s. Resolving to at least try to talk to Veth about it anyway even if Verin didn’t tell him what had happened Essek ruefully thought, _that seems to be my first impulse these days. How can I fix it? Even if there’s nothing that I can truly do to fix it, at least no way that doesn’t also end in my execution in most cases._

“She asked about Mother,” Verin’s words drenched him in the sensation of icewater as his mind stuttered to a halt for a moment. He was sure he was gaping embarrassingly like a particularly stunned and landed fish. The urge to hyperventilate like one coursed through him, that was the last thing he had expected his brother to say. Essek wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t have rather she _had_ told his sibling about his crimes rather than ask about information regarding the Umavi.

“Wh..why? For what purpose?” he stammered managing find his tongue again amid his shock. Verin just let out that bitter raspy chuckle again and collapsed against the back of the couch like a marionette whose strings had been cut. He closed his eyes, ran a hand over his face, and stayed silent long enough that Essek began to think that he wasn’t going to answer at all. Finally he sighed and looked back over towards him and said, “Partially to lay to rest some of her own insecurities and partially to satisfy some questions she had in regards to our upbringing. At least if I had to hazard a guess, that’s why.”

Wincing in sympathy he couldn’t help but be upset at her for pressing such a sensitive topic. Though to be fair he hadn’t let on how complicated his relationship with the Umavi was. He supposed he couldn’t really blame his friends for being curious, though he had expected the question to come from Jester more than Veth.

“You didn’t have to answer her,” Essek told his brother as soon as he could be sure that he had Verin’s attention, “You weren’t obligated to explain anything. She or Jester probably would brought the question to me…eventually and I could have deflected it. There was no reason for you to dig at…old hurts to satisfy her curiosity.” If he paused and hunted for words more clumsily than usual he didn’t think his sibling would mind. After all Verin knew that he struggled to express himself sincerely, even more-so when the topic was emotionally charged, and in this case he was mostly sure that his brother would be able to intuit what he was trying to say.

Verin rolled his head over to look at him eyes uncharacteristically solemn. He watched as his sibling seemed to chew the inside of his cheek for a bit as he determined how he wanted to order his thoughts into words. It gave him pause, because it was so unusual for Verin to not know how he wanted to say something. Honestly he usually, in Essek’s experience at least, just stated it as plainly and simply as possible even if stating it in a slightly more diplomatic way would have served him better. Finally his brother sighed and said, “Yes I did, because they have come to the aid of Dynasty far too many times now. They keep ingratiating themselves and sooner or later Mother will want to see if she can use them to further her political aspirations. In this case it’s a matter of forewarned, is fore-armed.”

“She wouldn’t, they’re, politically speaking, a shaky bet,” he tried to sound confident in his words though they came out less sure than he would have hoped. Verin’s sardonic huff humorless laughter didn’t help his conviction at all nor did the disbelieving arch of his eyebrow. The combination of the two sent a bristle of defensiveness prickling down his spine as much as he didn’t want to admit it. The incredulous expression eased into something more sympathetic and his brother said, “That may be but they’re also the Heroes of the Dynasty, they were critical in convincing the Dynasty and the Empire to make peace, and now they just came to aid the Dynasty again in order to prevent Bazzoxan from falling. Even with everything that says they should be a liability they’ve done enough that those in power are going to be questioning their loyalty less than before. Besides she would do it just to see how much you are swayed by them and vice versa, she already started hinting at it during that dinner.”

Essek knew Verin was right, as much as he didn’t want to believe it, he also knew that the Umavi would eat his friends alive if they weren’t made aware of what she was like ahead of time. She would either manipulate them into agreeing to something they couldn’t afford to or worse yet they would make the mistake of defending him or Verin. If it were only Caleb and Beauregard, possibly Fjord, he wouldn’t need to worry honestly the monk was suspicious and observant enough that she might even figure out the Umavi’s power games and motives without the forewarning; but the others they needed the warning.

“I’ve had enough of, what did you call it old hurts, for today,” his brother murmured before flashing him a wicked grin at him all traces of the bitterness and upset buried. He had just enough time to register that look, and think that maybe he hadn’t been the only one wearing masks his whole life, when Verin continued speaking in a sly tone of voice. “So you and Caleb looked pretty cozy earlier, is it really that necessary to sit that close while copying a spell?”

He couldn’t help but groan and hide his face in his hands as he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. This is what he got for being honest about his feelings last night, now his brother wasn’t going to let it go. He understood that his sibling wanted to see him happy; but, he was also sure that Verin was partly doing it out of some misguided notion that a healthy sibling relationship required vast amounts of teasing each other over any vaguely embarrassing topic. He wanted to call bullshit; but, the only example of something vaguely representing a common sibling relationship was Beauregard and Caleb, and…well… the Mighty Nein couldn’t be called ordinary or conventional by any terms. Which meant that he wasn’t able to add the fact that they did quite often tease each other in a similar manner to his calculations as he didn’t honestly know if it would balance the equation on the side of outliers or the baseline.

“Verin, he was helping me translate some of his notations for the spell as he had reverted to his mother tongue and I didn’t exactly prepare a different set of spells last night. Meaning I don’t have Comprehend Language prepared today.” Essek was resolutely not looking at his brother when he spoke trying to ignore the burning sensation across the bridge of his nose and both cheeks. The disbelieving hum he got in response pricked his irritation just enough that against his better judgment he turned to look at Verin who was wearing an expression that was somewhere between wicked amusement and comically smug that he narrowed his eyes in annoyance instinctively.

“Uhmhmm, sure because translations always require you to be pressed close enough into the other person’s side that our Great Aunt Imryl would be harassing mother about whether or not your human had initiated the proper suite for your hand,” Verin’s voice was dripping teasing skepticism and Essek could feel his ears starting to burn even as a slight pins and needles sensation spread across his face. There was a slightly threadbare bolster pillow on the opposite side of his brother and casting a quick Mage Hand, the somatic component hidden by his leg, he grabbed it clumsily whacking his sibling in the face with it. The wide-eyed stunned fish impression Verin gave him in reaction was far too entertaining and a breathless laugh burbled its way out of his mouth.

His brother’s eyes narrowed and he snatched the pillow, which was hanging limply in the air in the absence of any other commands, out of the Mage Hand’s grasp swinging it with a surprising amount of force into Essek’s chest. He was laughing too hard at this point to defend himself all he was able to do was roll with the strike while trying, unsuccessfully, to stop the laughter. It was without a doubt the most childish thing he had ever done in his life and he couldn’t stop giggling at the absurdity of it. Soon enough Verin too succumbed to laughter chasing the last remaining shadows from earlier away and flopping bonelessly into his space head coming to rest somewhere on his sternum as his sibling was just the slightest bit too tall to comfortably rest on his shoulder and his head kept slipping off Essek’s narrow shoulder. Suppressing a smile he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of happiness glowing like an ember in his chest. _Come what may, even if my friends decide that I am incapable of change or atonement I still have this_ , he thought a small smile curving its way across its face.

*********

Caleb had seen the flash of worry cross Essek’s face when his brother entered the room lending a sudden tension to the previously relaxed atmosphere. Then after Veth had peeked around the corner and shuffling in wearing a conflicted expression he was able to reason out a likely explanation for both looks. He had to wait until his friend had gotten close enough to him that he could whisper to her with minimal risk of being overheard. He wasn’t sure if it was caution, courtesy, or just plain curiosity that led him to saying this while both Drow were within ear shot.

“Whatever you two spoke about seems to have touched a nerve,” it was part observation and part warning, she grimaced back at him nose wrinkling slightly with the expression. Sensing that she didn’t want to talk about whatever had just happened in front of either of the brothers he simply didn’t wait for a proper answer and asked, “is everyone ready leave yet?”

This question chased away, or at least smoothed out, some of worry lines that settled into her face. Veth took a enough of a breath to project slightly louder than she needed to and said, “we’re waiting on Caduceus.”

Caleb could see Essek’s aborted flinch at the sudden increase in volume out of the corner of his eye and he couldn’t help a small fond quirk of a smile at the other wizard’s jumpiness. Glancing back down he noticed that his dearest friend had tracked his line of sight and was wearing that conflicted expression again. _Since we’re waiting I suppose that I can wait to ask her what’s on her mind when get we back to the others, no sense in possibly offending our host or our friend,_ he reminded himself. It wasn’t long after that thought crossed his mind Essek mentioned that he would like to review some of the specifics of the transmutation spell with his brother. Presumably the practical elements such as necessary physical components and warnings about to what to expect from the results based off the hastily scribbled notes in the margins of the pages that he feverishly scribed in after the casting was successful in the Lavish Chateau.

It was somewhat amusing to him that Verin let Essek gently herd him out the door with a gentle press of his hand on his brother’s shoulder. That was one thing that Caleb noticed had changed in the time between the confession in the Ball Eater’s hold and now, the Drow was ever so slightly more tactile both with the Mighty Nein and it seemed, though he had no earlier frame of their relationship to compare, his younger sibling. It was quite the contrast from the stiff unsure touches he had endured with varying degrees of tolerance from Caleb and his friends. What it meant he didn’t know and Caleb warned himself not to read too much into reminding himself that it did no good to dwell on wishful thinking instead of seeing what was actually there. Still it felt a little like progress towards the future he hoped for Essek to have, and more importantly want.

The silence as the four of them traversed the stairs up to the upstairs landing began to feel heavy, tense, and watchful bringing tendrils of unease tickling at the back of his neck and along his scarred forearms. _Just what happened between the two of them. Surely Veth wouldn’t tell Verin about the who was actually responsible for the theft of the Beacons._ His thoughts began to gain that obsessive buzz and the faintly “sticky” quality that caused them to latch onto other thought lines and become increasingly difficult to separate. They passed down the hallway passing empty rooms framed with empty doorways. In one he caught a glimpse of Yasha carefully laying out some stalks of tiny white bell shaped flowers as she decided where in her book to press them. They heard Jester before they saw her, stopping just before the open door to the room they had claimed last night. She was laughing, mostly at Beau’s suspense, while the monk told her all about the spar she’d had earlier that day. A quick glance over his shoulder revealed that Essek and his brother had moved on down the hall towards the last set of doors. Mentally calling Frumpkin back to him, Caleb paused pretending to wait for the familiar to come back to him and in reality opening up the chance to speak to Veth before they rejoined the rest of the group.

“Mein Freund,” he started at the same time that she said, “I…”

They paused for a moment chuckling slightly at the situation, nodding graciously he prompted his friend. She shook her head fondly a slight smile on her face that faded back into that disconcerted and slightly conflicted expression she had been wearing since he and Essek had finished the spell. She took a steadying breath, the kind she took when she was aiming her crossbow, (in, hold 3, out) before speaking, “I don’t want to feel sympathy for him. He hurt my husband, he hurt my son, and he hurt you.”

Shaking her head slightly just enough to set the ends of her two braids swinging brushing over button necklace ever so slightly. The set of her mouth hardened and an angry glint entered her eyes. Caleb wasn’t sure if the anger was directed at Essek, at the situation, or whatever had transpired before she and Verin had entered the room.

“I don’t want to feel sympathy for him,” she repeated, “but, I do. I want to be angry at him and blame everything solely on him and his actions; but I can’t. Because I know what it’s like to grow up believing that all the ways you are not what everyone wants you to be are shameful. That if you could figure out how to fix those, things would be better. That woman does not deserve the title of mother, and I know why he doesn’t use it.”

Caleb stayed silent not quite knowing what to say. That wasn’t what he had expected, though he avoided talking about parents in general if at all possible lest he wake to dreams of flames carrying panicked screams with them as they licked across a thatched roof. He wasn’t sure there was anything he could say to that statement. They were saved from having to speak when Jester called out to them, “Are you two just going to stand in hallway? Come in join us!”

“Yeah, come on you two. I was telling Jester about how Essek’s brother cheated during our spar,” Beau’s voice called out seconds after Jester’s. The warmth in both their voices chased away the chill that had seemed to settle over the two of them. Exchanging a look that felt no less familiar to him now that her eyes were warm brown instead of lamp-light yellow the two of them walked into the room. He did note that an interesting silent conversation seemed to take place between Veth and Beau and reminded himself to find out from Veth what that was all about. Sitting down he noted that if thought about it he could still feel the brush of Essek’s fine, soft hair brushing against his cheek as he leaned in to translate the half scribbled Zemnian notes in the margins and the way he always tilted his head towards Caleb. It felt good sharing a spell with the other wizard this time instead of the other way around. Perhaps if he continued to see these small changes in the other, small signs that he was right to have placed his hope in Essek then he might be able to trust him with other spells. It was a start, and he couldn’t help but think of a pearl dissolving as it was placed in the center of a violet grey forehead granting the possibility of a second chance. A tiny spark of possibility that while it couldn’t turn back time or right the wrongs that they had committed, could at least promise the opportunity to change something small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to get this up because this weekend has been shit from Friday morning onwards and I've spend most of it crying from anxiety, frustration, just plain heartache and I needed to do something good for myself. So I finished this chapter a little shorter than I had originally intended but I'm happy with how it turned out and I hope you enjoy it too.

**Author's Note:**

> The Tunic of Force Armor that Essek has is roughly based off of the Robe of Force Armor from 3.5, which I am now unable to find anywhere, and I no longer have the character sheet for the character so I am unable to verify the name of the item. However I did find a homebrew version of the Force Armor spell, which is a close enough approximation:
> 
> Force Armor  
> 1st-level Abjuration  
> Casting time: 1 minute  
> Range: Touch  
> Components: V, S  
> Duration: 24 hrs, Till short or long rest
> 
> You touch a willing creature who isn't wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends. The target's base AC becomes 13 + its Intelligence modifier. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.
> 
> At Higher Levels. This spell’s ac gets a bonus +2 when you reach 5th level, 11th level (+4), and 17th level (+8).


End file.
